C00LeS WaReZ UNiON MeMOiRS: cHApTER #0x21

========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x21 =========

DaTE:     1995-01-02 aT aBoUT 17:35

LoCATi0N: hUkkASuON vAJA, hAutAtAiPALe, LiEtEvEdEN KuNTA, FiNLAND

PrESeNT:  mR.mEgAsTuFf   wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY
          dA dArK ELiTE  wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY
          WaRe FuCKeR    wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY
          MoTHeR FuCKeR  wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY
          dArK sTuFfEr   wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY
          WoRLD HeR0     wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY

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dA dArK ELiTE: Lemme guess now: it's now the time for a super-secret emergency meetup where we'll plan out how to get laid.

MoTHeR FuCKeR: And again we got to dig thru a meter-thick field of snow dammit! Let it be the last time -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: C00LeS WaReZ UNiON's next plan indeed is that EVERY FUCKIN' ONE OF US WILL GET LAID BEFORE DA SUMMER HOLIDAY! And THIS GOAL NOW GETS DA PRIORITY BEFORE ALL OTHER GOALS!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Da testosterone hicks in da town no longer appreciate any warez or code emperorship -

dArK sTuFfEr: Does it matter so much what they appreciate? Ain't we just more elite and they don't get it?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: It's now 'bout da street credibility and not any insider circle-jerker eliteness!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I've started to feel that da C.O.P. guys would be a gang of circle-jerkers. Guess they haven't gotten laid either!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: If we went to ask 'em, they'd prolly respond like "we've risen to a high astral level where the material pussy no longer matters to us"... FUCK!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay okay then, we could just ask pHASERhAWK tomorrow at school if they've gotten laid.

dA dArK ELiTE: Dunno aboot Eerola, but at least the Pennanen has a relationship?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But I don't believe he'd still accept da pussy from her, 'coz "I have an Amiga in my heart, so I don't -"

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Have ya ever thought ya might have a too worshipful relationship to those computer idols of yars?

dArK sTuFfEr: They ain't just computer idols, 'coz they've clearly got some skills that work even in the real life... with Amiga-only software -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay okay then, maybe we don't lose anything if we ask. But that pussy's gotta be real I-R-L pussy and not any fuckin' Internet pussy!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: It may be easy to imagine that there'd be some pussy on the I-R-C 'coz there's so many chicks on #freenet and elsewhere...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But I believe they're all fake and even if they ain't then they're some fuckin' ugly butt-faced specky-heads!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Girls can't find their way to da Internet unless they're total no-life-loserz or then fuckin' ugly.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: We've also gotta reduce our modem use anyway now that da darkboxes no longer work.

dArK sTuFfEr: I was talkin' aboot some real magickal methods that work in the real life, not aboot any Internet!

dArK sTuFfEr: All the tuff crewz have HPA techniques related to just aboot everythang...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, right, they may have some HPA tricks, yeah, ya don't lose anything if ya ask. I don't believe they'll start spreading any rumors becoz of that...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Oh, yeah, right, he promised to check it... but forget those phreakingz for a moment! GETTING LAID IS NOW DA PRIORITY!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: We've gotta narrowed down da town-dwellers' pussy-lead before we can think 'bout any of these!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, "HPY stuff" right, hacking/phreaking/yhdistys, learn to speak ya fuckin' howlermouth...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But what if I took yar modem away? At least then ya wouldn't get any extra billz and ya should also concentrate on da IRL pussy instead of da IRC pussy, dammit?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Have ya even thought what that FuCKeR in da end of yar handle even means? If ya don't feel like fuckin', then ya should change it...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: And everyone else who won't manage to get laid will get a new handle that ends like "PC:WaNkER"!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I've been hearin' that da prefects will be arrangin' a disco for da seventh-graderz before da skiing holiday.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: CWU will be there and do a real pussy raid there and get such a fuckin' heap of pussy to every member of da crew that -

dA dArK ELiTE: Maybe we could try sump'n else afore that, now that we've still got plenty of time left. I guess yer situation should be quite easy?

dA dArK ELiTE: 'Coz ye now hafta move to Pirinens' house with Ritu, and there's that Tiina -

dA dArK ELiTE: If ye ain't interested in Tiina's pussy, then ye could maybe invite us in? At least I could try long enuff until I score. She ain't too ugly...

dA dArK ELiTE: Yeah, right, first ye rage aroond that the whole crew's gotta scorte, and then if we offer some solution ye don't accept it!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay okay then, ye can get to us and beg her. And da rest of ya too if ya wanna that pussy from Tiina, but keep me away from it!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Reijo now finks that she'd be my sister now, and he'd get mad as hell...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I don't think she ever does anything on evenings but visits da stable and plays some violin...

dA dArK ELiTE: Well, then we'll be gettin' there as a gang once ye've moved in! Tiina will get tha kinda ride she's never seen afore! Just phone us that day and tell if she's really at home...

dA dArK ELiTE: And one more question. Are we gonna continue our war trainin' or does pussy get da top priority afore that too?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: It will. All of da resources of our crew WILL NOW GO ONE-HUNDRED-PERCENT INTO GETTIN' LAID!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: If ya get some secret filez or programz from those C.O.P. guys that'd help in that then ya can twiddle with computers...