C00LeS WaReZ UNiON MeMOiRS: cHApTER #0x11

========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x11 =========

DaTE:     1994-10-12 aT aBoUT 19:30

LoCATi0N: hUkKaSuOn vAjA, hAutAtAiPALe, LiEtEvEdEN KuNTA, FiNLAND

PrESeNT:  mR.mEgAsTuFf   wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY
          dA dArK ELiTE  wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY
          FaTHeR FuCKeR  wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY
          MoTHeR FuCKeR  wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY
          dArK sTuFfEr   wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY
          WoRLD HeR0     wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY

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mR.mEgAsTuFf: It's one goddamn important buzz we can't postpone a single day! Every minute SUoMEN HUiPPU KoPSARiT is on da cuttin' edge it's gnawin' off our credibility...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fukken fukk, we just got beaten up on da woodworkin' class!! And that's not all... I called Dark Zone and Night Moon right after school and checked if our Mikko "ThE SkEneMiEs" Kallio is there... and HE FUKKEN WAS THERE! AND HE'S GOT MORE BYTES IN NIGHT MOON THAN ME!!!

WoRLD HeR0: How's somebody like that even passed the NUVs? I don't get it at all...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Neither do I... But this is da truth and we've gotta live with it now! And that's why I've called ya for this TOP SECRET EMERGENCY MEETUP!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: 'Coz it ain't like that! If Mikko has gotten into pirate boardz and starts serious tradin', then HE'LL BEAT ME IN THAT FOR SURE!

dA dArK ELiTE: But it's ye who's got that Terbo mawdem... I don't think he's got -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: It's no matter who's got da fastest modem, it's 'bout who's parents can afford da phone bills!! Both of Mikko's parents have a job, and my dad ain't even alive anymore... So, if I start a serious trade outrun against Mikko to get a better position in next month's PC-Top, then it'd mean that my mutta can't afford da next phone bill and our they'll cut our line 'coz of that!!! Of coz I could buy some callin' cardz and call with 'em but I should have my own money for that and I don't have any...

dArK sTuFfEr: Well, break his computer? Or steal it? Can't trade 'roond after that...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah... there's this autumn holiday that's comin'... wonder if Mikko's leavin' for somewhere for da holiday? Perhaps in da meanwhile -

dArK sTuFfEr: Or maybe if we could upload some trojan in his board? He ain't got any separate box for the board there... usin' the same computer for testing the proggies! We could also destroy all of his warez with that!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: How's he gonna to believe it now, as we've made two capturez of him in a short time? He's gotta be really cautious now, double-checkin' everythin' his new userz are doin'...

WoRLD HeR0: I've got a new program called Nuke Randomic Life Generator you can make trojans very easily with, any it works for sure... I found it on the InterNet...

WoRLD HeR0: Yeah... it's a something called FreeNet... I just got access there in the start of the week...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I mean hey, this is so damn tuff, we've got a d00d in da crew who's gotten into da InterNet!!! And SHK don't... so at least we've got da headstart in one area! Could we get like warez from there...?

WoRLD HeR0: I haven't found any warez there yet... and it wouldn't even made sense to trade there, because that FreeNet costs 19 pennies per minute plus the local rate...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuck it then! Who in hell needs da whole InterNet for anythin' if ya can get warez from local boardz with da local rate only...

WoRLD HeR0: Well, there are some things that can't be found on boards at all! Like a kind of unbelievable world-wide multi-node chat with at least a hundred thousand people on at the same time...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Are ye cheatin' me now??? Nowhere can be so many nodes... not even on da InterNet!! And ain't that chat fuckin' messy if so many's writin' at da same time?? Not soundin' quite believable...

WoRLD HeR0: Well, there are like several channels with different names. Like hundreds or thousands of them... you can't even follow them all at the same time!

WoRLD HeR0: Well, go register yourself in that FreeNet! And when it's asking you for a reference user, then write my account there. My account is wher0, like dubya-h-e-r-zero. And once you get it, you can find the chat in the menu as something called I-R-C... I dinna believe it either afore I tried!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Right, yeah, dunno, let's see... dunno about that InterNet... feels like it's only used by some university PD lamos and da kinda pompous fucks who posh around on some FidoNet message areas! Dunno if it has anythin' to give to an elite dood like me...?

WoRLD HeR0: Well, dunno... but at least it needs so much cunning to get into InterNet and use it that no one like Mikko Kallio would ever have enough of it! So we should use that there cunning for our advantage, I think...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, maybe we shouldn't be lookin' at da InterNet too much. Let's rather find support from some folks who're damn elite for sure...

dA dArK ELiTE: I reckon it might be quite hard to find some damn elite folks here in Lietevesi?

dA dArK ELiTE: I don't get it at all, that there U-turn of yers! Dinna it get clear to everbody ages ago that PC is better than Amiga?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ya say like that just becoz ya ain't seen any real Amiga or a real Amiga user! I saw them in Helsinki, and it totally changed my view! Right, we've got Osmo and all who praise PC 'coz everbody's got 'em at job places, but Amiga is better designed than PC in just everythin', and at least on da scene that's what matters... and not if it runs some WP51 or Ventura that's worth nuffin' on da scene!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: And I've been finding out 'bout that cULT oF pOWER as well... they're on such a fukken high level in everythin' that NO PC USER CAN EVER GET AS HIGH!!! Those doodz are like nearly superhumans! They've got some mind-blowin' paranormal skills they've been developin'... with da kinda software ya only get for da Amiga...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, I didn't believe it either when I first heard about it! But da COP doodz were in Helsinki for da Assembly at da same time and I saw like totally unbelievable thingz there!! I didn't even dare to talk to them 'coz they might have magically turned me into a salt pillar or somethng if I had said anythin' to them!! I can't even tell what I saw there, and ya wouldn't believe me anyway...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I'll tell some other time when there ain't any sceptic lamers who always needs some kinda believability in everythin' they hear! Well, I can throw in some example... They for example control da phone network in some magical way that they don't need to pay da billz at all!!

dA dArK ELiTE: I'M NOT FUCKIN' GONNA BELIEVE THAT GODDAMN THANG AND PROBABLY NEVER WILL...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But no matter if those unbelievable things are real or not, what's da most important now is that DA cULT oF pOWER DOODZ ARE DA KINDA GUYZ WE ABSOLUTELY MUST GET TO CONTACT!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: That's da more important issue... da Amiga scene won't look kindly at some PC lamers, so we should have an Amiga!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah yeah, ya've got those five-hundredz without any monitors or hard disks, but I meant a real, TRUE AMIGA!!! Ya can't do anything with a 500 on the Amiga scene nowadays... AGA killed da 500 scene, all da releasez are for AGA nowadays... and who da hell would even want some toy Amiga without even a hard disk?!? Even PC lamers laugh at somethin' like that!!!

dA dArK ELiTE: Let him be like Lord Jesus but they're just ordinary people after all...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: There are many levels of people! And some people are on such a high level that ya can't contact them without accessories...

dA dArK ELiTE: Hell then, worship those guys as much as y'all like, but keep me outta that!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: We'll take da contact by preparin' an Amiga floppy that contains our message, and then we'll give it to pHASERhAWK at school. Then they either respond or not...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I guess none of us has a few thousand marks to throw in for this purpose, so we'll need to find some lamer who's got one and steal it from him!

dA dArK ELiTE: Do any Lietevesi cops get some trading...? No! But they get stealin'...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, that's why we need to use some cunning here!! And my morals in this are straight! 'Coz I think none of those A1200-level Amigas belong to any gamer lamers, so we're doin' exactly da right thing if we transfer one of them to a bit more elite owner!

dArK sTuFfEr: But does anyone know such a gamer lamer who would have some Amiga 1200?

WoRLD HeR0: I might know... there's a sixth-grade kid in the town called Janne Pennanen...

dA dArK ELiTE: I might know him too, if that's the younger son of Jaakko Pennanen... That there Jaakko's some goddamn official... they always take some far-away trip on every school holiday!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Hey, wonder if they're gonna take a trip something on da autumn holiday...?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Someone should sneak in and check if it's a 1200 for sure... and that their whole family's surely gonna leave for somewhere once da school's out...

dA dArK ELiTE: Might they be leavin' on Friday already? Somebody could stay in the town and watch over a bit? Or then ride a bike to the town in the weekend to make all the checks we need...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: We'll need to plan this very carefully, like where are we gonna leave that tractor so that no one sees! And things like that. We could perhaps check these things out in the weekend... How are we gonna get in?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Oh yeah, right, ya always picked those locker locks in da elementary school!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: So, let's follow these plans then! And WoRLD HeR0 can also check if we could also make that trojan against Mikko...