C00LeS WaReZ UNiON MeMOiRS: cHApTER #0x72

--==oO==-- cHAOS wORLD uNKNOWN -[]- history file #0x72 --==Oo==--

date .......... fri 1996-06-14 at 12:50

location ...... cwu real-life hq (hoenttoelae)

present ....... kHanatik / cwu
		wHitedodge / cwu
		wArlord / cwu
		nEopardy / cwu
		mR.mEgAsTuFf / cwu

--==oO==-- --==Oo==-- --==oO==-- --==Oo==-- --==oO==-- --==Oo==--

Syrjäisellä Hautataipaleen kylällä ei mopon pärinä kuulu eikä kilju käy. Kylä ei ole kuitenkaan täysin kuollut, sen nuoret vain ovat keskittyneet ATK- peleihin pahanteon asemesta. Ja voittivatpa pojat viikonloppuna peräti ATK:n mestaruuskilpailun.

Nuoret ATK-mestarit aikovat seuraavaksi hankkia kylän ensimmäisen Internet-yhteyden. Surfaustaitoa tarvitaan ATK-kilpailuissa, joihin kävijät tuovat omat päätteensä ja surfaavat läpi viikonlopun. Lisäksi kilpaillaan näppäilynopeudessa ja tietenkin Doom- pelissä. Poikia eivät surfaus ja näppäily kuitenkaan niin paljoa kiinnosta kuin pelit, koska ne ovat vielä "aekusten juttuloeta", kuten 14-vuotias Mika Tossa- vainen sanoo elävällä peräsavolaismurteellaan.

Aikuisena Mika aikoo ruveta asentamaan lypsytieto- koneita. Ritu-äiti uumoilee, että lypsytietokoneista voisi nörttipoikien käsissä tulla jopa Hautataipaleen oma Nokia.

Poikien suosima tietokonemerkki on Commondore, kuten kaikilla muillakin lapsilla. Sen ääressä Mikakin on oppinut kaiken, mikä ATK:ssa on opittavaa. "Minä ossoon jo kaeken", heläyttää Mika kimeällä nörtinäänellään.

ATK-nörttiyteen kuuluvat kimeän äänen lisäksi ehdottomasti silmälasit, jotka ovat pojille hyvin rakas asia. Mika aikoo kehittää näköään nörttimäisempään suuntaan istumalla mahdollisimman lähellä näyttöpäätettä. Voi, kunpa kaikki nuoret olisivat niin kilttejä ja tunnollisia kuin Hautataipaleen ihanat ATK-pojat!

Kuvateksti: Nörttitoverukset Mika Tossavainen ja Jussi Hirvonen eivät tytöistä välitä. Commondore-tietokone on paljon kiinnostavampi.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Wonder whose fault is it? MAN, YA ANSWERED THAT BITCH'S QUESTIONS SO EAGERLY AND NEVER EVEN RETURNED HER DISS!!

wArlord: I guess the reason might rather be that ye yerself made her mad with yer prickness...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I FUCKIN' DIDN'T! I JUST DID WHAT EVERY SELF-RESPECTIN' SCENER WOULD'VE DONE!

nEopardy: I guess the grown-ups thought the interview actually went quite well. So, maybe she actually did her best -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, sure 'bout that. EVERY FUCKIN' SENTENCE SO FULL OF INSULTS THAT WE OURSELVES COULDN'T HAVE MADE IT BETTER!

kHanatik: I assume that the purpose of the article was to satisfy our parents while insulting us as intensely as possible.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, it seems like that to me to... "Once Mika grows up, he plans to start installing cow-milking computers"...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: THAT AIN'T SOUNDIN' LIKE ANY GOOD-NATURED IGNORANCE TO ME! DA FUCKIN' SLUT MADE EVERYTHING AS WRONG AS SHE COULD!

nEopardy: Well, there actually are some things there that sound somewhat like dissin'...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah... "Mika plans to develop his eyesight towards a more nerdy direction by sitting as close as he can to the terminal and textbooks"...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: WE NEVER FUCKIN' TALKED 'BOUT ANY GLASS STRENGTHS!!! SHE MADE IT ALL UP JUST TO DISS US!!!

wArlord: I reckon that even if we had come up with ways to popularize our stuff to her or shown her demos, it wouldna have helped.

kHanatik: Affirmative, she would probably have written a similar story despite what we had said to her.

wArlord: Wonder if we should send 'em some correction request? My old man would also roar at 'em a bit so to make sure they publish it...

kHanatik: That would be justified. Still, a mere correction request would not be enough, and we should compensate the damage by our own actions.

kHanatik: I think it is necessary for us to reveal our dark side to the public, preferrably in a maximally shocking way.

wArlord: Fuckin' bloody hell with ye once again! D'ye reckon that'd gain us more respect from the folks?

kHanatik: I believe that the contradictions between the previous and upcoming article would neutralise one another, cleaning our fame.

wArlord: Naw realism there at all. For starters, try to get that different gossips spread out in different ways...

wArlord: Nobody's interested aboot some Perä-Savo News article "computer nerds this and thats" that ain't even got our handles in it...

wArlord: But if we gave a slightest hint aboot Satan worship, then there'd be all the tabloids chasin' us!

kHanatik: Good observation. The compensation caused by a shock article would be disproportionae to the original damage made.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Maybe should now take the priority to make sure that we won't lose our reputation among sceners and junior-high kids...

wArlord: Well, that local newspaper article ain't likely to affect scene reputation, unless somebody who lives in Perä-Savo notices it...

wHitedodge: But what if they do? And like types it into a textfile and uploads it to every sceneboard!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Guess that kinda file would get nuked outta every board, dammit? Nobody believes that some newspaper could've published that kinda shit...

wHitedodge: But what if they scanned that newspaper article and put it into the packet?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: As if one couldn't fake that. Besides, who da fuck would choose to download hundreds of kilos of some fuckin' newspaper article scan?

kHanatik: Indeed. Besides, MAKARON.RIP has already been nuked out of several BBSes, as fileops have been considering it a fraud.

wArlord: Well, guess they're quite eager there at Dark Hole to nuke all the CWU stuff, 'cause it's always "capture shit" to them...

kHanatik: It would nevertheless be important to spread MAKARON.RIP to all the scene-relevant BBSes, IRC channels and newsgroups.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, and whenever it gets deleted WE SHOULD REUPLOAD IT TO EVERY FUCKIN' FILE AND MESSAGE AREA UNTIL EVERYBODY'S SEEN IT DAMMIT!

wArlord: Yeah. And once everybody's seen it, nobody would take some Perä-Savo News article as true.

nEopardy: We should just be careful when spreading to the Internet, 'cause some reporter may actually be using it nowadays...

wArlord: Yeah, maybe we should keep that campaign in boards, so that reporters never accidentally see it.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, maybe that's well enuff to fix our scene reputation. But what 'bout our reputation at school?

wHitedodge: I believe the best way to fix it would be attacking the confirmation camp!

kHanatik: Indeed! After such an attack, nobody who ever heard about it would never connect us first to any nerdy lameness -

wArlord: The grownups have just learned to respect us a little bit, and we'd spoil it right away with some Satanic-smellin' hooliganism!

nEopardy: Yeah, I also think we should be careful about everything somebody could connect to Wampires...

wArlord: Even stealin' some tractor or boat would be a better idea, 'cause many grownups did that too when they were young.

wArlord: But all the Satan-worship and drugs and RPGs and such are sump'n that the grownups can just moan in horror aboot.

kHanatik: You have no obligation to participate in the attack. I and wHitedodge intend to execute it nevertheless.

kHanatik: That would merely worsen the problem you mentioned. Besides, we do not intend to reveal the time of the attack prematurely.

wArlord: Well, I could maybe call the cops in a precautionary way too, so that they put y'all in the brig afrore-

kHanatik: Indeed not. Besides, was your intention not to keep us as far as from Satan worship related publicity as possible?

wArlord: Well, do anything y'all like then dammit! I couldna stop ye anymaw if ye've decided it that way...

nEopardy: I also think it's not possible to make kHanatik cancel a decision he's made.

wArlord: Well, maybe it's better for me to tell the old man to roar to the newspaper if they ever plan to write an article aboot it...

kHanatik: This would be perhaps the best conceivable contribution to this project from your side.

wArlord: Still, it'd be better we dinna made anybody mad. Dinna the grownups already suggest that we should save Lietevesi?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, right! And this shitty village ain't gonna deserve a shit from us ESPECIALLY AFTER THAT FUCKIN' NEWSPAPER ARTICLE!!

wArlord: The reporter actually was from Pielavesi... fuckin' Pielavesi-dwellers tryin' to destroy Lietevesi -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: WHO FUCKIN' CARES IF IT'S LIETEVESI OR PIELAVESI OR KIURUVESI, ALL THEM BACKWATER VILLAGES HERE ARE DA SAME FUCKIN' SHIT DAMMIT!!!

wArlord: But what aboot that we promised to Vornas-Heikki and Forest Goat? D'y'all reckon that's also -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: TO HELL WITH VORNAS-HEIKKI! THIS VILLAGE AIN'T DESERVIN' ANYTHING FROM US AT ALL!!

kHanatik: The promise we made to these entities is related to the continuation of the elite layer of the locality, not the lamer one.

kHanatik: Our responsibility is to continue the Lietevesi sage tradition by passing the cULT oF pOWER mandate forward, not to please adults.

wArlord: Well, guess the way how youngsters fare has quite sump'n to do with how the grownups fare. Especially everbody moves away -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: And it ain't seemin' that the lower-grade lamers are worth anything. They're all some fuckin' Windows and Quake kids...

kHanatik: cULT oF pOWER was also forced to choose us despite our PC lameness, as there was no better material available among the youngsters.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I don't think it's worthy to educate today's lamers. It's better to just ensure evil fame to us so that they keep far enuff from us.

kHanatik: On the other hand, a suspicious reputation might also awaken the interest among those newcomers who have the potential.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, right, guess C.O.P. did that too. Even we had heard quite crazy gossip 'bout 'em when we got to da seventh grade.

wArlord: Yeah, maybe that kinda gossip would even be a good thang in that kinda sense.

kHanatik: So, you are now positive about our project for reputation improvement?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I could maybe in principle get to the confirmation camp if I just concentrated on braggin' and gossipin' there.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I would make sure with that gossip that when anyone hears 'bout us they'd first think 'bout all da tuff stuff and not da dorky stuff.

kHanatik: Excellent idea, mR.mEgAsTuFf. I have heard that children of Christian laymen are the easiest to manipulate during the confirmation camp.

wHitedodge: And once they're at their most perfect sensitiveness, then we would attack them!

wArlord: It's still better to skip that for good, dammit... Wonder what even Vornas-Heikki would reckon' aboot that?

kHanatik: As far as I know, even Vornas-Heikki already had a scary reputation in his youth, and he never consented to local-lamery.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: He never consented, ya say? He's been fuckin' helpin' da cops for like a hundred years dammit! HE'S ONE FUCKIN' SCUMBAG THERE!

kHanatik: Hmm, good observation. Maybe we should as OH7MO how he views Vornas-Heikki and Lietevesi sage continuum.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: AT LEAST I DON'T FUCKIN' CARE LESS WHAT OSMO SAYS! LET'S FUCKIN' BREAK DA CHAIN OF TRADITION, DAMMIT, NO FUCKIN' MERCY THERE!

kHanatik: I still believe that it is important to encounter Vornas-Heikki. Besides, we promised him to see him again when the time is ripe.

wArlord: Well, on the one hand it would be good to see him, but maybe it's better to wait until we get confirmed first -

kHanatik: On my behalf, I consider it important to meet Vornas-Heikki as soon as possible, as a unified group -

kHanatik: Indeed. Our initiation shall not be finished until we have traversed all the places of the Vornanen Pentagram.

wArlord: In that case y'all's gonna hafta wait one more month. I don't want to reckon aboot naw pagan stuff afore my confirmation!

kHanatik: Maybe we are forced to accept this compromise in order to retain the integrity of our group.