C00LeS WaReZ UNiON MeMOiRS: cHApTER #0x3D

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========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x3D =========

DaTE:     1995-08-08 aT aBoUT 19:00

LoCATi0N: dA aBANDoNeD fORtREsS oF oEoEkKoELaE, VaEaERaEpAE, LieTeVESi, FiNLaND

PrESeNT:  dRAGONcROW / cULT oF pOWER
	  mINDeAGLE / cULT oF pOWER
	  pHASERhAWK / cULT oF pOWER
	  tECHNOfALCON / cULT oF pOWER
	  mR.mEgASTuFf / C00LeS WaReZ UNiON
	  dArK sTuFfEr / C00LeS WaReZ UNiON
	  dA dARk WaNKeR / C00LeS WaReZ UNiON
	  WaRe FuCKeR / C00LeS WaReZ UNiON
	  MoTHeR WaNKeR / C00LeS WaReZ UNiON

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WaRe FuCKeR: (I'm nervous as hell...)

mR.mEgAsTuFf: (Shut up!)

mINDeAGLE: We are cULT oF pOWER.

mINDeAGLE: Tomorrow we shall definitely leave Lietevesi and shall never return.

mINDeAGLE: We shall therefore leave the responsibility of continuing our great work to you, oh C00LeS WaReZ UNiON.

dRAGONcROW: This is the master key of Lietevesi Junior highschool.

dRAGONcROW: It has given us a great power above what takes place in the school, and through that, the whole municipality of Lietevesi.

mINDeAGLE: This master key is the spectre of higher knowledge and understanding. cULT oF pOWER requires you to acknowledge its prestige while using it.

mINDeAGLE: Oh, mR.mEgAsTuFf, the leader of C00LeS WaReZ UNiON: do you promise to use it wisely?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yes, I will.

dRAGONcROW: Oh, mR.mEgAsTuFf, the leader of C00LeS WaReZ UNiON: receive this master key.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Thank you.

dRAGONcROW: This bag contains an Amiga 1200 computer.

mINDeAGLE: Amiga is also a key in its own way, a key to open higher levels of consciousness.

mINDeAGLE: Oh dArK sTuFfEr, the occult master of C00LeS WaReZ UNiON: do you promise to use it wisely?

dArK sTuFfEr: Yeah, I will.

dRAGONcROW: Oh, dArK sTuFfEr, the occult master of C00LeS WaReZ UNiON: receive this Amiga.

dArK sTuFfEr: Thank you.

dRAGONcROW: I, dRAGONcROW, the leader of cULT oF pOWERin, herefore declare you as the elitest group in Lietevesi.

dRAGONcROW: May all pitiful Atari and PC lamers tremble at your feet.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: We promise to handle our responsibility very well.

Brrrumm.

TF: Guess that was it now, 'cause even the thunder boomed to mark it!

WaRe FuCKeR: (Can we speak now?)

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Speak out then, as long as ya won't yell like a fire department siren -

WaRe FuCKeR: I MEAN WOW, WE'RE NOW THE ELITEST GROUP IN LIEVESI!!! ALL THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL LAMERS GONNA BE SO JEALOUS ABOOT US!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: (Fuckin' clown...)

TF: I've got some vodka from Tallinn for y'all boys.

TF: So, let's celebrate this by gettin' bloody blasted as hell.

MoTHeR WaNKeR: Now that vodka is really sump'n!

dRAGONcROW: We could maybe get to the side room...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay.

TF: Guess we ain't met afore yet.

TF: I'm TF, and I'm a kinda tech and telecom guy in Cop, and also the SysOp and CEO of Picture Planet.

TF: Guess ye were mR.mEgAsTuFf, but who's the rest of y'all?

dArK sTuFfEr: I'm dArK sTuFfEr.

TF: Oh, right, that's what ye were.

TF: By the way, yer quotas had been quite high a little too long once again!

TF: So, go clear a bit of yer extra files away afore the partition gets full -

dArK sTuFfEr: Err, I already cleaned up the home directory. Last evening.

TF: Oh, well, so I was recallin' sump'n else then.

TF: But that's not sump'n to worry aboot tonight! Tonight we're gonna drink vodka!

WaRe FuCKeR: I'm WaRe FuCKeR!

TF: I see.

dA dArK WaNKeR: I'm Jussi Hirvonen, or I mean dA dArK WaNKeR.

TF: And I guess yer MoTHeR FuCKeR then?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: WaNKeR.

TF: Oh, right, MoTHeR WaNKeR.

MoTHeR WaNKeR: Well, that's what they call me.

BRRRRUMM.

dA dArK WaNKeR: That's getting right over us for real...

WaRe FuCKeR: GUYS COME AND FUCKIN' LOOK AT THIS!!! SOME BLOODY HELLUVA CLOUDS!!! SOME BLOODY HELLUVA CLOUDS!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Have ya already taken the plugs off in Hönttölä?

dA dArK WaNKeR: Yeah, I went to shut down the board afore leavin', 'cause they had promised some thunderstorm in the forecast...

dRAGONcROW: It may be worthy to keep closer to the wall than the window, 'cause there's no lightning rod in this house.

WaRe FuCKeR: Damn, NO LIGHTNING ROD!! We could like DIE here!!! We could like DIE here!!!

TF: What aboot gettin' the first draught, WaRe FuCKeR...

WaRe FuCKeR: O-okay...

WaRe FuCKeR: *glug*

WaRe FuCKeR: NAWWW BLOODY HELL!!! IT BURNS!!! IT BURNS!!!

dRAGONcROW: Maybe we should've asked ye aforehand if ye've taken spirits afore.

WaRe FuCKeR: EWWW!! IT BURNS!!!

TF: Take some of the dilution juice on it, and it may get a bit easier...

WaRe FuCKeR: *glug* *glug* *glug*...

dA dArK WaNKeR: Guess he ain't drunk any alcohols afore but that kilju of our own.

WaRe FuCKeR: Yeah, I'm feelin' better now.

MoTHeR WaNKeR: Lemme show y'all now...

MoTHeR WaNKeR: *glug*

MoTHeR WaNKeR: It's quite good vodka, yeah!

TF: It's just the cheapest brand, to get the best bang for the price...

BRRRUMM!!!

WaRe FuCKeR: Goddammit, that hit just at us! I'm so afraid!!! So afraid!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, we'll soon get another round if ya dinna get drunk enuff now... *glug*

dArK sTuFfEr: *glug* *glug* *glug*

TF: Look at that, dude, ye took it for both legs!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: I've gotta beat that Christian lamer over there...

dA dArK WaNKeR: BEHAVE YERSELF THERE!

dA dArK WaNKeR: *glug*

dA dArK WaNKeR: Ewww...

DDW *glug* *glug*:

mR.mEgAsTuFf: They always turn drinkin' into some fuckin' religious war 'cause one of 'em is a Christian and the other a Satan worshipper...

dArK sTuFfEr: Satanist.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: All the same to me.

dArK sTuFfEr: They're fuckin' COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!!! Like OPPOSITES, ye fuckin' uneducated Church-member hillbilly!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Right.

pHASERhAWK: *glug* *glug*

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Are ya also gonna move away from Lietevesi now, pHASERhAWK?

pHASERhAWK: Yeah, I got to high school in Iisalmi. No way in hell would I start high school in like Pielavesi, it's almost as bad a jerkwater town as Lietevesi...

dA dArK WaNKeR: Yeah, so it might be, right...

dRAGONcROW: *glug glug*

mINDeAGLE: *glug*

TF: *glug glug*

TF: Didya all get yer draughts? WaRe FuCKeR's head spinnin' already?

WaRe FuCKeR: Well, maybe still not enuff.

TF: Now, that was man's talkin'! Start a second round then, but a bit more careful now...

WaRe FuCKeR: *glug*

WaRe FuCKeR: Ewww, yeah...

WaRe FuCKeR: But I guess I can handle that even without the juice...

MoTHeR WaNKeR: *glug* *glug*

mR.mEgAsTuFf: *glug* *glug*

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Didya plan for real that ya ain't ever comin' back to Lietevesi?

dRAGONcROW: Yeah, we ain't got nuffin' to do with here anymaw, as pHASERhAWK moves away and y'all continue our job.

dRAGONcROW: We're all gonna have lives in totally other towns after that.

pHASERhAWK: My parents are also movin' to Iisalmi from here, and dRAGONcROW's family to Siilinjärvi...

dRAGONcROW: Yeah, Jaakko, I mean my dad, got some position there...

dRAGONcROW: So, none of us ain't got no reasons to visit this jerktown anymaw.

dArK sTuFfEr: *glug* *glug*

dA dArK WaNKeR: Power from Lord Jesus!!!

dA dArK WaNKeR: *glug* *glug* *glug*

BRRRUMMM!!

dArK sTuFfEr: Man, yer still believein' in some fairy-tale creatures!

dA dArK WaNKeR: But there ye just saw how a "fairy-tale creature" answered me!

dA dArK WaNKeR: And if Jesus is fuckin' s'posed to be a fairy-tale creature, then yer Satan is one as well, dammit.

dArK sTuFfEr: Well, I don't really believe in Satan as a spiritual creature anymore, but more like in myself, like a good Satanist's s'posed to...

pHASERhAWK: *glug*

dRAGONcROW: *glug*

mINDeAGLE: *glug*

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But mINDeAGLE's gonna stay?

mINDeAGLE: The Koljonen family shall not leave this place, but I probably shall not visit my parents nearly as often as I used to.

dA dArK WaNKeR: Man, yer tawkin' in the formal speech even though ye hafta be drunk as hell...

mINDeAGLE: My advanced mind management skill facilitates this despite my state of ethanol intoxication.

TF: *glug*

TF: Right, what if we pause a bit with this bottle, it's some plucky stuff there.

WaRe FuCKeR: Feels quite good... not afraid at all anymaw!!!

TF: Good then...

MoTHeR WaNKeR: Hey, look at that door, fellas...

dRAGONcROW: For the fuck's sake, there's fire goin' wild in the kitchen!!!

dRAGONcROW: GET OUTTA HERE NOW!!! OPEN THE WINDOW!!!

TF: No fuckin' time to be that posh anymaw...

KRÄSH!

dRAGONcROW: NOW, OUTTA THE WINDOW, EVERYBODY!!!

WaRe FuCKeR: I DON'T FEAR ANYTHANG ANYMAW!!!

WaRe FuCKeR: OOF!

WaRe FuCKeR: Oh bloody hell, I fell on my arse in the bush...

dA dArK WaNKeR: But getta hell outta there so others will get out too!!

TF: MOVE YER ARSES THERE DAMMIT!!! THE FIRE'S ALREADY IN THIS ROOM!

dRAGONcROW: Everybody out already?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Is the Amiga in safety?

mINDeAGLE: Yes, I also saved the Amiga.

dRAGONcROW: Allright, let's get to the frontyard then...

TF: Put the Amiga in the car so it won't get wet.

mINDeAGLE: BEHOLD THIS BURNING HOUSE! YOU ARE NOW WITNESSING THE END OF AN ERA AND THE BEGINNING OF ANOTHER!

dRAGONcROW: I've got a bit sad feeling now...

mINDeAGLE: THE SPIRITS HAVE GIVEN A SIGN TO cULT oF pOWER!

TF: AFTER THIS DAY WE'RE NEVER GONNA COME BACK TO LIETEVESI!!! NEVER!!!

TF: Daaamn my legs that ain't bearin' me...

dRAGONcROW: It might be the best choice that mINDeAGLE drives if we still need a driver tonight... and he's gotta drive very carefully then!!

mINDeAGLE: I promise to exercise extreme caution due to my state of intoxication.

WaRe FuCKeR: Wow, I ain't never seen a burnin' buildin' from so close!!! WOWWW!!

dArK sTuFfEr: OH, THE ELITEST GROUP OF LIETEVESI, LOOK AT THIS BURNING HOUSE!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: IT'S THE FLAMES OF A NEW ERA!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: DO Y'ALL FEEL HOW WE'RE GETTIN' POWER FROM THERE!!!

WaRe FuCKeR: Yeah, at least I'm feelin'!!!

dA dArK WaNKeR: Could we get into the cowshed? 'Cause it might be a bit dangerous outside...

WaRe FuCKeR: I'M FEARIN' NUFFIN' ANYMAW!!! SISSIES GO TO THE COWSHED!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: It might be quite wise to go there...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Hell, my legs ain't bearin' me anymaw!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: ETERNAL LIFE TO C00LeS WaReZ UNiON!!!

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