C00LeS WaReZ UNiON MeMOiRS: cHApTER #0x66

--==oO==-- cHAOS wORLD uNKNOWN -[]- history file #0x66 --==Oo==--

date .......... wed 1996-01-24 at 09:08

location ...... lietevesi junior high, computer classroom

present ....... CWU members, OH7MO as teacher, AND LOTZA LAMERZ!

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OH7MO: And that'd also be a worthy subject for today's computin' lesson, what y'all did there.

MIKAEL: Couldn't we rather study Windows? We ain't studied Windows at all since you came to replace Rauno -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuck off there ya fuckin' lamer! Ye should be grateful that Osmo brings ya straight into tuff doodz' stuff and no beginner shit...

MIKAEL: That "tuff doodz' stuff" of yours is all useless! Windows and graphical Internet are the future...

OH7MO: Right, them there graphical systems be just trainin' wheels that prevent ye from properly learnin' computers.

OH7MO: Ye could well say that to your mathematics or history teacher, that ye don't wanna learn 'em properly...

kHanatik: Apparently Jaana would even spend her Finnish lessons for writing love letters without commas and replacing "ks" with "x".

JANETZU: Fuck goddamn off there ye grammar snob!! Them commas ain't of no use neither!!!

OH7MO: Algorithms, processor workings and logical gates are the kinda concepts that stay the same even if the technology changes...

OH7MO: If y'all just learned some Windows keyboard shortcuts instead of what's under 'em, y'all would be all lost in the future.

MIKAEL: But we'd still be closer to the future if you taught us modern things instead of that kinda ages-old shit!!

MIKAEL: I guess you don't even know anything 'bout Windows... At least Rauno was a qualified expert who followed the teaching plan!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: And BWAHAHAH! Ya could really see thru his stuff that he didn't know nuffin' besides what he read in his teacher's guide!

MIKAEL: He used many other books there as well! And the MikroBitti magazine too!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Right, where else would he have gotten them fuckin' Windows tips he made us memorize... totally useless trivia dammit!

MIKAEL: It's less useless for future than the ancient DOS commands Osmo makes us learn!!

MIKAEL: They're all dated, 'cause they ain't even got any multimedia! No graphics, no sounds, just black-and-white text!

OH7MO: Well, y'alls gonna get y'alls stomachs full of that multimedia today, as the boys tell about their trip to Iisalmi...

MIKAEL: I'm sure that's also gonna be old-fashioned and useless as hell, and worth nuffin' in the future!!

OH7MO: But I would suspect that the future lies in exactly the kinda projects the boys be doin' at their computer parties...

MIKAEL: I don't believe that such an unqualified fossil has any idea 'bout what the future's gonna come to...

wHitedodge: But we already know what future's gonna come to!! For real, we saw -

kHanatik: Do not reveal it! It is a secret, revelation of which might alter the timeline!

MIKAEL: And 386 users like you don't have any idea about the future either, or even the present!

MIKAEL: The 386 ain't worth nothing today, it's only useful for word processing! For everything else you've gotta have at least a 486...

kHanatik: You have apparently read the sponsored propaganda articles in MikroBitti and accepted everything they say without the slightest criticism.

MIKAEL: It's you who believe in some conspiracy theories 'cause you can't stand the fact that the 386 is an old-fashioned flupump worth nuffin'!

MIKAEL: Right, and that's why they should be upgrated into 486s or preferably Pentiums! They can't even run Windows and Netscape properly...

MIKAEL: Not to mention some future multimedia applications that absolutely require at least a 486DX/66 and an SVGA screen!!

MIKAEL: I upgraded our home's computer into Pentium last christmas, less ain't worth anything if you wanna play new games!

MIKAEL: And then you claim that some 386 would be enuff for some "realtime multimedia"...

kHanatik: Nearly any computer is enough for "realtime multimedia". It is about programming skill.

MIKAEL: Do you claim for real that you could use your pitiful flupumps to make better multimedia than some Microsoft professionals?

MIKAEL: You're now having a totally twisted view of reality if you believe sump'n like that!!

OH7MO: Microsoft does have its own interests in the game when it is making programs as badly optimized as it is.

OH7MO: New computers always come with their products, so they get better sales if they make their program code worse.

OH7MO: Microsoft and its henchmen also exploit poor municipalities by bribin' the policymakers to put Windows in the teachin' plans...

OH7MO: And then the municipalities get the pressure to upgrade their computers much more often than necessary.

OH7MO: We in Lietevesi ain't followin' the stream! We're usin' our traditional cunnin' to manage with less waste of money!

MIKAEL: I reckon we're doin' all the stuff quite difficultly at our lessions!! In Windows you'd just need to click and everything works!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: So, ya still ain't gotten Osmo's point in teachin' da stuff properly instead of some ready-made Windows features...

MIKAEL: All the same! The knowledge of all them machine-language instructions will only be useful for some mega experts in the future!

OH7MO: Knowin' math and physics at some level belongs to general education even if everbody ain't gonna become mathematicians or physicists...

JANETZU: Well, they should get rid of them as well, they ain't worth nuffin' either!!

MIKAEL: Yeah, schools should concentrate in teaching what you really need in your life instead of some useless general education!!

MIKAEL: Nobody but mega experts are gonna need programming skill either in the future!! There's a ready-made shareware proggy for everthing already...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I guess yar just jealous 'coz yar yarself such a dwarfmind that ya can barely code some fuckin' print-goto loop with Basic...

OH7MO: Well, it might be the boys' turn now to tell what they've learned there in Iisalmi. So, get to the stage and present yerselves.

kHanatik: You should nevertheless participate in the presentation as well, as this is a unique opportunity for enlightening the local lamers.

kHanatik: As was evident in the previous discussion, we spent our last weekend in Iisalmi, in an event called Juhla '96 Pi...

kHanatik: Demoparty means a youngsters' multimedia event, where a crucial role is played by a specific kind of real-time multimedia presentations.

kHanatik: (Using lamer terminology is unavoidably obligatory to ensure that the lamers understand what we are talking about.)

wArlord: Err, well yeah... should we like show some demo so that y'all would get it...

kHanatik: The computers of this classroom unfortunately have EGA display adapters, and there are nearly no PC demos that support EGA.

kHanatik: Additionally, a considerable portion of demos do not work with any soundcard but require GUS, that is Gravis Ultrasound.

kHanatik: As I could not find a single decent demo supporting EGA display, I must resort to a fire effect running in the text mode.

MIKAEL: (Now that's so ugly and with a shitty resolution... A proper multimedia Pentium could show video of real fire!!)

wArlord: That's not representative at all of what a machine like this one could do...

kHanatik: Definitely not. I just quickly altered a previously made fire effect so that it works in the text mode.

kHanatik: Affirmative. The EGA graphics mode is, well, how could I explain this -

kHanatik: Affirmative, but I am trying to think what planar would be in Finnish -

kHanatik: Maybe it is sufficient to state that it was programmatically too challenging for me, so I resorted to a text mode implementation.

kHanatik: I was able to find some 16-colour graphics competition entries, but they are designed for the larger colour space of the VGA display.

kHanatik: In EGA graphics, one can select 16 colours out of 64, but in VGA they can be selected out of a total of 262144 colours.

wArlord: And some SVGA cards got even more, sump'n like sixteen million ye can choose the colors out of.

kHanatik: But the 256 colors out of 262144 as in VGA are sufficient for photograph-quality graphics. SVGA is therefore completely useless.

wArlord: That might also sound a bit crappy as these school computers ain't got no soundcard at all...

kHanatik: The internal PC speaker plays sound back at 1-bit resolution. Sound cards and the Amiga could do at least eight bits.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Is there still anything else we should tell those lamers to make them even more jealous?

OH7MO: Maybe y'all could say a few words 'bout what y'all were actually doin' at that there event.

wArlord: Err, well, err... it was like the Iisalmi Youth House wherre the event was...

kHanatik: The attendants brought their computers to the venue. It was a kind of gathering of multimedia hobbyist youth.

kHanatik: The computers in question were used to produce graphics, music and demos for the multimedia competitions of the event.

kHanatik: Playing games is not completely accepted in the events, however. Playing games actually makes one look like subhuman scum.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But anyway, the main thing at those events ain't any fuckin' computer-twiddlin' ya can also do at home, but fuckin' BOOZIN'.

kHanatik: Boozin' means, well, abundant oral consumption of alcoholic beverages.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I guess yar all bein' fuckin' jealous of our boozings as well!! Tuff guys -

wHitedodge: We also had canisters full of our own kilju there with us!! And another crew called Mahti also had kilju of their own.

kHanatik: A crew means a group of computer hobbyist youngsters specialised in multimedia hobbyism.

wHitedodge: Mahti had made their kiljus with some instructions released by us!! And then some had some beer there and even some hard booze...

wHitedodge: Well, there be also some tuff crews who make moonshine of their own, so they don't need to buy it!!

OH7MO: Err, I reckon the presentation of y'alls might be going a little wrongish way now...

OH7MO: Well, what's the new stuff y'all learned there? In my days we had radio camps for the technical youth, and we always learned lots there!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, at least we learned that there are some fuckin moronic doodz on the scene!!!

kHanatik: Scene means, well, the whole unity of people formed by the young multimedia hobbyist groups together.

wArlord: There's like a separate PC scene and then there's Amiga and C64 scenes accordin' to which computer they be makin' demos for.

wHitedodge: And we at least learned there that the Amiga and C64 guys be like many fuckin' thousand times tuffer guys than the PC guys!!!

kHanatik: Amiga and C64 sceners know how to optimize their code, whereas only a small elite minority knows this skill.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, dammit, I still feel like pukin' for that shitty beginner intro whose rotozoomer skipped frames even with the 100 MHz compo gear!!!

wArlord: And we did see some tuff PC demos there also, but we canna show them with these here EGA gear.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But I'm so fuckin' certain that YA LAMERZ ARE SO FUCKIN' JEALOUS FOR OUR PIG-INTENSE PARTY TRIP!!!

wArlord: Might somebody of y'all got some question 'bout these here demos or parties...?

MIKAEL: Well, are there gonna be full versions of the demos for playin' sometime?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: FUCKIN' MORON THERE, DON'T YA FUCKIN' GOT ANY SENSE 'BOUT ANYTHANG YA FUCKIN' LAMER!!!

kHanatik: Indeed. Demos are nearly the opposite of games. Demos and games are by no means to be confused with each other.

wArlord: Demos are for like, watching... and listenin'... not for playin' or controllin' or anythang!!

kHanatik: We did already use the descriptive definition "real-time multimedia presentation".

wArlord: Yeah, right! Any normal-minded fella should get from that definition that it ain't 'bout some demo versions of games...

MIKAEL: So, what's the point in them demos then? It'd be all the same to just watch something in the TV or videotapes.

wArlord: Well, for example, demos are small enough that ye can easily copy them to others, with floppy disks and on boards.

MIKAEL: Well, does it really matter then, as there are bigger harddisks and fasters modems comin' up all the time...

MIKAEL: I guess in the year 2000 you can already watch real movies with just 'bout any computer and everything!

MIKAEL: And they don't even need to be on CD-ROMs anymore, 'cause the harddisks will be big enough that they can even keep many movies!

MIKAEL: Folks are just goin' there with some ancient machines like 386s and Amigas and then just booze there!!!

MIKAEL: As everything's already been done what you can do with those computers, it leaves you with nothing than boozing!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, dammit, there was realtime raytracing in the 64k intro by MFX...

kHanatik: Realtime raytracing, in Finnish, means, well, a kind of graphical technique, that, well...

MIKAEL: Seems your "multimedia fairs" don't have anything to give to any PC users who follow their time!

MIKAEL: Pirates should use their skills to like making games and not such useless demos you can't even play!

MIKAEL: And you should also upgrade your computers to at least 486, your 386s just make you hopeless drunkards...

kHanatik: We have sworn BY THE WHOLE HONOUR OF LIETEVESI AND THE POWERS OF DARKNESS, that we shall remain true and not upgrade our computers!

OH7MO: We're s'posed to have break now... but should we have the classes without a break, so y'all could get out earlier...?

MIKAEL: Yeah, we'd just waste the class time for fighting, when we could use it for something like learning Windows!

JANETZU: Yeah, right!!! I ain't even slightly interested in any of the computer fightings y'all got!!!

MILLA: Even Sam's become one terrible school-skipping racist skinhead in them there computer boozing circles!!

TIINA: They actually had a prohibition still in the summer, that they shouldn't go to the computer parties as they worship Satan there...

SANNA: They should at least go somewhere where they just booze normally and no normal stuff normal folks do!!!

JANETZU: Yeah, computer gangs are so much worse than moped gangs... all kinda Satan-worship and skinhead stuff and whatever role-playin' games!!

wHitedodge: Fuck, we should've brought some Amiga or C64 here and show with them to the lamers where the chicken pisses from!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, right, or at least some PC that can run Paimen... 'cause the fuckin' local lamers are so lame that they wouldn't get it with any less!!!

kHanatik: Bringing a PC would have given Mikael too many reasons to believe that the EGA computers of the computer classroom would require upgrading.

wArlord: Well, bringing an Amiga or C64 would've just strengthened his illusion that the scene would somehow just concentrate on the old gear...

wHitedodge: But it'd still be actually nice if the school computers at least had VGA!

OH7MO: We actually had to keep them as EGA screens 'cause that Auditek network requires digital connections and VGA is analog...

kHanatik: Nevertheless, bringing a more scene-credible computer could have prevented the presentation to progress into harmful topics.

OH7MO: Well, maybe I should've encouraged y'all to bring one, even though they actually are quite toyish computers...

kHanatik: I even assumed that there would be at least one worthwhile demo or intro for EGA-based PC computers.

wArlord: Well, I reckon the PC scene dinna really start very well until the VGA-based ones...

OH7MO: Yeah, y'all should really make such an EGA demo for some class, and y'all then gonna get the top grades, everbody of y'all.

OH7MO: We could then even copy it to the schools that still got the EGA gear, so they'd notice that ye can make multimedia with 'em also.

wArlord: Yeah, absolutely. We could like brake up that Microsoft upgrade propaganda a little bit, and even defend our fatherland at the same.

OH7MO: At least I and Aarne believe without question that y'all be the hope of Lietevesi and our whole country.

OH7MO: And we're gonna support everthang y'all ever come up with to oppose the marketfolks and to support true knowhow.