««- · CWU MEMOiRS 0x4A · -»»
========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x4A =========
DaTE: 1995-09-27 aT aBoUT 09:05
LoCATi0N: cOMpUTER cLASSRooM, LiETeVESi SCHOOL, FInLAnD
PrESeNT: mR.mEgAsTuFf / C00LeS WaReZ UNiON \ ThEsE SiT TOGeTHER
WaRe FuCKeR / C00LeS WaReZ UNiON /
- - -
nEopardy / cHAOS wORLD uNKNOWN \ tHEsE aLSO
kHanatik / cHAOS wORLD uNKNOWN /
wArlord / cHAOS wORLD uNKNOWN \ bWhaAHAHA wArlord MuST
MiKAEL dA WiNDOWS-LAMER / SiT WiTH HIM!!!!!
+ SoME oTHer STuDENTZ sUCh As JAnETZU
(bUT nOT MiKKO, jANi oR MoTHeR WaNKER)
RAUNO - dA SHITTIEST AND LAMEST COMPUTING TEACHER EVER!!!!!===========================================================================
RAUNO: The subject of this computing lesson is the InterNet.
RAUNO: How many of you has used InterNet?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: (Fuuck, this is what we'd been waitin' in horror...)
RAUNO: At least some of you think you have.
RAUNO: It is necessary for me to remind you here in the beginning, that I am the InterNet expert of this classroom!
RAUNO: That is, no one else will show off on this subject during my class! Is that clear?
RAUNO: MIKA, IS THAT CLEAR?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Let it fuckin' be this time, 'coz yar meanin' just some fuckin' graphical WWW by it...
RAUNO: What did I just say about showing off!?
RAUNO: But, let us begin.
RAUNO: Unfortunately, we can't yet try out the InterNet here at the school...
RAUNO: ... because the teachers have not yet received the necessary supplemental education.
RAUNO: We do not have the required equipment either -
WaRe FuCKeR: There's a mawdem there in the teacher's computer!
RAUNO: And how are you supposed to know that?
WaRe FuCKeR: There's a phone cable goin' from there!
RAUNO: There is no data modulator in the teacher's computer!
WaRe FuCKeR: Well, at least there was! I've seen!!!
RAUNO: Well... there actually was one earlier, but we had to remove it.
RAUNO: Via it, the classroom was attacked by some computer network criminals who planted some virii in our equipment.
WaRe FuCKeR: How did they do that!?
RAUNO: We will have to wait for the spring before answering this question.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: C00LeS WaReZ UNiON's got da best hacker skillz in da whole Lietevesi, and none of the shitty crews like cHAOS wORLD uNKNOWN -
RAUNO: Listen to me now, boys! We discussed this topic with Arto when removing the data modulator from teacher's processor.
RAUNO: He agreed with me that doing this kind of things requires at least a higher academic degree.
RAUNO: So, there's no way that some junior high school aged kids with their game clubs could not do it.
MIKAEL: Just like that, hear what the expert is talking!
wArlord: (Bloody hell, now that one opened his stove hatch too...)
RAUNO: Could I get back to the topic already?
RAUNO: Since we don't have a network connection available, we will go through the InterNet portion of the computer education purely in theory.
RAUNO: Our school has purchased a book called InterNet Guide, containing InterNet addresses related to various topics.
RAUNO: I have picked a hundred addresses you'll have to transcribe with a word processing program and then memorize at home.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: (Whatta fuck...)
JANETZU: (Meh, some boring InterNet, I wish there was at least Teletext...)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Whatta fuck did ya Jaana say 'bout Teletext?!?
JANETZU: That it's much better than some fuckin' borin' InterNet!! It's possible to chat with others there!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Guess ya don't know a lot 'bout InterNet if ya think that ya couldn't chat there...
JANETZU: Well, yar gotta fuckin' be some fuckin' expert to do that!! Teletext can even be used by normal folks...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Right, it's a damn lot easier to push number buttons than letters, bwahahah!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But yar somebody who fuckin' watches some Jyrki on TV, so can't expect a lot of understandin' from ya!
JANETZU: Well, at least ye don't need some ten-thousand-mark computer for that!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, ya don't need a ten-thousand-mark computer for Internet either, despite what some rich Helsinki folks would lie to ya!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And besides, if yar fuckin' addicted to some fuckin' Teletext and write there, then good luck for ya with that!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yar gonna get a bill that's so big that ya would get like three peecees and modems for them with that money!
JANETZU: Shut up there already...
WaRe FuCKeR: For real, our landline was shut down too in the spring when I -
JANETZU: IT'S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT THING!!!
RAUNO: SILENCE!
RAUNO: The channel three teletext probably is better for youth rampaging than InterNet that requires maturity and experties.
RAUNO: But during this class, we are handling adult people's systems and not any youngster's rampage services.
wArlord: (Oh, maturity and expertise ye say...)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: (Maturity and expertise, sumthing yar not gonna ever find from cHAOS wORLD uNKNOWN!! Right, WaRe FuCKeR?)
WaRe FuCKeR: (Just like that!)
wArlord: (Stop it there already, y'all ain't got nuffin' anymaw for real...)
RAUNO: Are you still whispering there? You'll get out of the classroom if you continue!
RAUNO: Now you can power up the computers and the Microsoft Word word processing program.
RAUNO: I am now showing you the first transparency containing InterNet addresses.
WaRe FuCKeR: (Fuckin' yuck, some Microsoft...)
MIKROPUHE: I, Mika Pirinen, am an untalented loser who knows nothing and would just like to fuck his sister Tiina. I, Mika Pirinen, am -
RAUNO: MIKA JA KASPER! WHAT GAME ARE YOU PLAYING ON THAT COMPUTER?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I ain't fuckin' done nuffin'!!!
WaRe FuCKeR: That came up there all on its own!!!
RAUNO: PUT THAT GAME AWAY!
RAUNO: Since the teacher's data modulator has been removed, this is no longer a virus attack by a hacker group.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Come here to fuckin' see it yarself! D'ya think this is some fuckin' game!?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: AND D'YA REALLY THINK THAT I'D MAKE SUMTHING LIKE THAT WHERE I'D USE THAT KIND OF NAME FOR MYSELF!?!?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: THIS IS AN ATTACK FROM cHAOS wORLD uNKNOWN!!!
WaRe FuCKeR: Control-alt-del ain't even workin', we should push the reset button!!!
RAUNO: Reset button will not be pushed before the leading computer teacher has given his approval for it. I must therefore bring him in.
WaRe FuCKeR: Yeah, we're gettin' to be alone -
RAUNO: You will get out of the class at the same time as I!!
RAUNO: But first you'll show me the game diskette you have with.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: We ain't got nuffin' like that!!
RAUNO: I see with my own eyes that you have! All others, get out of the classroom right now.
JANETZU: We should get the cabinet door open to get our bags...
RAUNO: Oh, right...
RAUNO: There you are, get your bags now.
kHanatik: Could I perhaps say something like cHAOS wORLD uNKNOWN WORLD DOMINATION 1995!
kHanatik: Our skills surpass those of C00LeS WaReZ UNiON a multitude of times!
wArlord: Bwahahahahah!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuck's sake, listen to him confessin' there! IT WASN'T ME OR KASSU!!!
WaRe FuCKeR: Just like that!
RAUNO: I'll get that data diskette from you, even by force!
RAUNO: But let's first wait for the other pupils to get out of the classroom...
RAUNO: SHUT THE DOOR IN A WAY THAT IT'LL LOCK UP!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Wonder whatta fuck yar havin' in yar mind...
RAUNO: Empty your pockets!
RAUNO: I'm still not seeing the data diskette. Take off your clothes then!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Whatta fuck dammit!
RAUNO: You're not getting away before a complete body search in the name of equipment security!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Man, I guess yar now exceedin' yar powers... I'm gonna fuckin' tell da headmaster!
RAUNO: YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT OF THE CLASSROOM BEFORE A BODY SEARCH!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, we're then gonna tell him afterwards.
RAUNO: You have nothing to prove against me with. The word of an adult teacher always weighs more than yours!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: God-fuckin'-dammit...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: BUT WE'RE GONNA PAY THIS BACK TO CHAOS IN SOME GODDAMN CRUEL WAY!!!
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