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========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x81 =========

DaTE:     1996-11-09 aT 19:20

LoCATi0N: LiETEVESi sCH00L sPoRTS HaLL

pREsENT:  CWU m3mb4hz: 
          mR.mEgAsTuFf . DaRk FuCKeR . dArK sTuFFeR . DiCKiNSTASiA
          
          O'GASP m3mb4hz:
          pENARON . pUAVOX . aRHiPPA
             
          + hAll FULL oF LAmERz & ELiTEZ

===========================================================================

PENARON: Fuck, it got screwed again!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: And even at da same point. It ain't really showin' progress now -

PUAVOX: Did we already try the kinda boot with as much free baseram as possible -

PENARON: Baseram shouldn't matter at all, 'cause we're usin' PMode!

PUAVOX: Oh, yeah, right... could the problem be with the exepacker then?

PENARON: Well, in that cause it would've already shown up in our testruns -

PUAVOX: Did we test it already?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuck's sake, if ya doodz ain't even fuckin' tested da final version before enterin' it in da compo, we should really DISQUALIFY it!!

DiCKiNSTASiA: We ain't gonna disqualify this one now! The only decentish intro in the whole compo!!

dArK sTuFfEr: Indeed. It is worthwhile to use up some effort in order to make it functional.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, what if we show it just up to da screw-up point then? We've gotta get da introcompo to run JUST RIGHT NOW!!

DiCKiNSTASiA: Hey, we've still got the wildcompo afore it -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: ALL DA WILDS ARE DISQUALIALIFIED!!

DaRK FuCKeR: NO, THEY AIN'T NOT!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuck, whose idea was it in da first place have a fuckin' wildcompo!? Most little parties ain't got a wildcompo -

PENARON: Err, well, what if we debugged this on the compomachine for a while -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: FUCKIN' OUTTA DA QUESTION!

PENERON: Give us at least fuckin' five minutes? Or fifteen?

DiCKiNSTASiA: If we showed the wildcompo entries now and y'all could debug it in the meanwhile...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I OPPOSE YAR IDEA!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: DiCKiNSTASiA, you can go set up the video projector and cassette recorder for the compo.

DiCKiNSTASiA: Okey!

PENARON: I s'pose y'all ain't got the Watcom C compiler on this computer?

DaRK FuCKeR: Nope...

PUAVOX: I can go pack the Watcom directory of my computer onto floppies..

PENARON: Don't forget the subdirs then!

PUAVOX: Yeah, yeah, got it...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I mean whatta fuck, ya've made a 64K-INTRO with fuckin' CEE??

PENARON: Yeah...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: No problem ya got problems like that!! We could've disqualified da prod if we had known it's made with fuckin' C!

myXTer: Weren't Penaron's earlier demos and intros just normal pure asm?

PENARON: Well, we reckoned it'd be faster to make with C, and Watcom can already optimize the code better than an average asm coder...

dArK sTuFfEr: In my opinion, the regression of the PC scene from low-level languages to high-level languages is a sign of apocalyptic times.

dArK sTuFfEr: Especially in intros, where the C libraries increase the file size by several kilobytes -

PENARON: But wasn't yar own Abduction demo in some fuckin' Turbo Pascal, dammit? First move to asm, then brag -

myXTer: It actually was asm. We did release one Turbo Pascal demo earlier...

PENARON: Turbo Pascal is like, if ya make a demo with it, ya should be thrown outta scene right away!!

dArK sTuFfEr: I might accept Pascal and C as a beginners' langage before moving to machine code, but the opposite direction is the pinnacle of lameness.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, I don't think we're at da real pinnacle yet! Just wait until people start makin' demos for da Quake-lamer VOODOO CARDS!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: Ehkä sekään ei tule olemaan vielä huipennus, vaan PC-skene lameutuu vielä suorastaan mielikuvituksellisen käsittämättömillä tavoilla -

DaRK FuCKeR: Err, wouldn't it be just great that there's the kinda magickal expansion cards for the PC, for doin' Voodoo stuff and -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: THERE AIN'T NO FUCKIN MAGICK IN VOODOO CARDS, DAMMIT!!

dArK sTuFfEr: Indeed. I assume you have misunderstood the functional principles of the card. 3D accelerators accelerate the same algorithms -

DaRK FuCKeR: Why's it called Voodoo then? I always reckoned -

DiCKiNSTASiA: Hey dudes, what were we s'posed to use between the entries to show the entry names?

dArK sTuFfEr: With Scala on the Amiga, just like in the music and graphics compos.

DiCKiNSTASiA: But there's just one video input in this projector...

dArK sTuFfEr: In that case, we will have to switch the video cable between the Amiga and the VCR.

PUAVOX: But wouldn't it be easier to plug some peecee in the VGA input and use it to show the entry names?

dArK sTuFfEr: This would be substandard in my opinion. Scala is aesthetically superior to -

DiCKiNSTASiA: Fuck's sake, ye can be the one who hassles with the cables then!!

dArK sTuFfEr: I have prepared myself for it.

DiCKiNSTASiA: Okay. But couldye now put that "compo is starting" message in yer Amiga and plug it to the beamer?

dArK sTuFfEr: This would be indeed reasonable.

KIMBLE: So, it's "about to begin" now.

MARACK: How long's it gonna take for real?

dArK sTuFfEr: Five minutes, at the maximum.

MARACK: Allrighty, I'm gonna visit the outside and shout to the folks there so they'd get in...

dArK sTuFfEr: Allright. We shall wait for five minutes and then commence the compo.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: It's fuckin' useless to wait a single minute! If someone misses a compo because of boozin' outside, then let him miss it, dammit!!

dArK sTuFfEr: A period of five minutes between the message and the competition would be entirely acceptable for all parties.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuck's sake, let's keep that then. But the introcompo's gonna start straight after it, period!

MARACK: Couldn't we have like five minutes of pause there too...?

dArK sTuFfEr: There are only twelve wild and intro competition entries in total. Anyone can watch them without a pause.

DiCKiNSTASiA: On the other hand, the folks sure are used to a smokin' break between compos...

MARACK: Why would y'all show them all in one piece anyway? We've got the rest of the night left...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, we actually ain't got da rest of da night!

MARACK: Oh?

DiCKiNSTASiA: They've been all in panic aboot their headmaster comin' in and stoppin' the party!!

dArK sTuFfEr: The probability of this is indeed considerably high considering the broken window of the exterior door, for instance.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Err, well, I guess all da people are in who wanna see da videos? Just press play already, dammit.

CENTURION: FUCK'S SAKE what a pile of embarrassin' SHIT!!!

TECHNOFALCON: SHIIITT!!!

BREADER: Uhuhuhuhuh...

CENTURION: SHIIIIT!!!!

UEBERRASCHUNG: SHIIIIT!!!!

CENTURION: THIS IS DA BEST!!!

UEBERRASCHUNG: H0RiG0!!! H0RiG0!!!

CENTURION: DA BEZZT!!!

BREADER: Uhuhuhuh...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Now put there that da intros are gonna start NOW and not soon!!

DiCKiNSTASiA: Did the O'Gasp guys already get their intro to work?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah...

DaRK FuCKeR: Could we test the beamer's VGA input just one more time?

DiCKiNSTASiA: Yeah, although I don't reckon it's broken...

DaRK FuCKeR: Seems to be workin'...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: AIN'T YA FUCKIN' GOT EYES IN YER HEAD!? Da colors are all screwed up!!

DaRK FuCKeR: Oh, yeah, so it seems...

dArK sTuFfEr: Is the cable properly plugged in?

DiCKiNSTASiA: Yeah, it is...

dArK sTuFfEr: In that case, we shall have to use some more time to solve the problem.

DaRK FuCKeR: Would I like write the same message to QEdit for that time?

dArK sTuFfEr: Be my guest.

DiCKiNSTASiA: Hey, ye should rather use the 40x25 mode so they can read it better...

DaRK FuCKeR: Oh, yeah, right...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: And hurry up with that fixin' then! We're gonna start da compo in five minutes NO MATTER HOW SCREWED DA COLORS ARE DAMMIT!!

DiCKiNSTASiA: Okey, we're tryin'...

...

TENHUNEN: Is it now your first time at this kind of education event?

TOMPPA: Ye mean whadda fuckin' education event...?

EERO: I don't reckon they've had sump'n like this anytime afore...

TENHUNEN: Yes, these kind of events surely must be a totally new thing here in the backwaters of Lietevesi!

TOMPPA: This is the Lietevesi downtown, and no fuckin' backwaters...

EERO: The chaps who make it happen are from Hautataipale, that's backwaters!!

TENHUNEN: But you don't actually think this is an educational event? So, what are people doing here then?

EERO: Well, maybe mostly boozin' outside and fryin' sausage...

TOMPPA: But inside here there's a kinda Pentium disco on.

TENHUNEN: Oh, a disco you say! A Pentium disco! But there ain't so many girls here...

EERO: They don't need no girls, 'cause they've got their goddamn Pentiums...

UEBERRASCHUNG: Uhuhuhuh, PENTIUM DISCO!! That was a good one!!

CENTURION: Uhuh, I got an idea: take a Pentium from some lamer and go to DANCE with it??

UEBERRASCHUNG: Yeah!

CENTURION: Hey dood there, is this a Pentium?

FOOTMAN: Naw, it's a 486...

CENTURION: Okay...

CENTURION: Hey, ya little guys there, is this a Pentium?

HENCCA: It sure in hell is! A 133 MHz processor, an SVGA screen, a Voodoo card -

MIKAEL: HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE??? HANDS OFF!!

HENCCA: HE'S STEALIN' OUR PENTIUM!!!

MIKAEL: CATCH THE THIEF!! CATCH THE THIEF!!

HENCCA: CALL THE COPS!!! FUCKIN' CWU FAGS, CALL THE COPS NOW!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: WE FUCKIN' WON'T! WE'RE GONNA START SHOWIN' DA INTROZ JUST NOW!!

DiCKiNSTASiA: The colors be still broken'...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: WE AIN'T GONNA WAIT ONE MORE MINUTE! START DA COMPO NOW!

ZAP!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Hey, whadda fuck?

dArK sTuFfEr: It seems that my Amiga suddenly powered off.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Then fuckin' switch it back on?

dArK sTuFfEr: It seems the power source is broken. The PC plugged in the next socket is still on.

 Fuck's sake, should've guessed...

== Katto ==

HENCCA: HANDS OFF OUR PENTIUM DAMMIT!!

CENTURION: Allright...

MIKAEL: HE FUCKIN' DROPPED IT OFF THE ROOF FOR REAL!! OUR EXPENSIVE PENTIUM!!

HENCCA: If any part got broken there, the CWU clowns are gonna hafta BUY US AN ENTIRELY NEW PENTIUM DAMMIT!!

MIKAEL: I think there was something else falling off the roof too...

== Partyhalli ==

TEMETZU: Hey, why can't I get to the Internet anymaw?? FIX THE INTERNET NOW!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: WE FUCKIN' WONT'! DA COMPO STARTS NOW!!

DiCKiNSTASiA: Here's the entry sheets for ye, write up the entry names from there...

DaRK FuCKeR: Allrighty...

TEMETZU: YER GONNA FIX OUR INTERNET OR WE'RE GONNA GET OUT!! AND WE AIN'T GONNA WATCH NONE OF YER DEMOS OR NUFFIN'!!

HENCCA: AND YA MUST FIX OUR PENTIUM TOO!!

TEMETZU: What happened??

HENCCA: Them fuckin' scene morons CLIMBED ON THE ROOF WITH IT AND DROPPED IT FROM THERE!!

TEMETZU: For THE FUCK'S SAKE what a gang!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: NOW SHUT UP THERE MORONS AND WATCH DA SCREEN!! DA COMPO'S STARTIN'!!!

<produ>

TECHNOFALCON: SHIIIT!!

AARNE: I don't use swearwords very often, but now it could be a good time for it...

AARNE: I mean, WHATTA GODDAMN HELL HAS BEEN GOING ON AROOND HERE!?!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuckin' hell, da headmaster's right there... but let's run da compos just normally no matter what he did!

DaRK FuCKeR: Allrighty!

AARNE: HEAR ME NOW, I'VE GOT AN ANNOUNCEMENT -

AARNE: GET RID OF THAT BLOOPIN' NOW!! DIDYALL HEAR ME, GODDAMMIT!?!!

UEBERRASCHUNG: Bwahahah... is that da headmaster of this school now??

CENTURION: These small parties ALWAYS follow da same pattern!! The headmaster's like a stock character, like Santa Claus or sumthing...

UEBERRASCHUNG: Uhuhuhuh!

ZAP!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Whatta fuck?

AARNE: I guess y'all hear me better now that the gear's unplugged...

AARNE: So, here's AN ANNOUNCEMENT FOR EVERYONE PRESENT!

AARNE: THESE SO-CALLED "MEETING AND EDUCATION DAYS OF YOUR COMPUTER HOBBISTS" ARE NOW CANCELLED DOE TO ALCOHOL USE AND MISBEHAVIOUR!

AARNE: THE DISMANTLING OF THE EVENT STARTS IMMEDIATELY!

AARNE: SO, PUT 'EM COMPUTERS AND BOOZEBOTTLES IN YER BACKPACKS RIGHT NOW AND GET TO THE DEEPEST GODDAMN HELL OUTTA HERE!!

AARNE: AND NEVER COME TO LIETEVESI AGAIN!! GODDAMN BLOODY HELL!!

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