««- · CWU MEMOiRS 0x12 · -»»
========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x12 =========
DaTE: 1994-10-18 aT aBoUT 22:30
LoCATi0N: tOYoTA HiACE, bEtWEEn hAUtATAiPALE & kIRkOnkYLÄ, LiEtEVeSi
PrESeNT: mR.mEgAsTuFf cAPTAiN oF dA sPAcE vEHiCLE
MoTHeR FuCKeR PiLOT aND eNGiNEER oF dA sPaCE vEHiCLE
dA dArK ELiTE nAViGAtOr oF dA sPaCe vEHiCLE
FaTHeR FuCKeR !!! fUCkINg WHiNY LaMER, tOO LamE fOR rANKiNG !!!===========================================================================
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Good that we dinna hafta take our Valmet tractor now that we can borrow this here HiAce from the Kähkönens... or "can"...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Bwahah! Can there be anyone lamer than this? "Yeah, we'll leave for da autumn holiday with da whole family and leave the keys in the HiAce"... WHATTA BUNCH OF MORONS!!!
FaTHeR FuCKeR: WATCH YER DRIVIN'! SO WE WON'T SLIP OFF THE ROAD!!! CAREFUL!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: I know how to drive a car...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: I WON'T BE WITH Y'ALL THEN IF THEY CATCH US! THIS IS SO ILLEGAL!!!
dA dArK ELiTE: Why in hell did ye push yerself to come with then if ye just screw aroond there like some nutball? Ye should've just left home, 'cause them there Sam and Jyri dinna come with either... agreed to leave tough mens' business to the tough men...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: I thought we would be leaving with Korhonens' Valmet and not Kähkönens' HiAce!! What's we gonna say if we get caught???
mR.mEgAsTuFf: For da fuxx sake, we would've broken in to Pennanens anyway! Wouldn't that have nerved ya at all?? If we get caught then we can admit everything but WE WON'T SAY A WORD ABOUT ANY AMIGA OR PENNANENS' HOUSE!!! Especially on da way back when the Amiga's with us!
dA dArK ELiTE: Where d'ye turn now? Don't fuckin' take that there Lahopää road 'cause Kopsanens live along it... goddammit... back it! Let's take the Höttövaara road...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: What's the matter...
dA dArK ELiTE: It matters if Kopsanens see us! I'm sure that Terttu has some notebook there where she writes down what car goes when and to which direction... and she sure can suspect when she knows that Kähkönens are on the holiday! Or well, there's that gossip granny at Höttövaara hillside too, but I don't think she call tell one whitish HiAce from another! And she's sure sleepin' already at this hour...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: "WHEN LAMERS SLEEP AND ELITES AWAKE"! BWAHAH!!!
dA dArK ELiTE: Yeah... And no one else even takes the Höttövaara road but some communists and other Elanto shoppers! Ye never run into anybody when ye drive there... but watch those deepest holes there! This ain't no tractor even if it's a four-wheel-drive...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Where's we gonna leave the car in the town?
dA dArK ELiTE: Park it there behind the parquet factory... there starts the woods path that takes to Pennanens' backyard... I guess nobody notes it if we park there at this hour!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah..
dA dArK ELiTE: And ye've gotta drive to the factory from the wrong end of Industry Road... 'cause there's some houses in the beginnin'...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Is the woods path part gonna be long?
dA dArK ELiTE: Lemme think... sump'n like a hundred metres maybe! We can easily carry all that Amiga gear and nobody notes for sure...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: WATCH THEM THERE BUMPIES!!! WATCH THEM -
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Dinna get broken... don't jump aroond...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: We've gotta be careful now 'cause WE MUST NOT GET CAUGHT!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Got that clear already, goddammit...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I'm sure ya've got da lock-pickin' gear...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: I've sure got.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Let's try that basement door first and if we fail then take da window off or something! Leave da main door as da last chance...
dA dArK ELiTE: Yeah, sounds reasonable...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And don't put on da lights! Let's just use da torches and avoid pointing them at da windows so da neigbours won't notice...
dA dArK ELiTE: There ain't even neighbours there on the backyard side! Hey, what're ya blinking to the left? We're gonna turn right...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Oh right, the wrong end, I see... it's gonna get the trip like twenty clicks longer now that we've gotta saw aroond back'n'forth...
dA dArK ELiTE: It ain't a long trip from here anymaw.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Everybody ready for da gig?
FaTHeR FuCKeR: I-I don't dare... I don't want...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Goddammit! Ya whined so much to get with! SO YAR COMIN' NOW!
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Can't I just leave in the car...?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: YA CAN'T! YAR GONNA COME WITH!
FaTHeR FuCKeR: O-o-okey then... Or, yeah, right, I wouldna wanna stay in a stolen car anyway...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And have ya been finkin' 'bout that handle of yars, by the way? Fuckin' FaTHeR FuCKeR... are ya some homo kid who wants an old man's dirty hair-cock in his ass?
dA dArK ELiTE: BLOODY YACK! ALL THE HOMOS...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: So we could kick ya outta da crew even 'cause of yar handle!! Now, follow us or YAR GONNA FLY OUTTA DA CREW, DAMMIT!!!
FaTHeR FuCKeR: O-okey...
dA dArK ELiTE: 'Twas good that Sam dinna come... we wouldna get anywhere with two sissies whinin' instead of one...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: This fella's now parkin' somewhere 'roond there...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay-doe... then, let's get outta da car! Everybody got da torches!
dA dArK ELiTE: Yeah.
MoTHeR FuCKeR: I've got it there...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Oh, right, gettin' it now...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And then shut up as much as possible durin' da gig, and don't point around with those torches for nuffin, dammit...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Right then...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Shh!
dA dArK ELiTE: Come after me...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: I'm regrettin' so fuckin' much that I came with!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Shh!
dA dArK ELiTE: There's that there hose...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I don't see a car on da yard and no lights nowhere... so let's get to da basement door...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: I'm s-so a-a-fraid...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Shut up ya fukken lamer!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Looks like an easy lock... sure takes us in right the way...
dA dArK ELiTE: It opened right there.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And remember to watch those torches!!
dA dArK ELiTE: Got it already, dammit...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: R-right...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Wonder where the Janne's room is...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Here's some Amiga at least...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Allright, right there!
dA dArK ELiTE: What's we gonna take with us?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: At least da machine and da monitor and da cables... somebody's gotta take them off da wall...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Are we gonna take the floppy box too?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, take it too...
dA dArK ELiTE: The cables are off now...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: So, grab da gear and let's go then...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: I-I dunno if I can...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ya must can now, dammit! And shut up! ... Is MoTHeR FuCKeR gonna suhut da door?
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: That was an easy gig!
dA dArK ELiTE: Don't jump with it yet...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: We could go there another time too!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Goddammit, we totally won't be visitin' da same place twice! They're sure gonna put some goddamn alarms there after this...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Could've taken some money...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: We're not turnin' back anymore! Steal from yar dad's wallet...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Help, wait, I dropped a cable...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Goddamnit! Yar so clumsy that why did ya take those cables anyway? Ya could've taken that floppy box...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: But everbody else had already taken the others...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Found it already? Let's go on... MoTHeR FuCKeR havin' da keys with for sure?
MoTHeR FuCKeR: I've got them right... and could've started the HiAce even without them there keys...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Allright! Now, everybody in...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Pheww, I managed it!!!
dA dArK ELiTE: Don't be so jumpy yet... we've still got trip left...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Back along the same route?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Am I gonna leave at the same place where y'all took me in?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah... we don't need ya with storin' our booty...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Where's we gonna leave it?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: D'ya know that old milk platform there in da curve just before our home road?
MoTHeR FuCKeR: I sure know it...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah... da plan is to hide da Amiga under there... I've got some waterproof sheets with me so we can get it unnoticeable and keep it dry. Tomorrow I'm then gonna take it home with a wheelbarrow at some good occassion!
dA dArK ELiTE: Have ye been reckonin' aboot hidin' it somewhere?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I've got a closet in my room with a lock... I guess I manage to install it there somehow...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: WATCH THEM THERE BUMPIES!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah, right... I get that if we run into bump too hard then da keulaportti*'s gonna break and we'll drown...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: For real now... and listen to me now, Fathie...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: What's it?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I know this might've been difficult for ya... but no matter how hard ya'd like to yell around 'bout this at home to yar parents, YA MUST SHUT DA FUCK UP! IF THERE'S ANY RUMORS SPREADING VIA YA AND TERTTU, THEN WE'RE GONNA COME AND BEAT YA TO DA HOSPITAL! AND YA CAN SAY AN ETERNAL GOODBYE TO YAR CREW MEMBASHIP! YAR GONNA BE EVEN A WORSE SORT OF LAMER THAN MIKKO, AND OUR ETERNAL ENEMY! DIDYA GET IT???
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah, I got it... I'm gonna stay shut up...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And have ya already been finkin' 'bout that new handle for ya?
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Not yet...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: It's about time to get finkin' 'bout that as well... gay handles ain't allowed in our crew!
FaTHeR FuCKeR: O-okey...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Anyway, yar important of us 'cause of the Amiga, as yar da one who's gotten da Amiga da longest of us! So we've gotta trust yar knowledge now... so don't get crazy... chill down... But we've now gotta remember that we're NEVER ANYMORE gonna get ya to da kinda gigs where ya've gotta have nerves! And don't even whine 'bout gettin' with us!
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Okey...
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