««- · CWU MEMOiRS 0x88 · -»»
========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x88 =========
DaTE: 1997-02-22 aT 17:20
LoCATi0N: bERgLUndS' aPArTmEnt @ KirKOnKYLaE LieTeVESi PiELaVeSi
pREsENT: DaRK FuCKeR (semi-formerly of C00LeS WaReZ UNiON)
MIKAEL . HENCCA . JONETZU . TEMETZU
===========================================================================
JONETZU: Yesss!!!
HENCCA: Fuck!!!
JONETZU: Now that was a fuckin' tight match!
HENCCA: Yeah, ya beat me by three frags...
TEMETZU: And I dinna get so far behind y'all either.
HENCCA: But Hautataipale once again was the overwhelmin' loser!!
DaRK FuCKeR: SO UNFAIR!! Y'all have played more than me, and besides y'all always ally against me -
TEMETZU: No, the main reasonwas that yer have some pitiful 486 flupump as yer computer!
DaRK FuCKeR: Well, yeah, maybe that played a part too...
MIKAEL: If you wanna succeed in fps games, the most important thing is that you've got high fps!
JONETZU: In netgames the speed of your modem is also meaningful -
DaRK FuCKeR: I'm gonna overclock my 486 to at least 150 MHz and then I'm gonna beat y'all!!
TEMETZU: Well, not sure if that helps, especially once all the rest of us have Voodoo cards and GLQuake...
JONETZU: It really won't, especially over the net, if yer mawdem's some puny 14k4 -
DaRK FuCKeR: It's TERBO and no 14k4!! 19k2 -
HENCCA: It's all the same!! Even 28k8 is barely enuff in a proper deathmatch!
TEMETZU: Yeah, ye should rather have at least 33k or ISDN there!!
HENCCA: The best option would be to play at some school that's got a proper fixed line...
JONETZU: Yeah, all the tuff clans like FAQ always play from that Helsinki university that's got proper Quake lightcables!!
MIKAEL: Yeah, that CWUnet of the Hautataipale guys wasn't even a proper fixed network 'cause it lagged so badly all the time...
DaRK FuCKeR: Guess it would've worked well enough with QuakeWorld -
TEMETZU: Well, there was so much lag that ye even noticed it clearly on IRC!! QuakeWorld really wouldna have helped at all...
HENCCA: But the point here anyway was that ya can't get into our clan if ya ain't got at least Pentium and 28k8!
DaRK FuCKeR: Well, I don't really know if I even want into some clan, at least into sump'n called LIETELANTA -
JONETZU: WE AIN'T NAW LIETELANTA ANYMAW, BLOODY DAMMIT!!
HENCCA: YEAH, YA FUCKIN' CAMPER HICK!!
JONETZU: We're CZ nowadays! CLAN ZERO!!!
DaRK FuCKeR: Well yeah, that's a bit better name -
HENCCA: Ya should follow the news, clown!
DaRK FuCKeR: But I ain't been able to take part to the last LAN 'cause my mummy and daddy -
HENCCA: Get some fuckin' trailer for yar bicycle then, so ya can bring yar flupump in from Hautataipale more easily -
DaRK FuCKeR: I dunno if I care aboot that sorta project, 'cause I rather play just normally and not in a crew -
HENCCA: CLAN, no fuckin' CREW, ya fuckin' camper!!
DaRK FuCKeR: Well, ain't clans like gamin' crews? Who cares -
HENCCA: NO, THEY AIN'T! It's all different!! Clans are better than crews!!
MIKAEL: Crews are all just some morons who brag at MBnet or IRC or by makin' some stupid demos...
TEMETZU: Yeah, they always take over channels on IRC! That's why ICQ is so much better than IRC, 'cause there ain't naw fuckin' crews there...
HENCCA: Yeah, IRC could maybe be okay if it got a network that only had Quake clans there and no fuckin' crews!!
JONETZU: Clans also make demos, but they're all Quake demos and naw Asm demos! Lots more entertainin' to watch 'em -
DaRK FuCKeR: I don't reckon ye can even compare Quake demos to -
JONETZU: If ye wanna get respect at computer stuff nowadays, ye should rather found a CLAN and not a CREW!!
MIKAEL: Or if you wanna do something else besides playing, then you should go straight for a COMPANY!
TEMETZU: Yeah, if ye plan to make some WWW pages or such. Nobody takes a homepage seriously if it's made by some crew...
JONETZU: But hey, could we play yet one more deathmatch?
DaRK FuCKeR: Yeah, we could!
TEMETZU: I could eat some bread first...
MIKAEL: Well, I'm probably not gonna play anymore, 'cause I've gotta visit Rauno soon...
DaRK FuCKeR: What's ye gonna do at him?
MIKAEL: Well, help him prepare the computing classes for the next week...
DaRK FuCKeR: Allrighty...
TEMETZU: I wish we too had computer classes already!!
MIKAEL: Well, next autumn you're gonna get to Rauno's computer classes and with BRAND NEW COMPUTERS!!
DaRK FuCKeR: Are they now buyin' new computers there??
BERGLUND: Yes, indeed! The municipality of Pielvaesi has now promised to buy modern multimedia Pentiums for Lietevesi junior high as well!
TEMETZU: Yeahh!! Multimedia and everthang!!
BERGLUND: Even the youth of small villages no longer deserve anything worse than Pentiums! With WINDOWS 95 and 3DFX VOODOO -
HENCCA: Hey dad, what's the program yar watchin' on the TV?
BERGLUND: They're interviewing media science professor Ala-Matola on the future of Internet and multimedia!
DaRK FuCKeR: Yeah, the future of the Internet!!
ALA-MATOLA: According to media science consensus, one Internet year corresponds to twenty human years.
ALA-MATOLA: The Internet of two or three years ago therefore has nothing to do with today's Internet, it is mere ancient history.
BERGLUND: Exactly! Focus on future and don't get stuck in the past! Intel's MMX processors -
MIKAEL: Shhh!!
ALA-MATOLA: We are living the time of simulation culture: according to Fidler, media will converge and synverge in a so-called mediamorphosis.
ALA-MATOLA: Over the next few years, new-media information content shall flood the cyberspace with coolness in a McLuhanian sense.
ALA-MATOLA: Institutions must respond this coolness challenge by cooling up their own state as well. The residents of virtual realities -
DaRK FuCKeR: I'm not gettin' at all what that chap's tawkin' aboot!!
HENCCA: Well, yar from some fuckin' Hautataipale and dunno nuffin' 'bout modern times -
TEMETZU: I'm not gettin' it at all either!!
BERGLUND: Right, he is indeed using quite difficult scientific university words...
JONETZU: But next autumn I've heard they're startin' a program for gamers at MTV3! With game reviews and all that!
DaRK FuCKeR: Yeah, now that sounds really great!! I'm sure a movin' picture shows ye much better what the games are like for real...
BERGLUND: It's good that television wakes up into modern times to serve the needs of today's youth as well!
DaRK FuCKeR: We should've had had a proggie like that already in the eighties, with all the new Sixtyfour games -
JONETZU: I don't reckon there was Sixtyfour back in the eighties?
DaRK FuCKeR: Whatta hell? It's been existin' for far more than ten years already!!
JONETZU: What are ye blabberin' there? Sixtyfour came in NINETYFOUR!!
MIKAEL: I think Kassu's now referring to GOMMANDORE sixtyfour and not Nintendo sixtyfour...
DaRK FuCKeR: Commodore sixtyfour, year -
BERGLUND: Our family never bought any Commandores! Nintendo offered a much superior consumer experience for the children.
JONETZU: Yeah, we had an eight-bit Nintendo too. And a sixteen-bit one after that...
TEMETZU: We only had a Sega at first -
HENCCA: Yeah, fuckin' Sega campers, ya never got new games nowhere!!
MIKAEL: We always bought those supercarts for the Nintendo, with like a hundred games at the same! There wasn't that kinda stuff for Sega!
TEMETZU: Well, I reckon there might've been, but we never knew aboot it -
MIKAEL: But the point here is that we had proper game consoles instead of Gommandores!
HENCCA: Yeah, one of our friends had a Gommandore, and it was so borin' to wait many minutes until the game loads up!!
JONETZU: Yeah, Nintendo was so much better than a computer back then!!
BERGLUND: Indeed! And the games were also of a much higher quality, as they were made by professionals instead of hobbyists...
MIKAEL: Yeah, indeed, proper TEAMS making them, instead of some lonely unemployed losers living in their mothers' backrooms...
TEMETZU: If there sometimes was a "company" makin' some Gommandore game, it was always actually just some puny CREW!!!
DaRK FuCKeR: Well, I actually liked many of 'em games anyway -
JONETZU: I'm sure ye did, 'cause ye dinna know aboot nuffin' better at the Hautataipale backwaters!!!
DaRK FuCKeR: Well, in Hautataipale the only folks who had Nintendos was Tim Pirinen and some other lower-graders...
MIKAEL: But I'm sure you got to play Super Mario at least sometimes?
DaRK FuCKeR: Not actually, 'cause Mega told us not to. And I wasna even that interested aboot it, 'cause we got more games for the computers -
MIKAEL: Super Mario is actually part of GENERAL KNOWLEGE! Your nostalgia is so pitiful if it doesn't even include Super Mario...
TEMETZU: Right that! Ye should go to MBnet and download a NES emulator there and then the ROMs for at least all the Marios and Zeldas...
DaRK FuCKeR: Well, maybe I should -
JONETZU: Hey, what's the sound from the hall?
TEMETZU: Somebody's coat just fell on the floor!! Even though nobody even touched it!!
DaRK FuCKeR: I maybe guess what's it aboot...
JONETZU: HEY FELLAS, LOOK AT THAT!!!
dArK sTuFfEr: WE ARE DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED BY THE BOTTOMLESS LAMENESS OF YOUR "CLAN", AND YOU THEREFORE DESERVE A PUNISHMENT!
HENCCA: Where in hell didya pop up from!?
dArK sTuFfEr: AS PITIFUL UNDERHUMANS, YOU WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ABOUT THE TOP GRADE OCCULTISM OF C00LeS WaReZ UNiON.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: YEAH, RIGHT! YA SHOULD'VE INVESTED ON REAL SKILLS AND FORGET YAR MISERABLE GAME-LAMIN'!
dArK sTuFfEr: WE HOPE THIS STRIKE SHALL MAKE YOU RESPECT OUR SUPERIORITY EVEN MORE THAN USUAL!!
dArK sTuFfEr: STRIKE FIRE, SKY-
DaRK FuCKeR: STAND THERE LIKE A WALL!
DaRK FuCKeR: STRIKE FIRE, SKYBIRD!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: GODDAMMIT!! YA HAD PREPARED FOR THIS!!
DaRK FuCKeR: STRIKE FIRE, SKYBIRD!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: STOP THAT!!!
DaRK FuCKeR: Getta hell outta our LAN, dammit, or y'all gonna get some higher-level spells straight on yer arses!!
dArK sTuFfEr: Maybe we should indeed leave. We have already lost this battle.
HENCCA: Phew man, ye just made three frags IRL!
JONETZU: I hope they don't respawn anymaw...
TEMETZU: I reckon we should prepare for that they might attack sometime later too...
MIKAEL: Yeah, they attacked our confirmation camp in the summer just like that too!
JONETZU: It might really be reasonable to learn to defend ourselves against that kinda stuff...
HENCCA: Couldya Kassu teach us yar magic tricks?
DaRK FuCKeR: Well, maybe..
TEMETZU: Ye could even get into our clan with that!
HENCCA: Yeah, and ye wouldn't even need to buy a faster modem, 'cause the magic stuff would like compensate for it...
DaRK FuCKeR: Yeah, maybe in that case I'd be quite happy to come in...
HENCCA: Well, welcome to CLAN ZERO then!!
DaRK FuCKeR: Yeahh!!!
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