««-  · CWU MEMOiRS 0x30 · -»»

========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x30 =========

DaTE:     1995-06-04 aT aBoUT 15:00

LoCATi0N: HöNtTÖLäN aUTiOTaLo, hAUtAtAIpALE, LieteVedEN kUnTA, FiNLAND

PrESeNT:  mR.mEgAsTuFf / CWU
          dArK sTuFfEr / CWU
          WoRLD HeR0 / CWU
          dA dArK WaNKeR / CWU
          WaRe FuCKeR / CWU

===========================================================================

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Are there lotsa new users in Frontline?

dA dArK WaNKeR: Well, four new users today already! Sump'n to brag aboot.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, people's clearly wakin' up to da existence of such a new laid-back 24H board on da 97X area...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Where ya use true handlez and no fuckin' realname shit!

WaRe FuCKeR: And there's damn lotsa new message-writers come to CWUnet also!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, guess da gangs got tired 'bout the nazi policies of FakeNet... Many have said they switched over to CWUnet 'coz of 'em.

WaRe FuCKeR: What's come there into that there FakeNet?

dA dArK WaNKeR: There's a helluva buncha new rules in their rules file, maybe due to them fakings and stuff we've been doin'.

dA dArK WaNKeR: Nowadays for instance every GateNet board's gotta fake-check its users afore they get the write access fo GateNet...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: FAKENET goddammit!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But yeah, I guess that's our tuffest achievement so far, that fuckin' picky realname enforcement they shoot themselves in their legz with!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Who cares 'bout some PC-top, that kinda manipulation of people is so much tuffer!!

dA dArK WaNKeR: Wish the whole of that net would just die out... and all the sensible users would get to CWUnet from there!

dA dArK WaNKeR: The moderators on the other hand could get to that there FidoNet to wank aroond with their regulations and paragraphs...

dA dArK WaNKeR: "Nennenneh nennenneh, high-level messaging absolutely requires the use of the official christening names!"

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Right, what a bunch of vatheads!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I really hope that we'd also get tarnel to da CWUnet side, now that CWU-membaz can no longer write to FakeNet at all.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: It would maybe help if there was a 95X node in CWUnet?

dArK sTuFfEr: In that case we should change our policies, to allow other than full-CWU-members to have their boards in CWUnet...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, or loosen da rulez for da dist members.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ya saw SYnTETiK DaRKNeSS live on da x-mas holiday so he got to be a full member, but none of us has seen someone like DiCKiNSTASiA yet...

dA dArK WaNKeR: I reckon we could take him in 'cause SYnTETiK DaRKNeSS knows him live.

dArK sTuFfEr: Well, actually if we're against the FakeNet rule hell, then we could remove the whole CWU rule altogether...

dA dArK WaNKeR: But I reckon we should tawk with 'em 95X area folks a bit afore we let them into our net.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, da most important here is anyway that da sysop of da CWUnet host board is as adept as ya!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ya can keep the system intact well and even make kilju!

dA dArK WaNKeR: Dunno if that there kilju ended up any good...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: We'll see it soon!

dA dArK WaNKeR: Korhonen's kilju could be maybe like ten times better stuff...

dA dArK WaNKeR: But since that fella no more wants to meet any "computer sissies" he rather makes his kilju for the townfolks!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, it's a pity that our best kilju and lock-pickin' dood has taken such a distance from us.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But hey, it's also good that ya brought that boxing bag here to da house so that we can practice some real fightin'!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I still ain't got no fuckin' chance against Syphie even though he's such an old gaffer!!

dA dArK WaNKeR: I've heard stories that he's also been practicin' some powerlifts...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, Reijo's got some secret room nobody else's got a key for, and there's some gym gear there and others too...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: There's not even window in that room, so nobody can spy what stuff he's got there.

WaRe FuCKeR: He's just such a total prick, that there REijo! Goddammit!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, ONE FUCKIN' ROUND-CROOKED SADIST, DAMMIT!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Like, my grade of five wasn't enuff for him, so he started a real nazi show...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: He first pulled my hair, then beat me with a leash, and then let me hang upside down for half an hour...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: And then fuckin' put up a "COMPLETE PROHIBITION FOR USE OF COMPUTERS" he's also gonna monitor!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: He'll start askin' all of yar parents if I've been usin' yar computers.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: He said computer and especially modem destroy my school success and I also get some dangerous influence from there.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: So, if he ever hears I've used a computer somewhere, then he'll put me to house arrest for da rest of da summer and never lets me see ya either!!

dA dArK WaNKeR: For God's sake!!!

dA dArK WaNKeR: And this never applies to Tim, right...?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I heard Tim's a totally different thing, and he can freely keep up that Fakehouse and call that fuckin' Doom and Descent da whole day...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: It's s'posed to be just a good thing in Tim's case!

dArK sTuFfEr: Fuckin' double standards there, as with all Christians...

dA dArK WaNKeR: KEEP YER MOUTH DAMMIT!

WaRe FuCKeR: Christians are all just like that there Reijo, for real!!

WaRe FuCKeR: Luckily my mum and dad are Orthodox and not Lutherans, even though they're also -

dA dArK WaNKeR: What aboot lettin' go with them religious wars, dammit!?

dA dArK WaNKeR: I've made the kilju for y'all WITH THE CONDITION that we won't start tawkin' 'boot religion and especially not satan-worshipping and other witchery!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Allright, so maybe some other time then.

WaRe FuCKeR: Okey, sorry, allrighty...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But yeah, there's still a thing 'bout Reijo: he's gonna open discussion at da village meeting that computers ruin da youth!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: And he's gonna convince all of yar parents to prohibit ya from usin' computers, just like he prohibited me!

WoRLD HeR0: Luckily my parents never go to the meetings...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: O-H-7-M-O promised to go there this time to speak for us, but dunno if they listen to him...

dArK sTuFfEr: And I really hope that my dad would skip the meeting at least this time...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: FUCKIN' FUCK!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Try to tell that Taisto to stay home AT LEAST THIS TIME dammit!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: Yeah, it won't matter much to us if he gets a commie reputation for the Höttövaara road or sump'n...

dArK sTuFfEr: But that's a bit worse if the whole village starts regardin' computers as some communist rot!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I mean, fuckin' hell!!

WaRe FuCKeR: Couldna we like poison that there Taisto so that he wouldna get to the meeting??

dArK sTuFfEr: Well, based on what I've seen from that man in the last fourteen years, he totally won't quit his mission despite how bad his condition is.

dArK sTuFfEr: It just makes him more eager to get to the "barricades"... even if his whole body was plaster-cast, it just gives him more power to fight!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuck then, I'm gonna warn OH7MO for that as soon as I can!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: So he could fink 'bout some tactics for not gettin' grouped to da same gang as fuckin' TAISTO KUUSINEN!!!

dA dArK WaNKeR: It'd be so fuckin' hard if we soon get to do everthang in secret...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: For this reason, we must keep especially da board machine as a secret as long as we can!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuck, just as we're gettin' some real fame on da 97X board scene, then SOME FUCKIN' REDNECK ZEALOTS SABOTAZE DA WHOLE THING GODDAMMIT!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: And, by the way... WaRe FuCKeR...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I ASSUME YA FUCKIN' WANKY-RAT AIN'T MENTIONED A SINGLE WORD 'BOUT OUR BOARD MACHINE TO TERTTU AND PENTTI??? RIGHT???

WaRe FuCKeR: I-i haven't...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: AND KEEP KEEPIN' YAR MOUTH SHUT 'BOUT IT THEN!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Talk 'bout that there Tomhet of yars, now that ya've still got da permit to keep it up!

WaRe FuCKeR: O-okey...

dA dArK WaNKeR: This stuff is gettin' so heavy that what aboot openin' the first canister of kilju...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, good idea.

dA dArK WaNKeR: That cap's so helluva tight...

dA dArK WaNKeR: NOW!

dA dArK WaNKeR: BLOODY HELL!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: At least it's explodin' just like MoTHeR WaNKeR's kilju, so guess it's the true thang!

dA dArK WaNKeR: Eww...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Gimme too...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: (glug)

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Naww-ewww, it's some true poison, but guess it'll make us drunk and that's the main point...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: (glug glug)

WaRe FuCKeR: What if there's some poison come there for real???

WaRe FuCKeR: Dunno if I dear... I'm scared...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Now shut up and drink, or yar gonna fly outta da crew!!!

WaRe FuCKeR: O-okey...

WaRe FuCKeR: (glug glug)

WaRe FuCKeR: Ewww....

WoRLD HeR0: (glug glug)

WoRLD HeR0: It tastes a little bit spoiled, yeah...

dArK sTuFfEr: Wonder if COP had some good HPA doc for makin' kilju?

dArK sTuFfEr: (glug glug)

dArK sTuFfEr: Right, there's a lot of room for improvement still!

dA dArK WaNKeR: Fuck it, I've got no experience from many batch of kilju yet...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But who cares, I can't take this sober!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Stuffie, would ya pass da canister to Darkie and start a new round?

WaRe FuCKeR: D-do I hafta?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, at least I'm gonna drink even for them who start sissyin' around...

dA dArK WaNKeR: (glug glug)

mR.mEgAsTuFf: (glug glug glug glug)

WaRe FuCKeR: I'm gonna skip...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, ya can pass this round, but then ya've gotta take it back next round...

WaRe FuCKeR: Okey...

WoRLD HeR0: (glug glug)

dArK sTuFfEr: Hear me, Warie, this is a kinda fire-test where we test if a man is a man or not! Look when I show ye...

dArK sTuFfEr: (glug glug glug glug glug glug)

dArK sTuFfEr: Ewwww, GOD- I MEAN SATAN-BLOODY-DAMMIT!!!

dA dArK WaNKeR: Be careful with that drinkin'...

dArK sTuFfEr: I'm gettin' power from Satan... *hick*...

dArK sTuFfEr: I don't need no Christian carefulness... bloody hell...

dArK sTuFfEr: BURP

dA dArK WaNKeR: THE BATTLE OF SPIRITS!!!

dA dArK WaNKeR: (glug glug glug glug glug glug)

dA dArK WaNKeR: Eeeeh, goddamn with it...

dA dArK WaNKeR: I managed to keep it in! PRAISE LORD JESUS FOR THIS!!! CHRISTIANS LEADING, ONE-NIL!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: Bloody fuck!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: Gimme back that canister and I'll show...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: IT'S MY TURN NOW, DAMMIT!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: (glug glug glug)

dArK sTuFfEr: More Children of Satan to our side... *hick*... we've got the superiority against Christians in this crew!

dA dArK WaNKeR: That ain't fair!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: Well, that there Reijo religion of yers ain't fair either...

dA dArK WaNKeR: WHATTA FUCKIN' REIJO RELIGION???

dA dArK WaNKeR: D'YE WANNA PIECE OF ME, BLOODY HELL???

WaRe FuCKeR: (glug glug)

WaRe FuCKeR: Nawww-ewww...

WaRe FuCKeR: BURRRP

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Right there, bonus points to Warie! Ye ain't no sissy 'coz ye ... *hick*... dared to take...

WaRe FuCKeR: I dare to take as much as I want!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: Guess Tossavainen's kilju's already up in his head, 'cause he started to "blabber backwaters shit".

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Damn, did I??

dArK sTuFfEr: Yeah, it's always when yer drunk enuff, ye switch to Savonian...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Shit of shits, I've gotta be more careful with that! That's fuckin' embarrassin'!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But that'd be yar turn again, Stuffie.

dArK sTuFfEr: Allrighty, now LET OUR LORD SATAN GIVE ME THE POWER TO OPPOSE THE EFFECTS OF THIS KILJU MADE BY A SHEEP OF CHRIST!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: (glug glug glug glug)

dArK sTuFfEr: Eerwwrghhghh....

dArK sTuFfEr: There, it's now ONE-ONE!

dA dArK WaNKeR: (glug glug glug)

dA dArK WaNKeR: Bloody FUCKIN' DAMN...

dA dArK WaNKeR: BURRRP

dA dArK WaNKeR: Bloody hell...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: My turn...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: (glug glug glug)

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Bloody dammit...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: BURRPPP

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Guess it's a real day of bonus points today!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: FUCKIN' REIJO'S TRYIN' TO DESTROY OUR CREW!!! AND KERTTU ALSO!!!

WaRe FuCKeR: Kerttu, how so...?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Crinkly-face gave me that five from Finnish language, while my other number were quite good...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: So, IT'S CRINKY-KERTTU'S GUILT ALONE THAT REIJO GOT MAD AT ME AND STARTED TO NAZI UP SOME HELLUVA PROHIBITIONS!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: BURRRPP

dArK sTuFfEr: Speaking of Kerttu... where was my bag again?

dArK sTuFfEr: Allright, guys, look at this!

WaRe FuCKeR: Wowww, that's really c00l!!!

WoRLD HeR0: Allright...

dA dArK WaNKeR: DO I HAFTA REMIND Y'ALL WHAT Y'ALL PROMISED TO ME?

dArK sTuFfEr: Oh, now I recall, well...

WaRe FuCKeR: Couldna we make a voodoo ritual now, pleeze pleeze??? Couldna we make -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: We promised that we'd do this some other time, but...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Who's leading da battle of spirits?

dArK sTuFfEr: Satan-worshippers are leadin'...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Allright, that means CHRISTIAN'S WORD IS THUS NULLIFIED! KERTTU MUST BE DESTROYED NOW OR NEVER!!!

WaRe FuCKeR: Yeah, FUCKIN' KERTTU DAMMIT!!!

WaRe FuCKeR: Are we gonna make a ritchie already PLEEZE, are we gonna make a ritchie, ritty -

dA dArK WaNKeR: If y'all break yer promise now, then I'M GONNA GETTA HELL OUTTA THE WHOLE CREW!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Don't go yet... yar needed, yar our kilju master and board master...

dArK sTuFfEr: We don't need no fuckin' Christian nowhere!!

dArK sTuFfEr: Even I could make better kilju with some true HPA docs from the occult scene, so FAREWELL THERE, ye fuckin' crusader sheep!

dA dArK WaNKeR: I'd just like to remind y'all that Frontline is A BOARD CONFIGURED BY MYSELF, so I've got the copyright for it... *hick*...

dA dArK WaNKeR: So, if I'm gonna leave the crew, then the Frontline configs are gonna leave too!

dA dArK WaNKeR: And yer also gotta pay back all the marks I put into yer board money collection!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: That's what ye might fuckin' think...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: D'ya have da key for da board room?

dA dArK WaNKeR: At home...

dArK sTuFfEr: CHRISTIAN LIES!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: YE ALWAYS HAVE ALL THE KEYS IN THE SAME CHAIN, I KNOW!!!

dA dArK WaNKeR: Fuck... JUST TRY TO TAKE 'EM AWAY FROM ME!!! OR YER GONNA GET SOME OF MY FIST!!!

dA dArK WaNKeR: TUMPS

mR.mEgAsTuFf: ATTACK HIM!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: BLOODY HELL, OWWCH!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: YE BLOODY BASTARD, PUNCHED ME SO BLOODY HARD!!!

dA dArK WaNKeR: THAT WAS JUST THE STARTERS...

dArK sTuFfEr: I'M COMIN' FOR HELP!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: TUMPS

WaRe FuCKeR: Naw-naw-naw-naw... don't start fightin' for real -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: TUMPS TUMPS

dArK sTuFfEr: TUMPS!

dA dArK WaNKeR: OWWCH!! YE FUCKIN' BASTARD STROKE MY BALLIES DAMMIT!!! YER GONNA BE PAID BACK!!!

dA dArK WaNKeR: TUMPS!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: TUMPS!

dArK sTuFfEr: TUMPS! TUMPS!

WaRe FuCKeR: I'm coming to help tooo...

WaRe FuCKeR: TUMPS!

dA dArK WaNKeR: It's fuckin' three against one!!! AIN'T FAIR!!!

WoRLD HeR0: (Psst, I got his keys taken from him...)

mR.mEgAsTuFf: GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE, YOU TRAITOR LAMER!

dA dArK WaNKeR: Fuckin' hell then, I'm goin'...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: LONG LIVE THE GLORY OF SATANIC FORCES!

dArK sTuFfEr: OUR CREW HAS NOW BEEN PURGED... *hick*... FROM THE BLOOD OF THE ROTTENING CHRIST!

WaRe FuCKeR: Would our magicks now start workin' for real?

dArK sTuFfEr: I would say that Satan is now pleased at us!

WaRe FuCKeR: Would we do a voodoo ritchie right now, pleeze pleeze?? Would we -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, let's do...

dArK sTuFfEr: I've got a knife with me...

dArK sTuFfEr: At some point we could like draw permanent circles and pentagrams on the floor with crayons!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, that'd be tuff...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But wouldya draw da circle now?

dArK sTuFfEr: Allright...

dArK sTuFfEr: THE RITUAL IS STARTING NOW!!!

WaRe FuCKeR: Yeaahh!!! So excited...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: (Shut up!)

dArK sTuFfEr: IN THE NAME OF SATAN, OUR LORD, WE ARE NOW GOING TO DESTROY THIS VOODOO DOLL, THATS DEPICTS SUBJECT TEACHER KERTTU KORHONEN!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: OH, SATAN, OUR LORD: EVERYTHING WE DO TO THIS DOLL, SHALL, BY YOUR GRACE, ALSO HAPPEN TO ITS MODEL!!! IÄ, IÄ!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: RAAGGGHHH!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: Well attacked, my brother in Satan! LET THE RAGE GROW!!!

WaRe FuCKeR: May I hack it with the knife also??

dArK sTuFfEr: HAVE THIS!!! AND THIS, AND THIS!!!

WaRe FuCKeR: RRRAAAGGGHH!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: LET'S RIP HER EYES OFF!!! SO SHE BECOMES BLIND!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: Yeah, good idea... TO THE NAME OF OUR LORD SATAN!!!

WaRe FuCKeR: TO THE NAME OF OUR LORD SATAN, JUST LIKE THAT!!!

dArK sTuFfEr: THERE'S NO LIMIT TO MY RAGE!!!

WaRe FuCKeR: I'm gonna check out the window if there's some explosions in the town already...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuckin' clown, don't ya believe there ain't nuffin' like that...

WaRe FuCKeR: THIS IS SO POWERFUL MAGICK THAT IT MIGHT SHOW LIKE THAT FOR REAL!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But let me attack her one more time!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: CRINKLY-KERTTU, YAR GUILTY FOR ALL DA BAD THAT'S HAPPENIN' IN MY LIFE!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: YAR LIKE SUCH A TOTAL "ULTIMATE ENEMY" I'M NOW GONNA DESTROY!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: RAAAAAHHHH!!!

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