««- · CWU MEMOiRS 0x35 · -»»
========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x35 =========
DaTE: 1995-06-29 aT aBoUT 13:00
LoCATi0N: kORpPiSLAMPi bEaCH, hAUtAtAIpALE, LieteVedEN kUnTA, FiNLAND
PrESeNT: mR.mEgAsTuFf / CWU
dArK sTuFfEr / CWU
dA dArK WaNKeR / CWU
MoTHeR WaNKeR / CWU
+ SoME sUrPRiSE LAmERS LatER!===========================================================================
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Allright...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Da official explanation we told to others was that we've gone for swimmin'...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But B'COZ THERE'S A HELLUVA BUNCHA THOSE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL KIDZ HERE AT DA BEACH we've gotta find another swimmin' place!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: (But our actual goal still is to get to Iisalmi...)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Have ya thought 'bout alternatives, MoTHeR WaNKeR?
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Ye might get from Sulkavajärvi to Keitele thru the river but 'coz there's them there waterfalls there and the river's otherwise quite shallow...
MoTHeR WaNKeR: The river from Katumajärvi to Pielavesi is even harder, so I reckon it might be best for us to start from the shore of Pielavesi.
dArK sTuFfEr: So, we chose the boat then?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Reijo has ordered those cop stops for real and even stolen some part from Osmo's Volkswagen and he can't get a replacement until next week!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Usually Osmo always has a replacement part for everything but now he lacked exactly that one -
dArK sTuFfEr: Our Wartburg was sabotaged too...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: So, he's now bein' extra sure 'bout everything in this, so WE'VE GOTTA BE GODDAMN ALERT with it!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: In which order would we try that shore?
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Maybe we'd try Pilkanlahti first?
dA dArK WaNKeR: Yeah, there's mostly just them there city-dweller cottages there, and the city-dwellers never gossip aboot nuffin' to nobody.
dA dArK WaNKeR: So, let's go there first, yeah.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Are we gonna go already?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Let's go then. Let's try to go at a bit different paces so it wouldna bring any extra attention.
dArK sTuFfEr: For me that'd come quite naturally, as y'all others have mopeds and I've just got a bicycle...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, it's good that Darkie's also got a Tunturi nowadays.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But yeah, let's see at the Pilkanniemi crossroads, and then put yar mopeds somewhere in da bush so they won't wake suspicions.
dA dArK WaNKeR: Allright, let's go then. See y'all.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: See y'all.
dArK sTuFfEr: Yeah, bye.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Bye.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: YA FUCKIN' BRATZ, WE'VE GOTTA TAKE ANOTHER BEACH JUST BECOZ OF YA!!!
...
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Why did we hafta put our Tunturis in them there bush?
dA dArK WaNKeR: Ye stoopid! If we steal a boat then of course the cops will know right away if they find our vehicles right next to the crime scene...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Allright, there's Stuffie comin', so let's start walking towards the tip of the cape...
dA dArK WaNKeR: Would we visit every yard?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: If we can't se a car or people there, then yeah.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: I'm hearin' such cryin' and shriekin' from there that we don't even need to check it to know if there's folks there...
dA dArK WaNKeR: These were some Manninens who've got this cottage here...
dA dArK WaNKeR: They've always got a helluva buncha gum toys ready-bought...
dA dArK WaNKeR: "We are city people, so we use our vacation as efficiently as possible with these summer products"... whatta heap of rotheads!
dA dArK WaNKeR: Always helluva hurry in the city and when they come out to get lazy then ye hafta be damn hurry aboot that too to try out all the toys...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: What 'bout that other hut there? At least there's no car outside...
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Wonder if there's a boat either?
dA dArK WaNKeR: I can go and look if y'all wait a moment for Jyri to saunter here...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay.
dArK sTuFfEr: Phew... Hi there...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Hi.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Man ye've got a helluva heap of thangs with ye! Are ye like movin' yer home?
dArK sTuFfEr: Well, I reckoned aboot preparin' for all possible situations...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, it's quite sensible to prepare for everything.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I assume ya Mothie got da Swiss army knife and lock-pickin' gear and others with ya yarself?
MoTHeR WaNKeR: I've always got all the basics!
dA dArK WaNKeR: There wusna boat there!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay, so next hut then...
dA dArK WaNKeR: Look out, there's a car comin'!
dArK sTuFfEr: Are we gonna hide?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: No, let's just be normally to avoid attention...
dArK sTuFfEr: Okey.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: It came from that big cottage. So we might just walk there right away...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: At least if there's been no party with many carfuls of people there...
dA dArK WaNKeR: I guess there's nuffin' like that there ever, it's just that one man named Jokela -
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Might be quite a rich chap for rulin' that kinda mansion all himself.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: So, straight towards da yard and da shore...
dA dArK WaNKeR: Fuck's sake, LOOK AT THAT BOAT!!!
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Heheheheh, all the rich city fags and their posh boats...
dA dArK WaNKeR: Such an over-the-top turbo speedboat, somebody fuckin' DARES!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I guess that even Reijo wouldn't buy that kinda boat from himself even though he has da money!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: He'd lose all his credibility for havin' such a city-fag boat at da shore...
dArK sTuFfEr: How are we gonna get it for us?
dA dArK WaNKeR: We'd maybe need them there lock-pickin' gear from Korhonen...
dArK sTuFfEr: How much time we've got?
dA dArK WaNKeR: Well, I guess he won't visit any closer than the town, so we've got at least half an hour.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Good time to get the boat to the waters.
dArK sTuFfEr: Dunno aboot that, 'cause there's a fuckin' CHAIN AND A LOCK.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: We'd need a circle saw...
dA dArK WaNKeR: A normal saw sould maybe go, 'cause it's a wooden dock...
dArK sTuFfEr: I'd say that a screwdriver would be enuff.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Oh, yeah, right, eheheheheh...
dA dArK WaNKeR: That man Jokela's bought a great ABLOY LOCK and then attached it to such a screw-connected widget...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: This man's plans ain't even close to Reijo's level.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: I'm gonna start screwin' right away.
dA dArK WaNKeR: No, let me screw, I've got a Swiss army knife of my own. Ye can try to get the engine runnin' in the meanwhile...
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Oh, right, there's an ignition switch here, like in cars! Allrighty then...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Let's jump in now, the rest of us!
dArK sTuFfEr: It's quite cramped here! Ain't here any place for the cargo?
dArK sTuFfEr: We should've just taken an ordinary rowin' boat that's got an outboard motor...
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Might be quickest to just break the ignition switch.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, luckily there are rear seats too and not just front seats.
dA dArK WaNKeR: The chain's now off!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Come aboard then! 'Coz I know that Mothie's fuckin' quick in da lock thingiez so da engine might be running on this minute...
MoTHeR WaNKeR: I guess it's just a moment away...
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Allright, cross yer fingers now!
dA dArK WaNKeR: Brummin' now!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yess!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Then nuffin' but "FULL IMPULSE POWER, ENGAGE"!
dA dArK WaNKeR: Whatta fuckin' acceleration! Guess it's got horsepowers like a small factory...
MoTHeR WaNKeR: We've got quite some skiff now! Where's we gonna drive it?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Let's get behind that island first, so that we won't be seen from those huts...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But yeah, what are our alternatives?
MoTHeR WaNKeR: At least that's given that we can't get to Iisalmi with this.
dArK sTuFfEr: Why not?
dA dArK WaNKeR: Ye stoopid, we ain't even in the same water system!
dA dArK WaNKeR: Pielavesi and all the Lietevesi lakes drain towars Päijänne, and the ones in Iisalmi and Kuopio towards Saimaa and Ladoga...
dArK sTuFfEr: Sounds like very good plannin' once again!
dArK sTuFfEr: It's ye who believe that yer god's designed all the water system routes with the highest possible superior wisdom-
dA dArK WaNKeR: Shut the fuck up there already.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Have we got any map with us?
dArK sTuFfEr: I might have...
dA dArK WaNKeR: Just believe me for good that ye can't get to Iisalmi thru water from here, unless ye take rounds from the Gulf of Finland...
dArK sTuFfEr: But I do believe it might be possible to find a shortcut that nobody else's come up with ever afore!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, at least ya can look at da map if ye come up with something.
dA dArK WaNKeR: Listen to me now! These water system's been used by folks for thousands of years so they know what can take ye where!
dA dArK WaNKeR: So, ye can't just glimpse at a map and find a shortcut from there!
dArK sTuFfEr: Christian sheep's talkin'! Just get a bit magickal power in and -
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, maybe we should assume that a direct water route would be too risky even if it exists.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: So, we've gotta get us to some bigger road with cars and hopefully buses goin' there.
dA dArK WaNKeR: So, it's either Pielavesi downtown or Säviä bridge.
dArK sTuFfEr: Towards the south nevertheless...
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Allright, just tell me then where to turn there after Kirkkosaari!
dA dArK WaNKeR: Might be worthy to go as near the east edge as possible, 'cause Lietevesi folks always drive to Pielavesi on the west side of the lake...
MoTHeR WaNKeR: The left-hand side then, right?
dA dArK WaNKeR: Yeah, but don't turn here yet...
dA dArK WaNKeR: Aim between them there islands there, and we'll stay quite well in the right direction and hidden as well!
MoTHeR WaNKeR: I believe I can do this, 'cause I've been boatin' here afore...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I fink we shouldn't go to Pielavesi and wait for a ride there.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: 'Coz it's quite a probably route that Reijo's gonna tell to da cops for sure... so, would we go and wait for a bus in Säviä?
dA dArK WaNKeR: What's ye ramblin' there? That road form Lietevesi connects to the Maaninka road just there in Säviä!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Oh, goddammit then! Good that ya noticed...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: So, allright, set course towards Pielavesi!
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Are we gonna downtown or somewhere else?
dA dArK WaNKeR: We could maybe leave the boat at Uitonsilta.
dA dArK WaNKeR: That Lepikontorppa road where Lietevesi folks take a shortcut to the downtown crosses stright after that bridge.
dA dArK WaNKeR: We could then walk to the bus stop that comes after it and wait there.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, a good idea...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Mister Navigator, set course to Uitonsilta!
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Allrighty-right.
dArK sTuFfEr: Would them buses also take that shortcut?
dA dArK WaNKeR: Oh, right, dunno aboot that... and I don't know if buses go there very often anyway.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, it might be the best to just hitch-hike there at the bus stop and just take the first ride that gets us.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: So we won't gather attention for too long...
dArK sTuFfEr: What's we gonna say to that there driver?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Let's say like we're gonna go to Siilinjärvi. Let's not mention Iisalmi with a single word, 'coz ya never know 'bout da gossips...
dA dArK WaNKeR: It sounds quite a heap improbable that somebody drivin' from Keitele to Maankinka would've heard aboot us?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Even a small probability is a probability, and we can't underestimate Reijo's cunnin'!
MoTHeR WaNKeR: I guess it's totally news stuff if some citylord's speedboat's been stolen? So he might very well have heard aboot it!
dArK sTuFfEr: We've taken one helluva risk now...
dArK sTuFfEr: Well, it's good that I uploaded my compotune to Syntetik, so he can enter it in the compo even if I can't get to Juhla myself...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And speakin' 'bout Juhla... guess who's fuckin' gettin' to Juhla with a permission and everything!
dArK sTuFfEr: Don't try to suggest that Tim would be goin' there...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: TIM'S GETTIN' THERE, THAT'S RIGHT!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Tim's not even really interested in da party, but maybe Reijo told him to visit it JUST FOR FUCKIN' TEASIN' ME!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: To get me even more pissed than before...
dArK sTuFfEr: Yeah, it sounds like ye need psychic tolerance with that man and not just the physical one, just like mINDeAGLE said...
dA dArK WaNKeR: But I reckon y'all dinna learn enuff yoga levitation to fly to Iisalmi...?
dArK sTuFfEr: We did talk a bit aboot astral travel that ye get to do once yer at a high enuff level in meditation...
dA dArK WaNKeR: All kindsa bulldungish stuff...
dArK sTuFfEr: I'm also a bit suspicious aboot that... But ye don't even need to get to the high levels on the other hand!
dArK sTuFfEr: It's well enuff to master the basic concentration that opens up all the most important mental powers...
dArK sTuFfEr: But well, it's all in vain to explain this stuff to such a skeptic lamer.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Hey, by the way, were there thunder forecasts for da weekend? What 'bout if there's gonna be one?
dA dArK WaNKeR: At least Warie is at home, so he can take the board down if the storm's gettin' above us.
dA dArK WaNKeR: I gave him the key and promised that there's a real responsibility task now. He was all excited...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Oh, right, at least if he remembers to put the board back up...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Or well, da most important here is that we won't break da board machine and especially not da modem.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: There's now yer Uitonsilta there, misters!
dA dArK WaNKeR: It might be the safest bet to go under it and then park the boat in the left-side shore.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: At least there's a dock there...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Let's rather put it in some bush.
dA dArK WaNKeR: It's such a fuckin' straight pass that they can see us from the bridge!
dArK sTuFfEr: Accordin' to the map there's some side brook startin' from over there...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay, let's drive there then.
dA dArK WaNKeR: Now, there's a quite fittin' bush there.
dA dArK WaNKeR: So, let's just take the living-standard buzzer ashore there and just walk to the road there as if nuffin had happened!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: We're gonna need more than one guy to push it then!
dA dArK WaNKeR: I'll throw my pants away to avoid havin' a laundry day.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And let's be quiet then to avoid too much attention...
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Allright, now I reckon it'll stay ashore.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: So, let's then get to the road and wait for the limousine, my dear sirs!
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Fuck yerself already with them there sirs...
dArK sTuFfEr: It's one helluva steep hill...
dA dArK WaNKeR: I can help with yer baggage.
dArK sTuFfEr: Is it our plan to get to Siilinjärvi for real, if we get there?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, at least there's a railway station there, with trains going towards the 977 area code many times per day...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: So, it's always better if we get as far as there, than havin' to wait in some fuckin' Maaninka.
dArK sTuFfEr: What aboot if the driver starts askin' aboot us? What would we say?
dA dArK WaNKeR: We could say that we're from Siilinjärvi, so he wouldna have any reason to take us to somewhere else.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, good idea. We'd supposed to have been in Pielavesi with some friends of us.
dArK sTuFfEr: What aboot the worst case scenario? Like, if he realizes that the cops are after us...?
dA dArK WaNKeR: Sounds like quite far-fetched...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: We've gotta absolutely prepare for that as well!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I'm actually ready to attack the driver if he tries t ostop us from gettin' to Juhla!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: GETTIN' TO JUHLA IS NOW RIGHT DA ONLY PRIORITY OF CWU, AND NONE OF DA CONSEQUENCES MATTER AS LONG AS WE'LL GET THERE!!!
dA dArK WaNKeR: I guess it's surely gonna be nicey to get there, but I've got other priorities in my life as well...
dArK sTuFfEr: Yeah, there'll be other demoparties if we won't get to this one.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Chewin' that there bulldung once again.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well then, IF YA FUCKIN' SISSIES ARE NOT READY TO USE VIOLENCE TO GET TO JUHLA, THEN AT LEAST I AM!!!
dA dArK WaNKeR: Now there's a car comin'!
dArK sTuFfEr: It stops!!!
KUSKI: Where are y'all boys goin'?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: To Siilinjärvi...
KUSKI: I'm drivin' t'wards Maaninka, so y'all get up to there.
KUSKI: So, if that's enuff for y'all, then jump in, plenty of room...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: That's all fine...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Can we get Stuffie's backpack somewhere in the back?
KUSKI: Guess there's room in the trunk, just open it...
dArK sTuFfEr: It's in there now.
KUSKI: What's y'all boys gonna do in Siilinjärvi?
dArK sTuFfEr: We live there, now headin' back home...
KUSKI: So, visitin' Pielavesi, with big backpacks and everything?
dA dArK WaNKeR: Yeah... with our friends... visitin' Pielavesi...
KUSKI: My name's Pena, by the way.
dA dArK WaNKeR: Allright, I'm Jussi, and there's Mika, and Matti, and Jyri...
PENA: Yep-yep, nice to meet y'all.
RADIO: Radio Suomi, Kuopion Iänj!
PENA: Are y'all boys going to that there Siilinjärvi junior high school?
dArK sTuFfEr: Yeah... startin' the eighth grade...
PENA: It's quite a big school there, how many kids has it got there anyway?
dA dArK WaNKeR: Yeah, it is...
dArK sTuFfEr: Guess it's got many hundreds of pupils...
RADIO: Kuopion Iänj regional news.
RADIO: A speedboat has been stolen from a summer cottager in the village of Hautataipale in Lietevesi.
RADIO: Lietevesi police suspects a local group of boys that is known to have run away.
RADIO: Those who know about the issue are asked to immediately contact Lietevesi police.
PENA: All these today's youths!
PENA: By the way, if ye wanna run away from Lietevesi with a boat, then I guess it's the best bet to get towards Pielavesi.
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah, or Keitele-
dArK sTuFfEr: We don't really know aboot them, 'cause we ain't from here...
PENA: Yeah, ye'd get to Keitele from there as well! Guess ye've been lookin' at the map 'cause ye know aboot the water systems.
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Well, I've been fishin' there...
PENA: Y'all boys ain't noted or heard aboot if there'd be such a boy gang visitin' Pielavesi?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: We ain't heard nuffin' 'bout such a thing.
dA dArK WaNKeR: Yeah, a total news for us...
PENA: I too did this as a young boy, "borrowed" all kindsa boats and tractors with my friends!
PENA: And we also take girls to the rides, 'twas some hard currency to fool aroond a bit like that.
dA dArK WaNKeR: Yeah, might've been that, yeah.
PENA: And once we even went to Maaninka town and robbed some travel money from the Co-operative Bank there!
PENA: 'Twas so full of all kindsa fumblin', my youth.
dArK sTuFfEr: Yeah...
PENA: But I just warn y'all boys that don't ever get the criminal path!
PENA: But there's some small wrongdoin' in everybody's youth, so just tell me and I understand...
dA dArK WaNKeR: Guess we won't tell...
PENA: Even if there's sump'n to tell? Heheheh, ye can keep secrets in the young age if ye want...
dArK sTuFfEr: Right.
PENA: Hey, hear me now, we're now gettin' to Maaninka. I'm just gonna do one business there and then drive y'all to the roadside.
PENA: Y'all can continue yer trip t'wards Siilinjärvi easily from there.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah.
PENA: Just a few minutes, just wait there peacefully...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: (Hey, whatta fuck, he brought me to the cop station! OUTTA HERE, QUICKLY!!)
dArK sTuFfEr: Canna open this door!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: This ain't gonna open either!
dA dArK WaNKeR: He's fucken put on some child safety lock!
dA dArK WaNKeR: Can't even open the driver's door, goddammit!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: FUCK! D'ya have any way to break da window?
MoTHeR FuCKeR: I ain't got any hammers with me...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: How long would it take from ye to bypass the ignition switch?
MoTHeR FuCKeR: It may be a bit hard 'cause my Swiss army knife's there in the trunk...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: WHY IN DA FUCK DIDYA PUT IT THERE!!! FUCKIN' FUCKIN' FUCK!!!
dA dArK WaNKeR: Now there's Pena comin' there with the policemen.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: GET READY FOR BATTLE!!!
POLIISI: What's them there boys yellin' aroond here?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: YA WON'T GET US! WE WILL DEFEND OUR RIGHTS WITH OUR LIVES!!!
POLIISI: I would've just peacefully questioned y'all, 'cause there's a wrongdoin' taken place aroond here.
POLIISI: That why it's good to question everbody, but now it's already become resistance towards authorities, so -
mR.mEgAsTuFf: JUST TRY TO ATTACK US, GODDAMMIT, AND WE'LL SHOW YA!!!
POLIISI: Allright then, let's get this rascal handcuffed then, 'cause talkin' ain't enuff.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: BLOODY FUCK!!!! GODDAMMIT!!!!
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