««- · CWU MEMOiRS 0x78 · -»»
========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x78 =========
DaTE: 1996-08-17 aT 18:02
LoCATi0N: HeLSiNkI FaIR cEnTEr (aSSEmBLY '96 pArTYpLACE)
PrESeNT: mR.mEgAsTuFf / C00LeS WaReZ UNiON
wArlord / C00LeS WaReZ UNiON
cYbOgAnG mEmBAHZ (dR.cRaXon, cApTaIn hExMaRk, cHRoMeBuRn)
+ TONZ oF LaMERZ!
===========================================================================
== Käytävä ==
wArlord: Howdy-ho.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay, so ya got here at last.
wArlord: Yeah... ofcoz I could've taken the night train, but we had to be spreadin' liquid fertiliser on the fields for the whole day -
mR.mEgAsTuFf: FUCKIN' SHUT UP! DON'T YA GET THAT WE'RE IN HELSINKI!
wArlord: ...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, this one here's wArlord of C00LeS WaReZ UNiON ...
dR.cRaXoN: Fuckin' yuck whatta scatsmellin' hillbilly!! Even' wearin' some fuckin' baseball cap...
cApTaIn hExMaRk: And who's just been fuckin' SPREADING SOME LIQUID FERTILIZER ON A FIELD with some TRACTOR, this ain't fuckin' REAL!!
dR.cRaXoN: Didya get what he was yackin?? And he was yackin' sumthing like that??
cApTaIn hExMaRk: Yeah, I actually somehow got what he said.
dR.cRaXoN: And fuckin' Mega who's been livin' in THAT kinda tractor hell is plannin' to move to Helsinki next year, I'm so embarrassed -
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Those doods there are dR.cRaXoN, cHrOmEbUrN and cApTaIn hExMaRk of CYBOGANG...
wArlord: Oh, right, yer cousin's crew.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Amiga introcompo just ended a minute ago.
wArlord: Right, so I dinna manage to see nuffin' of it then.
dR.cRaXoN: Da compoprodz been all quite shitty after da SCENE DIED back in ninety-two!!!
wArlord: Right.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Next up would be da PC introcompo, in like half an hour or so. I guess there might be some better prodz there.
dR.cRaXoN: Who cares 'bout lookin' at some fuckin PC intros from some hillbilly crewz!! Let's get back to booze -
cApTaIn hExMaRk: Shouldn't we check out that compo too, so we'd get some use for our daytickets?
dR.cRaXoN: We got these daytickets FOR FREE!! Just for ya rednecks so that ya don't imagine we'd actually pay money for gettin' in...
WALORD: But I've just gotta say that everthang's so over-the-top here at Assembly, compared to Juhla or Abduction!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, it's quite big, right...
wArlord: All kinda sales tables and everthang! No wonder everbody's been complainin' aboot the shit havin' gotten commercial...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah...
dR.cRaXoN: What did he say?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: He was wonderin' 'bout those sales tables here...
dR.cRaXoN: Ain't he fuckin' visited Helsinki B4!? It's all fuckin' normal here that there's doodz everyplace sellin' some shit!!
cHrOmEbUrN: And it ain't even real business' goin on here, just sceners at tables and no real companies. There's some Lizardking CDs bein' sold -
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, actually ther's at least a MIKROBITTI table and there's a fuckin' CARROLS...
dR.cRaXoN: Fuckin' countrymoron, d'ya think Mikrobitti and Carrols are some fuckin' cyber-megacorps, dammit!?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I didn't say th-
cHrOmEbUrN: If there was some Microsoft stand here, or Coca-Cola, or OCP, then ya could talk a bit 'bout bein' commercial!!
wArlord: But could we check out the main hall now? I could toss my backpack someplace at the same...
dR.cRaXoN: What did he say?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: That we could visit da main hall...
dR.cRaXoN: Okay then dammit, let's fuckin' break our ears one more time.
== Päähalli ==
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Quake... Porn... IRC...
wArlord: Windows... DOS... Porn... DOS edit... Quake...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fast Tracker two... Porn... Quake... DOS...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Oh, there's even one Amiga! ... DOS... Quake... some effect...
wArlord: IRC... Another IRC... DOS edit... Deluxe Paint...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: THERE'S FUCKIN' QUAKE AND PORN ON ALMOST EVERY SCREEN HERE!! AND A BIT OF IRC IN BETWEEN!!!
wArlord: Yeah, it's one fuckin' hell -
mR.mEgAsTuFf: WHAT DIDYA SAY, NOT HEARIN' YA IN THIS NOISE!?!
wArlord: Dinna say nuffin' important -
mR.mEgAsTuFf: GET AWAY FROM THOSE BIG BOXES AND SAY IT THEN, DAMMIT!!!
wArlord: Yeah, the volumes here be straight from hell.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Right, ya can't mostly even talk normally to da dood next to ya, need to use IRC...
cHrOmEbUrN: I think it's totally cyber to IRC to da dood next to ya. Who da fuck would use vocal cords if there's a more modern alternative?
wArlord: But we did see it on this summer's Abduction too. To most of the folks it was just games, IRC and porn-watchin'...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And porn-tradin'.
dR.cRaXoN: Weren't they copyparties to begin with...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But da old copyparties never had fixed internet connections!!
wArlord: Yeah, fixed internets spoil everthang at parties.
cApTaIn hExMaRk: It's miserable, right, some kidz comin' here who can't get to a fixed internet connection nowhere else...
cApTaIn hExMaRk: And then they spend da whole party on da fuckin' net, wankin' at some porn servers!!
dR.cRaXoN: Yeah, they should make da rule that nobody from outside Ring Three would get to Helsinki parties.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Hey, come on, even most Helsinkians don't have a fixed internet -
dR.cRaXoN: Fuck's sake, Helsinkians can go to some Kirjakaapeli anytime, and use da internet there!! There ain't places like that in da countryside!!
wArlord: Well, we've actually got fixed internets even in Backwards Savonia -
dR.cRaXoN: What's that country-babble there again, ya fuckin' tractorjerk!?
wArlord: Apologies, I just wanted to remind you Helsinki gentlemen that there are fixed internet connections even in sparsely populated areas!
dR.cRaXoN: Yeah, right, some miserably shitty kludges that Mega's been zealin' to me 'bout, and nuffin' like real optic cables!!
cApTaIn hExMaRk: Yeah, must be made of some cowdung and tractor tires, da "fixed internets" of yars... bwahahahah!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Err, wArlord, as I said ya shouldn't try to brag to some Helsinki crews 'bout that microwave link of ours...
wArlord: Yeah, I kinda figured that out already, dammit.
cApTaIn hExMaRk: The PC introcompo's startin' right now.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Allright, let's get to da upstairs grandstand to see it.
wArlord: So, there's a separate grandstand even! Good then that we don't hafta peek from behind the computes, like at other parties...
== Katsomo ==
wArlord: Whatta hell, why are them folks there just' goin' on with their game, even when the compo's startin'?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: D'ya think they'd actually care 'bout anything else than playin' their game?
wArlord: Well, they've actually come to a demoparty, so I reckon they might be interested in sump'n else too -
mR.mEgAsTuFf: There's more and more people at parties who mostly come there for da fixed net.
cHrOmEbUrN: Yeah, and the LAN...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But hold on, I'm gonna shout at 'em...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: RID DA FUCKIN' QUAKE DOWN THERE!!
dr.TREmolo: YEAH, DAMMIT!!!
ELECTRON: AND THE FLASHIN' LIGHT ON TABLE D!!!
dr.TREmolo: AND FUCKIN' MUTE DA SPEAKER THAT'S PLAYIN' THE FUCKIN' SPACEMAN!!!
WHaLERiDER: THERE'S ONE MORE QUAKE AT DA BACK OF DA HALL!! FUCKIN' QUIT IT!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: EVERY FUCKIN' DUKE, DOOM AND KUKE, TO HELL WITH ALL OF 'EM NOW!!!
wArlord: Yeah, guess we're gettin' to start soon.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: It'd be better if they just switched off all da electricity from da main hall, so we dinna hafta shout at 'em...
wArlord: Fuck's sake, Halcyon first!! We're havin' to get hypnotised right at the start.
cApTaIn hExMaRk: Whaddya mean hypnotized...?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: They've been havin' da kinda noise shit in their prodz that fuck's yar brain 'round...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But this one's actually got quite bland mainstream fx and no hypnosis noise.
dR.cRaXoN: Whadda fuckin' hypnosis noise? Again some fuckin' hillbilly stuff they're tryin' to beat Helsinkians with...
cHrOmEbUrN: Yeah, ain't soundin' cyber at all.
...
wArlord: There's quite good light fx here...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah.
cApTaIn hExMaRk: That water fx is right cool!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, Eufrosyne's gonna win for that water fx, no need to even check out da other introz.
...
dR.cRaXoN: Is this fuckin' Roottori some redneck crew!? Who'd make intro to some PC textmode anywhee else than da countryside!?
wArlord: I reckon it was quite good for the textmode...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuck's sake, some colorblind monkeys been choosin' da ANSI colors there!! Even da textmode fire by dArK sTuFfEr was way prettier!!
dR.cRaXoN: I'm outta here for booze NOW!! I don't fuckin' wanna see redneck intros or some cowdung-smellin' hillbillies dammit!!
cApTaIn hExMaRk: Yeah, seems like quite a shitty compo. And Eufrosyne's gonna win with their water fx anyway.
cHrOmEbUrN: Yeah, let's go. At least there's some proper cyberpeople there.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay, see ya at Boozembly then.
cApTaIn hExMaRk: Yeah, see ya.
== Käytävä ==
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Whatta fuck, have they been sittin' at da Mikrobitti table for da whole compo???
wArlord: There's the MBnet chat on every screen...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Right! As if it wasn't lame enuff to come to a party to play some Quake or Doom, there's people CHATTIN' ON DA MBNET WHEN THERE'S COMPOS ON!!!
PENARON: Right, fuckin' hell, THIS IS GOTTA BE THE NEW WORLD RECORD OF LAMENESS!!
wArlord: Wouldna say so, after all there's some morons in this world who chat on the MTV3 teletext pages...
BREADER: But at least they're not comin' to fuckin' Asm to chat with their teletext TVs and phones!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Don't spread that idea too much, or next year there's actually gonna be some MTV3 stand and some phones for teletext chat!!
PENARON: By the way, is there Boozembly at all this year?
dr.TREmolo: There ain't official Boozembly, but there's some people boozin' between da parkin' lot and da basketball field...
PENARON: Okey, at least I'm gonna go there right now.
== Boozembly ==
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ya can't fuckin' stand bein' in da hall, everyone's just playin' some shitty Spaceman remix from their man-sized speakers...
QCLR: Yeah... ya'd just barely have the energy to see the most important compos...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: By da way, d'ya think da nature of lameness would've changed somehow over da past few years?
QCLR: Well, there were Doom lamers at Asm a couple of years ago already...
PENARON: But the Doom lamers were still mostly scene back then!! Or at least interested in demos...
ELECTRON: It's changed a bit, right. Now it's hard to have them put the screens and speakers out before compos...
dr.TREmolo: And da fuckin' strobelights.
ELECTRON: Now we had to fuckin' shout at them from the grandstand to put 'em away!!
SPHINX: It's a bit same as if some people had come to eighties copyparties with their Nintendos and just played 'em all the time there...
PENARON: Nintendo or Wintendo, all the same...
dr.TREmolo: Bwahahah, "Wintendo"!! That was a good one!!
DOME: There actually were some C64 and Amiga users who could only play games... but at least they had at least SOME scene contacts!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Now they're advertisin' Assembly and Abduction on the Internet, so all da kids who've gotten a Pentium for x-mas find their way there!!
WHaLERiDER: Something wrong 'bout that? They're payin' for da tickets, so there's more money to give as prizes...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, they're fuckin' spoilin' da whole party atmosphere!!
WHaLERiDER: Man, ya ain't even been to parties for more than half a year, and ya think yar some fuckin' party atmosphere expert already, dammit!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I was at da Asm '94 already, and DA ATMOSPHERE WAS ALL CRAPPY THERE TOO!!!
dr.TREmolo: Yeah, got that ya were there as a Doom lamer -
mR.mEgAsTuFf: FUCK YA!
DOME: But I guess smaller parties are gonna keep the good atmosphere even in the future.
WHaLERiDER: Yeah, da other parties can be like that, but it's good that there's also a big one, where da scene shows out and da prizes are good -
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuck that! Da scene and that kinda mega-commerciality AIN'T GONNA MIX, PERIOD!!
dr.TREmolo: If ya think like that, ya can always stay home to play wanna-be-elite, dammit! And let us win da money from da gamelamerz...
QCLR: At least I'd prefer to be unknown than read newspapers articles about "coca-cola-powered multimedia youngsters at Assembly"!!
LAZERCODE: We should start puttin' texts like "No Quake network" to small party invitations, so that the Wintendo scene wouldn't get there...
FUCKSUCKER: Yeah, those are startin' to be important precautions so the SCENE wouldn't DIE!!
dr.TREmolo: Phew, it's all ridiculous to claim that da scene would die because of some irrelevant Quake or Internet lamers!!
WHaLERiDER: Yeah, da main point is that we get FAME!! Who cares if some Helsingin Sanomat reporter givin' da fame to us ain't got a clue!
dr.TREmolo: Yeah, gimme some WORLD DOMINATION attitude, hey!! Da point of da scene ain't to just twiddle with something only da scene can respect...
SPHINX: Besides, all the talks about the scene dying is gettin' fuckin' old already! At the Black Quartz Party back in -
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But what 'bout the pornrats who just leech porn at the party and look at it? Ain't they a kinda scenekillers too, dammit?
dR.cRaXoN: Hey dood, there's been porncrewz in da scene like many years already! There's nuffin' new 'bout that...
BREADER: And now there's even an MP3 crew that rips ceedees and trades out the songs as MP3s!
MARACK: Yeah, and soon's there's sure gonna be crews that rip some movies and TV series episodes, once we get some more bandwidth...
FOOTMAN: And the decompression cards and MMX processors to actually watch the MPEGs with a good quality!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But what's that have to do with the DEMOscene???
SPHINX: Hey man, don't ya fuckin' know where the scene started?!?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yes, I know, but -
WHaLERiDER: But ya actually got a point crackin' and tradin' games still has some connection with demos, unlike some MP3 rips...
ELECTRON: Hey, by the way, when's the next compo?
PENARON: Wildcompo would start at nine according to the schedule...
DOME: Right, Wildcompos suck too nowadays. The crappy homevideos are fun at small parties, 'cause ye know who's made 'em...
DOME: But at the big parties the wild compos are full of some total-nobody crap, nuffin' fun in that!!
BREADER: Right, the Abduction wildcompo sucked hard exactly for that!!!
dr.TREmolo: Yeah, there should be a kinda rule that only da crews who've released something for other compos can take part in da wildcompo...
DRBLOOD: Howdy...
LAZERCODE: Hey, it's Bloody. Havin' a good time on IRC?
DRBLOOD: Havin' a fuckin' miserable time there...
WHaLERiDER: Hey, whatta fuck, WHAT'S DA DEVICE YAR HOLDIN' IN YAR HAND?
DRBLOOD: This is the one thing we've been workin' on the Nokia Tampere office... gonna release it officially this autumn.
WHaLERiDER: But WHAT IS IT??
DRBLOOD: It's called Communicator... it's like got a pocket computer and a GSM phone in the same case -
dR.cRaXoN: Phew! Tampere's so behind da time now!! We've had an SMS gatway to the IRC for nearly two years now, without no pocket computers -
DRBLOOD: This stuff is quite a bit cooler than some SMS gateway, hey!!
LAZERCODE: Yeah, it's got a realtime data connection to the server!! And a full-size screen, 80 chars wide!!
DRBLOOD: And a full QWERTY keyboard to let ya write at a normal speed!!
dR.cRaXoN: Still, ya Tampere rednecks ain't got nuffin' 'bout no true cyberstuff, dammit!!
LAZERCODE: Guess CYBOGANG's just jealous 'cause Communicator wasn't invented in Helsinki -
dR.cRaXoN: Fuckin' piss off, ya fuckin' morons! We're gettin' da fuck outta this dungbilly smell!!
SPHINX: Ya should drink a bit more...
wArlord: But really, if I'm ever gonna buy a mobile phone, it's gonna be NMT and no GSM, dammit!! I'm so pissed off 'bout all GSM yuppies...
DRBLOOD: Buy anything you like, but there's gonna be no NMT version of Communicator, only GSM!!
wArlord: Allright then. But who's gonna even afford that? Feels like some CEO toy...
DRBLOOD: Hey man, in the year 2000 it may be that any computer hobbyist can afford the 1996 Communicator!
wArlord: Well, yeah, guess they're gonna get cheaper...
BREADER: And I'm sure Nokia will have released a new model then, and all the yuppies want it, sellin' their old gear away cheap.
FOOTMAN: And don't forget the competition!! Motorola and Ericsson are sure to also start makin' that kinda pocket-computer phones...
DRBLOOD: But luckily Nokia was ahead of everybody also ALSO in this, so we're gonna keep the market lead nevertheless!
wArlord: Yeah, right...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But for da fuck's sake, da chats on da #asm96 channel is RETARDED as hell!!
dr.TREmolo: Indeed, so fuckin' retareded that even a CWU lamer like that notices it!!
ELECTRON: The folks' just been floodin' ads for their Quake servers, or some other INCONCEIVABLY lame shit...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, it's good that we're here on da basketball field, and not in da mainhall!!
wArlord: Yeah.
PORKKALA: But hey, it's da CWU doodz!! Hello!!!
MÄRKÄKYRPÄ: Take some kilju from us!!
wArlord: I've actually been cravin' for some kilju, after that visit to the lamer hall...
MÄRKÄKYRPÄ: Yeah, we dinna even reckon 'bout goin' there! We just sleep in our van and booze da whole weekend.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, I wouldn't wanna be inside at all, but we have da mission at this party trip to find out da deepest nature of lameness...
MÄRKÄKYRPÄ: Yeah, but maybe y'all can carry on with that mission tomorrow. Take a draught of kilju, so ya don't hafta be so uptight.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: *glug glug glug*
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But that's sure, that even if da world got full of helluva shitlamers, we can always trust the scene brotherhood of CWU and MAHTI!!
MÄRKÄKYRPÄ: Yeah! CWU AND MAHTI, FOREVER TOGETHER!!
wArlord: *glug glug glug*
wArlord: Yer kilju's even better than last time!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, it's really da best kilju ever!
««- · CWU MEMOiRS 0x78 · nExT cHApTeR -»»