C00LeS WaReZ UNiON MeMOiRS: cHApTER #0x77

========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x77 =========

DaTE:     1996-08-12 aT 14:38

LoCATi0N: CWU LIVEHQ at HoEnTToELAE, hAuTAtAiPAE, LiEtEvESi, FiNLAND

PrESeNT:  aLL cWU mEMBeRZ
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DaRK FuCKeR: Extremely bothersome! Our Internet link still remains malfunctional.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, I heard da microwave link works okay, but Osmo's hut has just dropped outta CWUnet.

DaRK FuCKeR: I knew that, but I do not have the patience to wait! I already have immense abstinence symptoms from abstaining from IRC!

wArlord: Right, all the way up to abstinence symptoms. Hey, time to get some sense into that ballhead of yours...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I'm also ashamed for real for that our net's still workin' so shittily.

wArlord: Hey man, we've only had it for two weeks, it's natural to have still some hiccups...

dArK sTuFfEr: Besides, even most Helsinkians do not yet have a fixed Internet connection of any kind.

wArlord: We could've told the seventh-grade lamers aboot our fixed Internet connection today.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, but would they've got what some fixed Internet link is even 'bout?

wArlord: Yeah, I doubt Mikrobitti's even gotten a story aboot that. The lamers prolly wouldn't have gotten it.

dArK sTuFfEr: And even if they had, they probably would not have believed that a fixed Internet connection is possible with our "flupumps".

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Right, dammit. All that kinda jerks think everything's 'bout yar CPU power, so that'd be possible just with some fuckin' Unix mainframes...

wArlord: I doubt they've ever heard aboot some Unix even. They reckon that some 200-megahertz Pentium is the most powerful computer ever...

wArlord: Well, they have been ravin' for weeks already at Gatenet aboot breakin' the 200-MHz boundary.

dArK sTuFfEr: I have not been motivated to follow the Gatenet hardware upgrade decadence since the meet-up fiasco in January.

wArlord: Allright. But they also said Alphas are already at four hundred megahertz.

dArK sTuFfEr: Alphas are something that pitiful Windows lamers shall not ever heard about, fortunately!

wArlord: Right, I doubt that too, unless if we convert 'em. There ain't nuffin' aboot Alphas in Mikrobitti...

dArK sTuFfEr: I suspect it is not worthwhile to educate them. Any other computer-user would be more receptive.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But what if those lamers are da only seventh-graders who've even even touched a computer yet?

dArK sTuFfEr: Vihtori is unfit to continue, as our family shall be moving away from Lietevesi next summer.

wArlord: Goddammit. But at least he could be leadin' their way over the seventh grade...

dArK sTuFfEr: I doubt he will be listened to, as he does not even actually have a computer of his own.

wArlord: I reckon that Henkka Berglund and the others too ain't got nuffin' but some whole-family multimedia Pentiums...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, that's so typical to today's lamers that da daddy of da family has bought some fuckin' overpriced Pentium for da whole family...

dArK sTuFfEr: We should locate those seventh-grade computer users who have not yet been spoiled by whole-family multimedia Pentiums.

wArlord: But I reckon that those folks are also the ones who don't chat aboot their doings very much...

wArlord: Fuck's sake, if the atmosphere is all aboot braggin' aboot yer megahertz, then maybe the folks who can't brag would rather shut up?

dArK sTuFfEr: Indeed. Maybe we will have to separately ask everybody whether they have computers at home.

wArlord: And we should also hurry aboot that. Mikael may very well be doin' the same kinda survey for his own brainwashin' purposes...

dArK sTuFfEr: Excellent observation, wArlord! This may end up as a serious propaganda war we must participate early enough!

dArK sTuFfEr: Excellent idea, DaRK FuCKeR! We could use Rauno-killer to eliminate the worst spreaders of megahertz propaganda.

wArlord: Yeah, maybe we should keep some distance to that fuckin' occult stuff now.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But what if da Quake clowns still are da only ones we can find on this billyhill?

dArK sTuFfEr: We should prepare ourselves to this possibility as well. We should therefore find out about the deepest essence of Quake lameness.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I'd fuckin' rather shoot myself than try to understand da braindamages of that kinda lamers dammit!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I actually think there's something profoundly different in their lameness to ours.

wArlord: But I reckon it's all the same, and that the cycles will go on just like they went afore...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuck's sake, it wasn't eve possible at Amiga or C64 times to brag 'bout yar megahertzes like that!

wArlord: Well, the richer C64 users had floppy drives, and in Amiga times there were hard disks, memory expansions and monitors. All the same!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But back then da skillz and scene-contactz were da main stuff! Da current lamers forgive any lameness if ya've got enuff megahertzes...

dArK sTuFfEr: We should remind what cULT oF pOWER told us in our first meeting back in autumn 1994.

dArK sTuFfEr: According to them, the PC dominance will cause the gateway to the elite reality will close permanently for lamers.

wArlord: So, ye mean we only saved ourselves 'cause we also got a couple of Amigas and C64s for us?

wArlord: Doubtin' aboot that. I reckon it was rather a piece of their educatio plan than any universal truth...

dArK sTuFfEr: CGK specifically warned us about the destructivity of hardware upgrades. Maybe the point is the upgrade-centrism of mainstream PC culture?

wArlord: So, ye mean if ye wanna be elite ye can also use a PC as long as ye stay outta the mainstream and never upgrade it?

dArK sTuFfEr: Exactly. All hardware upgrades are always absolutely condemnable and lead to increased lameness.

dArK sTuFfEr: Affirmative. The PC provided to you by fate was a 286, and you must never upgrade it to anything else.

DaRK FuCKeR: But what about if I want to deepen my understanding by using Linux? It would not work in a 286.

dArK sTuFfEr: Every step forward is possible with any hardware. With a 286, you would merely encounter the challenge in a more profound form than with a 386.

DaRK FuCKeR: I think the challenge I am encountering with my 286 is already excessively big! I need at least a 386 -

dArK sTuFfEr: No hardware upgrade whatsoever is suitable for the occult path you have chosen -

dArK sTuFfEr: It is important to reflect upon a path change for a long time. Besides, you gave a vow in Iisalmi at LAZERCODE/CGK -

DaRK FuCKeR: I'VE BEEN REFLECTIN' FOR A LONG TIME ALREADY!! I'M NO LONGER WALKIN' ON YER PATH, AND THIS WORD IS FINAL!!

wArlord: Yeah, I s'pose yer serious 'cause ye even switch back to Savonian. Or, I mean, that yer kinda fucked mix-up of Karelian and Savonian.

dArK sTuFfEr: I cannot make an exception by permitting you to upgrade your hardware, no matter how serious you were -

dArK sTuFfEr: Maybe not, but I can still abstain from upgrades and be deeply concerned of the members who do not.

DaRK FuCKeR: Ye can be concerned, right, but I'M GONNA SELL MY MOPED and then use the money to buy at least a 486, or rather a Pentium!!

wArlord: By the way, did ye get that Tunturi in the first place, 'cause they'd rather have bought a new peecee for ye?

DaRK FuCKeR: Yeah, mum and dad were plannin' to give me the money to upgrade my peecee but I dinna agree to it back then so they bought the moped.

dArK sTuFfEr: I think DaRK FuCKeR should compensate for the lameness of his next hardware configuration by doing maximally elite things with it -

wArlord: Ye mean, switch on the Linux, and then never boot to nuffin' else from it, ever?

DaRK FuCKeR: I actually reckoned aboot bootin' to DOS to watch new demos... and I also planned to try out Quake too!!

dArK sTuFfEr: If you plan to try it out, you must compensate for its lameness with alright special kind of procedures of purgement and repentance -

wArlord: Err, hey, if we had the plans to understand Quake lameness somehow, should we then have some practical experience aboot it too?

dArK sTuFfEr: Indeed. A short test-run could be very informative without even exposing us to a real danger whatsoever.

wArlord: Who know aboot that, maybe he'd get even more zealous aboot that game, 'cause he's of the zeaolous type after all...

dArK sTuFfEr: Even a brief period of Quake lameness would not be harmful per se, as it would help us better understand the seventh-graders -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: WE AIN'T BE GETTIN' A SINGLE QUAKE LAMER INTO OUR CREW OR I'M OUTTA HERE!!

dArK sTuFfEr: Well, this was merely a wild suggestion concerning the positive possibilities of Quake lameness.

wArlord: Look, it's Osmo. We dinna even notice ye were comin', 'cause they were all yellin' so loud there...

OH7MO: The coppers be now fixed! So, try if y'all can get to the Pielavesi network again now..

OH7MO: Yeah, he ain't sounding nearly as civilised and moderate than like two days ago.

dArK sTuFfEr: He abandoned the occult path he had chosen, and also gave up standard Finnish in the process.

DaRK FuCKeR: YEAH!! THE INTERNET'S WORKIN' AGAIN!! I'M GONNA CHECK OUT RIGHT AWAY WHAT'S HAPPENED ON THE INTERNET IN THE MEANTIME!!

OH7MO: Have y'all been reckonin' aboot expandin' the network? It ain't even reachin' Jussi or Sam yet...

wArlord: Dunno aboot that... at least I don't wanna the same kinda addiction that Kassu's got...

OH7MO: Okey. Y'all could also ask town-dwellers, 'cause it might be possible for us to make a link to there too -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: We ain't gonna get no townclowns to CWUnet! It's our private network dammit!

dArK sTuFfEr: Expanding CWUnet to the town could actually help us gather the seventh-grader credibility we need -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: We don't need no credibility to that bunch of ultralamerz!! They're totally lost cases, they ain't of no use for us!!

wArlord: Well, I reckon it might actually be good to expand it at least to the school... easier for us to brag to them, and -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: FUCK'S SAKE, not to da fuckin' school! All da lamers would then mIRC and Netscape thru our net and get us banned -

dArK sTuFfEr: We have enough lameness protection in CWUnet. Additionally, we can also block HTTP and other protocols favoured by lamers.

dArK sTuFfEr: Well, at least we should block IRC from other than specific IP addresses. Our address range must never be associated with Windows lameness.

wArlord: Besides, who da hell would IRC from some Pielavesi Tele ranges anyway? External shells are much more reliable...

dArK sTuFfEr: Indeed. I would never establish a direct IRC connection from CWUnet before the microwave link to Pielavesi is perfectly reliable.

wArlord: By the way, if we expand CWUnet, we've got the problem that the Frontline computer ain't gonna stand much more traffic.

OH7MO: So, ye mean that the actual hardware can't push Ethernet packets forward well enuff?

wArlord: Yeah. It'd help a lot if we upgraded it to like 386SX, the same way as the junior-high computers were upgraded -

dArK sTuFfEr: I am absolutely against the hardware upgrade. A 286 is perfectly sufficient for the purposes of Frontline BBS -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, we could have at least that 386SX in a hub machine like that dammit... so at least OS/2 Warp would work and we could throw DESQview away!

dArK sTuFfEr: If the Frontline hardware were upgraded to 32-bit, the lameness of the upgrade should be compenstaed by replacing the PCBoard with Linux.

wArlord: I still reckon that in the BBS use PCBoard will beat any Linux-shell 100-0 -

dArK sTuFfEr: I assume we have had this discussion for quite many times already.

dArK sTuFfEr: I would now like to enquire OH7MO of his position on the suggested hardware upgrade.

OH7MO: Well, in some cases that could be quite necessary even, but in most cases not.

OH7MO: Y'all should recall the law of Turenki, everthang's that's possible with one computer is possible with any another.

wArlord: To hell with Turenki, the capacity of that 286 would simply run out if we took the junior-high computer room to CWUnet!

DaRK FuCKeR: And it's also reasonable for me to have a 486 or at least a Pentium! All the new demos and Linux and everthang -

OH7MO: Well, if it's just aboot program compatibility, it's not a very good reason to upgrade yet.

OH7MO: Y'all could learn lotsa new stuff from havin' to do without programs made by other folks...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But it'd waste all of our time if we did everything ourselves when nobody made 386-compatible software anymore!

wArlord: Right, we can't twiddle many more years now, 'cause we should be preparing for a new generation to continue our job...

wArlord: Well, we reckoned that one of us should have a machine that runs all the same software as they, so that we at least spoke the same language.

dArK sTuFfEr: For the seventh-graders, Quake is the most important computer application ever. Our crew should have one computer that runs Quake.

OH7MO: Well, y'all should ponder it out on yer own, but y'all should also consider if there's any option for that.

dArK sTuFfEr: The future of Lietevesi depends on how lamers shall react to our actions. We should therefore consider our actions carefully.

dArK sTuFfEr: It is thus important for us to understand modern lameness as profoundly as possible, especially regarding how it differs from the 1994 version.

dArK sTuFfEr: There will Assembly in Helsinki next weekend. We should send a representation and investigation team there.

dArK sTuFfEr: Our family cannot afford such a journey for me, not to mention the 220-mark entrance fee.

myXTer: We're also tight on money now that Arja lost her job... And I don't even wanna show up to sceners for a while.

DaRK FuCKeR: And I wanna spare all my extra money so that I can buy as good as possible computer for myself!!

wArlord: At least ye could come with me, Mega, I reckon yer quite sure to get the money for that from Ritu -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I fuckin' won't! At least if I'm gonna hafta be in da same train with the town Quake-lamers...

wArlord: I don't reckon they're interested in Asm, at least if Mikael's told 'em that it's actually a demoparty and not a Quake fair.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Oh, right, ofcoz Mikael would be there makin' sure that they'd never see a single demo or other tuff stuff nowhere!

dArK sTuFfEr: Assembly - or at least Boozembly - shall also be gathering enormously elite people in addition to the lamers.

dArK sTuFfEr: It will therefore provide an excellent chance to learn how an elite person can interact with a modern Quake lamer.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Oh, yeah, it could actually be nice to see how to show lamers how's da boss!!

dArK sTuFfEr: You are a pedantic observer. Your observations on the lamer-elite social interactions would be absolutely relevant for us.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, da lamer-manipulation skill would be really useful for us long way to da future even...

dArK sTuFfEr: So, we have no agreed that wArlord and mR.mEgAsTuFf shall journey to Assembly?