C00LeS WaReZ UNiON MeMOiRS: cHApTER #0x13

««- · CWU MEMOiRS 0x13 · -»»

========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x13 =========

DaTE:     1994-10-22 aT aBoUT 16:00

LoCATiON: mR.mEgAsTuFf's r00m, hAutAtAiPALe, LiEtEvEdEN KuNTA, FiNLAND

PrESeNT:  CWU mEMbERS (ELiTE):

          mR.mEgAStUFf   oWnEr oF dA rOOM aNd dA sTOLen aMiGA 1200
          FaTHeR FuCKeR  sUppOSEd To bE sOme pHUkKEn AMiGA eXpERT
          dArK sTuFfEr   mAdE sOME MUSiX fOR OuR AMiGA dEMO
          WoRLD HeR0     cWU gUY wHo KnoWs sOme cODiNG tOO

          LAMERS:

          RiTVA "RITU" ToSSAvAiNEN (mR.mEgAsTuFf's MotHER)
          REiJO "REIJO" PiRiNEN (fUCkING oLD sYpHiLIS-dIKKEd LAMER)

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mR.mEgAsTuFf: This ain't becomin' anything, goddammit!!!

FaTHeR FuCKeR: I don't know how to help either...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ya ain't been really helpful... man, ya've been havin' an Amiga at home for many fuckin' years and ya still dunno 'bout no commands or nuffin'! Ain't it quite lame, dwelling in yar lameness like that?!

FaTHeR FuCKeR: 'Twas more like my big bro's machine!! He dinna let me do anything but play...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: And now ya said it!!!

FaTHeR FuCKeR: I've said it like a RILLION times already...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Hey, did those doodz come now? Yeah, there's Ritu babbling her backwaters shit like they've come...

dArK sTuFfEr: Howdy there, Mega.

WoRLD HeR0: Hello.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Hi to ya too.

dArK sTuFfEr: Is that Amiga now there...?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, ain't it a fuckin' elite machine! There's like an aura of eliteness glowing unlike in any other machine...

dArK sTuFfEr: Yeah, I'm also feelin' that there's sump'n glowin'**...

WoRLD HeR0: Yeah.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: It's got everything so damn elite!!! I wanna show right now some damn elite demos to ya... they're much better than Second Reality and all other shit-pompous PC crap! There's a helluva gap between a lamer machine and an elite machine...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ain't it like a million years ahead of all PC crap... dammit...

dArK sTuFfEr: 'Twas fuckin' ace, yeah...

WoRLD HeR0: I still think Second Reality's better than that...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: WHATTA FUCK? ARE YOU ON ELITES' SIDE OR ON LAMERS' SIDE???

WoRLD HeR0: No, I just said my opinion...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuck's sake... I've gotta show ya some more then to change your lame opinions!

<9 FINGERS BY SPACEBALLS>

mR.mEgAsTuFf: D'ya now believe that Amiga fuckin' rulez? Those demos were all for da 500 even... not even usin' any features from true Amigas...

WoRLD HeR0: Well, they were quite good...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Not enuff, they've gotta be better than Second-fuckin'-Reality...

WoRLD HeR0: Well, the last one was better than Second Reality then, in my opinion...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ain't it! Fuckin' million times better stuff than ANY PC CRAP!!! Some Mikko has only seen that fuckin' Second Reality and finks that's da best ya can make for anything ever! What a fuckin' lame-o!

dArK sTuFfEr: They were quite tuff, really... hey, could ye record them on a videotape? So I could watch 'em at home too...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: They ain't all that tuff if you just watch from a video... ya've gotta watch with the real hardware to get the true elite vibes...

dArK sTuFfEr: Oh, right... so, could I then come to watch more of 'em some other day?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Dunno if we've got time... 'cause I've been havin' to make that message demo...

WoRLD HeR0: Did you have some problems with it?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Goddammit... where should I begin? D'ya know Assembler, WoRLD HeR0?

WoRLD HeR0: I've made a kind of text-writing program...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I guess ya know then that ain't it da INT command that writes text?

WoRLD HeR0: Yeah... you've gotta first put something in registers and then use the INT command... INT 21H or something...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuck it, this here Amiga assembler won't accept that fuckin' INT at all...

WoRLD HeR0: Strange...

dArK sTuFfEr: Well, couldna those assembler languages be like different in different machines? There wasn't PLAY command in yar C-64 either...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, I REMEMBER THAT ALL TOO WELL, ya were so happily typin' somethn' like PLAY QUOTE THIS AND THAT and then got so bitterly disappointed when da machine throws syntax errors on yar face! For da fuck's sake, it still gives shivers when I think 'bout that lamery of yars!

dArK sTuFfEr: Well, couldn't it be that Amiga just ain't got any INT command?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I mean fuck, a command that ya WRITE TEXT WITH, da most basic command ever!! How can ya lack something like that?

dArK sTuFfEr: If it's just so much different that even that kinda commands ain't the same?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Bloody fuck then! I started makin' that with Asmone just 'cause all da elitez always make everything with an assembler... but then we find out it's a totally shitty language THAT'S LIKE TOTALLY DIFFERENT IN EVERY MACHINE! FUKK!

WoRLD HeR0: Guess there are some other programming languages as well?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: At least there's a lot of stuff on this hard disk... here's some trackers and at least fuckin' two different terminals!! Do all Amigas come with two pre-installed terminals or has he just copied them from somewhere without even knowing what they're for? I didn't see any modem there at his home...

dArK sTuFfEr: Guess he's just lame enough to do that...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah... all of those gamer lamers always collect da kinda stuff they don't use for anything but can copy on to get games back in return... whatta fuckin' lame business...

dArK sTuFfEr: Ain't it like that it normal warez tradin'-

FaTHeR FuCKeR: Hey, there's Amos! I know aboot Amos...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Whatta fuckin' Amos? And why didn't ya notice earlier...?

FaTHeR FuCKeR: Dinna catch my eye! That's like another programming language, at least I reckon? Could ya make some demo stuffies with it?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Oh... are you sure with that now?

FaTHeR FuCKeR: At least there was some contest in Mikrobitti magazine where ya had to make demo with Amos...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Oh... we might try it out then...

FaTHeR FuCKeR: I heard it's quite easy...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, and easy languages are known to be lame... but we ain't makin' any king demo to begin with!! Just something with Stuffie's mod playing on the background and some picture and then it writes some text with our message in it...

dArK sTuFfEr: I had some problems making that there mod... Always when I saved it in the mod format it went outta tune...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Oh... maybe you ain't been finkin' that it's the PC lame format that's outta tune and Amiga is in da right tune...

dArK sTuFfEr: Is that so... well, it would be great to get it fixed! Or if we find some PC tracker that ain't outta tune...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Hey wow, da PRINT command works with AMOS!!! Hey, Fathie, yar da best 'coz ya found this!!!

FaTHeR FuCKeR: Do I hafta change my handle at all then?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ya still fuckin' must... but we might get this demo finished tonight so we can give it to pHASERhAWK on Monday!

WoRLD HeR0: Did yer mom just yell sump'n?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Guess she yelled us for da coffee... well, let's go then and continue makin' this later? I'm gonna lock this closet door anyway for da meanwhile! AND YA MUST NOT EVEN WHISPER A WORD 'BOUT THIS MACHINE OR YA'LL FLY OUTTA DA CREW!!! IS THAT CLEAR!?!

FaTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah.

dArK sTuFfEr: It is, yeah.

WoRLD HeR0: Yeah.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Let's go.

RITU: Sit down at the table... and say howdy to Reijo...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuckin' howdy then...

FaTHeR FuCKeR: Howdy...

WoRLD HeR0: Howdy...

dArK sTuFfEr: Yeah, hi...

REIJO: Howdy to y'all boys too.

RITU: Reijo Pirinen is that there Tim's daddy... I just said 'cause Sam and Jyri mightn't know...

dArK sTuFfEr: I do know...

REIJO: Are ye that Taisto Kuusinen's son who came to that y'all boys' computer club after Tim?

dArK sTuFfEr: Yeah...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: It's a fuckin' CREW dammit...

REIJO: DON'T YE SWEAR THERE TO AN OLDER MAN!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I'm at my home now, so any fuckin' Ritu's fuckpals don't push me around, fuckin' sloppyface... saatanan lurppanaama...

REIJO: Ye said WHAT???

RITU: Ehh, eheh, ye know, Reijo, it's our Mika who's a bit like that... not worth takin' him seriously... he's got that puberty just started...

REIJO: PUBERTY OR NOT, HE SHOULD'VE GOT SOME KIND OF ETIQUETTE! HAVE YA EVER GIVEN THAT A GOOD BEATIN' TO THAT BOY?

RITU: Well.. I ain't...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: YA TALK 'BOUT ETIQUETTE AND THEN ALWAYS CHEAT YAR WIFE WITH SOME PUBLIC SLUT OF DA VILLAGE WHEN NOBODY'S SEEIN'!

REIJO: GET QUIET THERE NOW, I'M THE MAN IN THE HOUSE NOW, SO I'M RULIN' HERE!!! AND RITU, HAIN'T YE EVEN TOLD YER KID THAT A RICH BOSS ALWAYS HAS BETTER KIDS THAN A POOR COMMIE?

RITU: That there Terttu has always been tryin' to tell the boys to not hang 'roond with Jyri...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, Jyri's fuckin' -

REIJO: SHUT UP NOW, KAKARA**, WHEN THE MAN'S TAWKIN'!!!

RITU: Chill down already, Reijo... let's get to the bedroom... don't let the boys disturb...

REIJO: IT'S ABOOT THE PRINCIPLES NOW! I WON'T LET ANYBODY MAKE MY SON CRY WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES!!!

RITU: Chill down... please... my own honey Reijo...

REIJO: Well, if ye promise that I can beat that there Mika, then I might chill down... Or ye can beat him too if ye want, if ye lemme watch...

RITU: Yeah... I guess he might deserve that well... But the other boys should go home before it!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: We're in da middle of fuckin' demo-makin' dammit... and IT'S A GIVEN THAT NO OVERHEIGHT SYPHILIS-DICKS AIN'T GONNA DISTURB OUR CREW'S PROJECTS, GODDAMMIT...

REIJO: YA SAID WHAT!!!

RITU: (Lähtekee poejjaat kottiin, äkkiä!)

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I SAID THAT OVERWEIGHT-

REIJO: WHAT ABOOT GETTIN' TO THAT BEDROOM AND PULLIN' YER PANTS DOWN...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: GET OFF ME YA FUCKIN' LOONY!!! GOD-FUCKIN'-DAMMIT!!!

FaTHeR FuCKeR: At least I'm gonna go home right now!!

dArK sTuFfEr: Yeah, guess it might be the time...

WoRLD HeR0: Yeah...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: GOD-FUCKIN'-DAMMIT!!! OUUUUCH!!! WAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! YA BLOODY FUCKIN' FAGGOT!!!! STOP IT!!! BLOODY DAMMMMEEEEEEETT!!!!!

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