C00LeS WaReZ UNiON MeMOiRS: cHApTER #0x20

========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x20 =========

DaTE:     1995-01-02 aT aBoUT 08:55

LoCATiON: kAEyTaeVAE, LiETeVeDeN yLaEaSTE, LiEtEvEdEn KiRkOnKYLaE, FiNLAND

PrESeNT:  CWU mEMBERS (ELiTE):

          mR.mEgAsTuFf  cAmE WiTH sChOOL BuS fROM hAutATAiPALE
          dArK sTuFfEr  cAmE WiTH sChOOL BuS fROM hAutATAiPALE
          dA dArK ELiTE cAmE WiTH sChOOL BuS fROM hAutATAiPALE
          WaRe FuCKeR   cAmE WiTH sChOOL BuS fROM hAutATAiPALE
          MoTHeR FuCKeR cAmE WiTH sChOOL BuS fROM hAutATAiPALE
          WoRLD HeR0    cAmE WiTH sChOOL BuS fROM hAutATAiPALE

          pHUKKEN LAMERS:

          MIKKO "The SkeneMies" KALLiO
          JANI "IceHockeyMan" ROMPPAiNEN
          + OThER mEGALAMErs FroM oUR cLASS, iNCLuDINg JANETZU & pAEiVI

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mR.mEgAsTuFf: We did da kinda tuff doodz' stuff yar kinda miserable PD-lamoz can't even dream 'bout!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: And then we planned such a plot against ya town lamerz that ya'd cry yar moms if ya knew about it!!

dA dArK ELiTE: We've now got several mawdemz in our crew, unlike certain others who don't even have computers anymaw, bwahah...

dA dArK ELiTE: We also know about such secret mawdem linez in Kuopio and elsewhere that gets us to the whole internet with the local rate only!

WaRe FuCKeR: Yeah, everbody's got a mawdem in our crew now, and y'all don't have anythang at all! I've also been on I-R-C so damn lot lately...

WoRLD HeR0: Yeah, and we also find the kind of ftp servers on the Internet that hold NPD, so we'll maybe concentrate our warez stuff there.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: So, if ya want that warez, then WE ARE THOSE KINGZ ya should request 'em from!!

dArK sTuFfEr: I've got a mawdem as well right now, but I've been more into coding recently, so our crew's gettin' some technical cunning as well...

dArK sTuFfEr: I've got a fuckin' filled vectorcube done, and now that I put some inline asm in it goes at least thirty fps even on a 386...

MoTHeR FuCKeR: This boy's moped's also going at least a hundred km/h now that I tuned it a bit! Already tried it on the ice of the lake...

dA dArK ELiTE: And if y'all try to come with yer fists up and beat us up, then we've got some response for that also!

dA dArK ELiTE: I've been thumping our crew's boxing bag like hell lately, and readin' my dad's old army-time tactics books and trained the others for battles as well.

dA dArK ELiTE: So, it's totally futile for y'all town boys to get against the war skills of Hautataipale! We've got the superiority!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: As ya can see, Cee-Dubya-You is totally unmatchable by da town lamerz, both on da computer section and da I-R-L section!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Did ya get many new chainsaw porn pix on floppy disks, now that ya don't even have that Pillu Paikka SBBS and not even a modem anymore?

JANI: We don't need any mawdem or pussy pics 'cause we can get the real thing as well, hey come on.

MIKKO: Y'all Hautataipale boys don't even think aboot pussy besides some miserable computer porn pics!

MIKKO: Don't y'all have any life at all outside that there computer? Whatta fuckin' miserasble bunch -

MIKKO: So, here we see who are the real masters of the seventh grade now, dammit!

MIKKO: Guess the Hautataipale boys are gonna stay virgin even in the ninth grade...

MIKKO: As y'all just twiddle with them there computers, such a bunch of damn pitiful wimps!

JANETZU: I won't be givin' anything to such a bunch of basement dwellers! I've got some class at least!

dArK sTuFfEr: But what aboot yar own virginity now, Mikko? Ain't ya now braggin' for what's Jani's achieved...?

JANETZU: If it's up to that, then Mikko's gonna get sex from me right the way!! Town people -

JANI: Town seventh-graders one, Hautataipale seventh-graders nil! Who cares if Mikko's gotten laid yet or not, we've got the lead! Now get some sports spirit, come on!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Did ya now fuckin' proclaim some fuckin' sports contest against us in gettin' laid!? Try to be a bit more misera-

MIKKO: FUCK'S SAKE, IT'S Y'ALL WHO ALWAYS DECLARE AND PROCLAIM ALL KIND OF FUCKIN' STOOPID IN THE NAME OF THAT PITIFUL "CREW" OF YERS!!

MIKKO: AND WE'RE SURE TO WIN IT TOO! THERE AIN'T MUCH OF CONTEST Y'ALL CAN OFFER!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: FUCKIN' HELL THEN! CWU'S NOT GONNA WATCH THIS HUMILIATION HANDS DOWN!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: BEFORE DA END OF DA YEAR, EVERY FUCKIN' CWU DOOD WILL BE GOTEN LAID LIKE HELL DAMMIT! MOST OF US EVEN SEVERAL TIMES!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: WE IN HAUTATAIPALE, YA KNOW, HAVE DA KIND OF CUNNING THAT YA GUYS LACK, AND THAT'S GONNA LEAD US TO THE VICTORY IN THIS CONTEST!