C00LeS WaReZ UNiON MeMOiRS: cHApTER #0x7A

========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x7A =========

DaTE:     1996-08-27 aT 13:00

LoCATi0N: LiEtEvESi tOWnhOuSe

PrESeNT:  OSMO "OH7MO" KÄRKKÄiNEN
          JUSSi "wArlord" HiRVoNEN -- dA oNLy cWU MEMbA pReZENT
          AARNE LiPPONEN -- oUr sChOOL'S hEaDmAstEr
          KERTTU KoRHoNEN -- oNE oF oUR tEEChAAZ
          RiiTTA VARTiAiNEN -- sOme RAnDom ToWN OFFicE pErSoN
          MARTTi KÄÄRiÄINEN -- sOmE ReDnEck pOLiTiCiAN
          oLAVi WUoREnHEiMo -- dA LeADeR oF LiETEVeSi          
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OH7MO: It's gonna go just fine. Yer from a Centre-Party family, and there's also Aarne and Kerttu there supportin' the event.

OH7MO: Ye can also tawk in such a way that the grown-ups get it too, and ain't surely gonna slip away anythang aboot some Satan-worships...

OH7MO: So, if Martti Kääriäinen or somebody ever asks sump'n aboot it, ye surely know how to deny it...

RIITTA: Governor and Martti be comin' right soon, I guess. They're always a bit late from every meetin', reckonin' they're some big bosses...

MARTTI: All the present grown-ups seem to know each other already, but not everbody's met this here boy yet, I reckon.

wArlord: I guess I know each of y'all from somewhere, seen in the paper and heard from my dad...

MARTTI: The topic of this unofficial hearin' is some event which Osmo Kärkkäinen's gonna hold in the Junior High School premises.

OH7MO: This would be sump'n called "The national meeting and education days of young computer hobbyists".

OH7MO: The actual organisers of the event would be Jussi Hirvonen and other Hautataipale computer boys, but I'd have the main responsibility.

OH7MO: And Aarne Lipponen would of course have the responsibility of the school and its premises.

OH7MO: The nature of the event is that youngsters come from all over Finland with their computers here to Lietevesi to spend a weekend.

OH7MO: The school's sports hall will be equipped with tables and chairs and electric cords, and some classrooms will be reserved for sleeping.

OH7MO: The youngsters will be charged a couple of tens of marks each for entrance fee, to cover the costs with -

MARTTI: Well, that sounds quite a heap like what that son of Rytkönen and some other schoolboys tried to organise here a few years ago.

MARTTI: Back then, we refused to give them the school premises. I guess mister headmaster can confirm this?

AARNE: Well, back then we didn't believe that they could organise an event like that without boozin' and fightin'...

AARNE: Some time earlier that year there'd been a news article in Iltalehti aboot a computer event that went all hullabaloo because of alcohol.

OH7MO: Yeah, 'twas that one. I heard they organised it nevertheless in some cowshed, at Rytkönens I guess.

MARTTI: The essential question here and now is that how d'y'all be gonna make sure that the event stays in order and discipline.

AARNE: Well, we've already agreed that the event's gonna be totally alcohol-free!

wArlord: Yeah, even a small drop and yer out! And the proper security control in place all the time...

OH7MO: There was the Assembly computer fair in Helsinki some time ago, if y'all noticed it in papers and TV... it's also totally alcohol-free.

wArlord: Yeah, I did. There's a very strict alcohol policy there. Yer ticket would get ripped off if even yer breath smelled like booze...

MARTTI: But I don't believe at all that youngsters would've lost their cravin' for alcohol!

MARTTI: There's just all kindsa new evils on top of it... ye just hafta recall all the recent crimes from the Hautataipale boys!

MARTTI: Lemme read some of my newspaper clips, so y'all know what kinda rascals we're tawkin' aboot.

MARTTI: Perä-Savo News, Wednesday 1.3.1995: "Schoolboys hid from police in Lietevesi".

MARTTI: Savon Sanomat, Saturday 1.7.1995: "Schoolboys stole businessman's speedboat in Lietevesi".

AARNE: Well, boys are boys. I guess everbody of us has done sump'n in their youth -

MARTTI: Perä-Savo News, Friday 5.7.1996: "Satan worship and witchcraft at confirmation camp".

MARTTI: And there's also been some opinion pieces in the paper aboot youngster's Satan-worship, especially from priest Veikko Koljonen -

WUORENHEIMO: Let us keep in mind now that opinion pieces are no match to actual researched articles.

MARTTI: But anyway, they give some clue aboot what's goin' on under the surface! It's just the tip of the iceberg -

KERTTU: Witchcraft or even Satan-worship ain't new at all in Lietevesi. There's just been a few generations when it was a bit more hidden.

KERTTU: I recall from my own wartime childhood that Yrjö Koljonen, the sage from Vääräpää, had dug up some skulls for his witchcraft on graveyard...

KERTTU: All the cows in Hautataipale had stopped givin' milk because of that witchcraft.

KERTTU: The grown-ups then gathered some folks together and went to wake up Vornas-Heikki who was then able to undo the curse.

KERTTU: There's even some ethnological research aboot this. Witchcraft and magic were sitll everyday stuff in Lietevesi in the wartime -

MARTTI: But luckily it ain't anymaw! And especially youngsters stopped goin' into that, thanks to God for that!!

AARNE: Well, youngsters did rebel quite a heap against the church back in the sixties and seventies even...

AARNE: So, I don't reckon the Satan-worship that's in the news is anything else than the same rebellion as back then.

MARTTI: But the rebels were all some trash youth! Proper boys only did boozin', fightin' and dancin' -

WUORENHEIMO: Well, what about not bringing this down to party politics, or we wouldn't get forward in our issue at all.

WUORENHEIMO: I wouldn't be so worried about youth shenanigans, as they have a decades-long tradition in Lietevesi.

WUORENHEIMO: What is more worrying in this issue is how computers threaten the traditional Lietevesi way of life.

OH7MO: Well, if it ever threatens it, then wouldna it do it regardless of whether we have the computer event or not?

WUORENHEIMO: But it is now about principle. Do we want to give the signal that this kind of youth culture is welcome to Lietevesi?

MARTTI: I now agree completely with governor Wuorenheimo! If y'all recall, industrialist Reijo Pirinen was also against this -

AARNE: We've got long traditions in Lietevesi aboot tryin' all kindsa new stuff. The traditional Lietevesi village-idiocy...

RIITTA: Pirinen dinna know nuffin' aboot our village-idiocy, 'cause he was from Juankoski! No wonder he stood against it...

WUORENHEIMO: But let us now keep in mind that our municipal council has always been a kind of counterbalance to the village idiots.

WUORENHEIMO: It has challenged all the new technologies when they became village-idiot hobbies: radios in the turn of the century, then cars...

OH7MO: But dinna the council already challenge the computers back in the eighties, when the radio club became a computer club?

OH7MO: Besides, the council's already even given the money to connectin' the school's computer class permanently to the Internet...

WUORENHEIMO: Well, that decision was between buying foreign equipment and using local know-how.

WUORENHEIMO: The present decision now is about whether we want to support a potentially questionable youth activity.

AARNE: Don't forget 'em entrance fees there. All the expenses are gonna be covered by 'em.

MARTTI: Well, I still reckon that the modern Satan-worship is completely different from some age-old witchcrafts.

MARTTI: It's a kinda fad the foreign countries be spreadin' to our youth on the Internet, in order to weaken our military...

MARTTI: This is also the reason why I voted against the Internet at the last meetin', even though other Centre-Party members betrayed me there.

MARTTI: All the youth fads and bomb-makin' instructions... Ye surely get information from the Internet, but is it all good to our youth?

WUORENHEIMO: I am the kind of old-fashioned folk-enlightenment person who never thinks information is bad for the youth!

WUORENHEIMO: If you go to read old newspapers from microfilm, you see that opinion columns have always had this discussion going on.

WUORENHEIMO: The one side supports knowledge and civilisation, and the other side has all the farmers and revivalists against it...

KERTTU: I can confirm governor's view on this, as somebody who's been studyin' the newspaper history of Backwards Savonia!

WUORENHEIMO: But, to return to my earlier question: are computers a threat to the Lietevesi way of life? If we ignore the information aspect.

MARTTI: At least some youngsters spend all their free time on playin' the computer. They don't fish or do sports like they used to...

AARNE: They were worried aboot that back when they youngsters' moped culture came in... until that they'd been ridin' bicycles.

AARNE: But the moped boys then became talented mechanics who took their place in Lietevesi life as part of the tradition...

MARTTI: Well, the Finnish military fitness nevertheless declined when the youngsters started to ride mopeds!

MARTTI: Likewise, it might be that computers starve the modern youngsters' mind skills, if the computers know everthang for 'em.

WUORENHEIMO: Exactly. And the fact that motor and radio technologies adapted to the Lietevesi tradition does not ensure that computers would.

WUORENHEIMO: How is the computer event in question going to prevent these potential risk factors?

wArlord: Well, we're all aware that game-playin' might cause that kinda mind-starvin'. But our event's not gonna have any games!

wArlord: We're gonna concentrate on where ye need the most brains and know-how. Like programmin', and havin' competitions aboot it...

OH7MO: This is what we considered when planning our school's computer curriculum and computer club.

OH7MO: Computers be gettin' ever more brainless, now that they've got all the Windows and stuff... we never use Windows in my classes!

OH7MO: We concentrate on the technology that's stayed trustable, and whose effects to people we know aboot.

WUORENHEIMO: Sounds like reasonable precautions. But what if computers end up being profoundly incompatible with the Lietevesi tradition?

KERTTU: Just a couple of years ago, I was also very suspicious aboot computers and what they're gonna bring with 'em...

KERTTU: But now that I've been lookin' at the Hautataipale boys, I'm become convinced that if someone's gonna save Lietevesi, it's them!

MARTTI: We've already lost Lietevesi, as it's gonna lose its independent municipal status -

KERTTU: Lietevesi traditions are hundreds of years older than the Lietevesi municipality! They ain't likely to disappear even if the municipality does.

KERTTU: Maybe the most impressive example of this are the Lietevesi sages and their chain of tradition -

MARTTI: The sage chain died when Vornas-Heikki did!! Besides, some old-age sages have nuffin' to do with -

MARTTI: I don't know who's the steamhead governor's been listenin' to, but Vornanen's grave is right there in the churchyard -

WUORENHEIMO: Yes, it is there. And they even had the funeral back in forty-six, but Vornanen was not in the coffin.

MARTTI: I've heard the same gossips many times, but I'm a decent-minded who doesn't believe it!

MARTTI: Besides, Vornanen was like a hundred years old even back then! How could he stay alive for forty more years -

AARNE: We've been tryin' to keep this secret in quite small circles and even to ridicule everbody who spreads the information.

AARNE: But speakin' of how Heikki's been able to stay alive: he's in hibernation most of his time, like a bear in winter.

WUORENHEIMO: Yes. This is why I just decided that it's the time to reveal the secret of Vornas-Heikki.

MARTTI: Ye picked quite a time for that revelation, right. Some computer-related meetin' that ain't got nuffin' to do with sages -

KERTTU: I would say that it has something to do with them, and quite a lot actually.

OH7MO: Well, these technology clubs at school, like electricity and radio clubs, have always considered themselves part of a longer tradition.

OH7MO: This tradition started back in the days of Vääräpää sage schools, and then carried on in Lietevesi folkschool and middle school...

KERTTU: We should also recall, that many of the first teachers in Lietevesi schools were actual sages, like Vornas-Kalle!

KERTTU: The sage side just hid itself deeper, decade by decade, but it's still always been there.

WUORENHEIMO: I recall that Pentecostals were quite vocal against the school's "folk traditions club" back in the 1910s...

KERTTU: Exactly. Then, they founded "The Patriotic Electricity Club" that was superficially as far as possible from it...

KERTTU: But the "patriotism" in the name was actually aboot that sage tradition and not any national defence thangs.

AARNE: After the first electricity club, on the other hand, there weren't many livin' sages left leadin' the club.

KERTTU: Yeah, Vornas-Heikki has long been the last sage who masters the tradition.

OH7MO: Heikki's been wantin' for many decades already to transfer the traditions on to some new sage generation...

OH7MO: Back in the seventies he contacted Lietevesi Middle-school Radio Club that I was kinda leadin' at the time.

OH7MO: But then he noticed that we were concentrated on electronics far too much and basically didn't care at all aboot the magicks.

OH7MO: Then he reckoned aboot waitin' a couple of decades more and then try again...

wArlord: Well, yeah, he contacted us last autumn. Then he gave us some exercises to do and asked to get awaken once we're done with 'em.

MARTTI: Listen to me now, I don't believe in yer stuff at all, no matter how Centre-Party the boy was who's tellin' 'em!!

KERTTU: The confirmation-schoolers saw some lightnings back then, didn't they. I'm sure that's from y'all doin' the exercises, right?

wArlord: Yeah, might've been, even though we'd mostly been practicin' them elsewhere.

KERTTU: But they were true proper Lietevesi traditional spells and not Satan-worship?

wArlord: Yeah, they absolutely were naw Satan-woship! We've always been respectin' the tradition!

WUORENHEIMO: The fact that Vornas-Heikki has chosen you was new information for me.

WUORENHEIMO: But I just wish to say that if Vornas-Heikki is on your side, then I am also!

MARTTI: But I don't believe at all in what y'all's be tawkin'! I reckon yer all lost yer minds!

MARTTI: I guess Jussi did some Satan-worship trick he's learned on the Internet, to get the other folks here all screwed up...

MARTTI: Besides, yer master Satan-worshipper is the Kuusinens' communist boy, ain't he!? It might've just as well been some communist -

wArlord: Kuusinen ain't got no special status in our crew, at least anymaw! I'm the nominal leader now, and everbody else follows me!

WUORENHEIMO: But what about going forward? Even if Kääriäinen will take some time to adopt the new information...

wArlord: We'd need to borrow a video projector and some proper sound-playback equipment.

wArlord: Well, these modern-day computer events are all about sump'n called demos, like short films made with a computer.

OH7MO: So, the beamer should be the kind that connects to the computer. So it should have some VGA interface in addition to normal video interface...

OH7MO: I'm sure we can build the sound playback system on our own, but a quality video projector we would need from elsewhere.

WUORENHEIMO: Sounds quite peculiar, but I believe that it has something to do with what you're going to do.

MARTTI: But I don't! I'm sure y'all gonna use it to show some Satanic hypnosis films-

AARNE: There's also gonna be some costs from heatin' and electricity, but naw worry aboot that, we only need to pay them after the event...

WUORENHEIMO: So, the video projector is now the only thing you actually require from the municipality?

WUORENHEIMO: I just don't think the municipality owns a single video projector. We would have a film projector...

wArlord: Well, a film projector unfortunately ain't suitable for our purpose now.

OH7MO: There might be some beamers at the neighborin' towns. Maybe they'd rent one for us...

WUORENHEIMO: So, Kärkkäinen will take the responsibility for finding the projector, once the council has accepted the event and its costs.

MARTTI: We can't decide nuffin' to them there dates! We're gonna be Pielavesi citizens at the time...

wArlord: Well, then there's this big event in Denmark at the same time, and many of the Finnish masters are gonna be there then...

RIITTA: So, y'all gonna get the best computer masters of Finland, right here in Lietevesi!

wArlord: Well, that's what we've been plannin'... that "national education days" actually means national!

wArlord: It might be a bit too early. We should give the makers enuff time to prepare for it...

AARNE: If it were at the start of November, then we might be able to move the autumn holiday to cover it...

MARTTI: Y'all hafta make another initiative to the council if y'all wanna move the autumn holiday!!

WUORENHEIMO: Hear me now, I need to move to another meeting now. Are we finished with discussing this issue?

MARTTI: I also reckon we've been tawkin' quite enuff aboot this. There's gonna be council meetin' on Thursday, and we're gonna decide it then.

wArlord: 'Twas quite a quarrel there, but we finally got the stuff cleared for 'em!

wArlord: Yeah, I'm gonna tawk aboot this to the rest of the crew as soon as possible.

OH7MO: I guess y'all should also wake Vornas-Heikki up as soon as possible, now that the secret's been revealed...