C00LeS WaReZ UNiON MeMOiRS: cHApTER #0x09

========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x09 =========

DaTE:     1994-08-16 aT aBoUT 10:30

LoCATi0N: KoTSAN LUoKKA, LiETeVeDeN yLÄaSTE, LiEtEvEdEN KiRkOnKYLä, FiNLAND

PrESeNT:  mR.mEgAsTuFf  cAmE WiTH sChOOL BuS fROM hAutATAiPALE
          MyStERiA      cAmE WiTH sChOOL BuS fROM hAutATAiPALE
          + LoTZA NON-CWU LAMERZ inCLuDING dA dARK ELiTE, MoTHER FuCKER,
            FaTHeR FuCKER, JYRi KUUSiNEN aND MiKKO KALLio

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mR.mEgAsTuFf: There's no List Gang anymore, but CWU, that's C00LeS WaReZ UNiON... we're a scene crew nowadays and not some little kids' copy club!! We're tradin' warez, not copyin' copsy-games!!!

JYRI: A-ha... but I've also got such a peecee nowadays, just like you. Osmo Kärkkäinen arranged that... so, could I get with y'all into that there gang? Y'all could copy me some newer games!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Coz yar still just a beginner who knows nuffin'!! Learn up for a couple of years first and then we may perhaps accept ya...

JYRI: But there's fuckin' Timmy Pirinen in yer gang as well!!! And he's only been havin' that there goddamn yuppie rig for a two or three months maybe!!!

JYRI: My brother told... I heard he'd been braggin' the whole yesterday at school 'boot getting into the List Gang...

JYRI: I dunno hat he was sayin' exactly, but at least he was braggin' like hell with it... So why in hell wouldn't I get in if Timmy got in!?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, Timmy, I mean DiCK PUNiSHER, has such a SPECiAL MiSSiON in our crew... ya may perhaps undersand once ya've gotten some experience...

JYRI: Ya mean, like recording some sounds for y'all from some Synthesizer Greatest tapes with a tape player and a microphone...?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Bwahahah... d'ya really fink dat samples are made like dat!!! With a tape player and a microphone!!! I'd fukken pull my eyes off for shame if some of us sampled in such a FUKKEN HYPER-LAME way!!! We've got some tuff doodz' methodz dat ain't -

JYRI: Does some Timmy understand anything aboot any wires? Fuckin' SPECIAL MISSION... he even copied all of his sound tapes that way before he got a double-decker! He doesn't know a shit aboot wires!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: It seems ya're not knowing either!!! Yar such a beginner dat even town-dwellers laugh at ya!!!

dA dArK ELiTE: Hey, Jyri, if ye'd like to get some copsy-games then ye can ask us to copy them for ye...

FaTHeR FuCKeR: We are allowed, 'cause we quitted CWU yesterday... so none of them there list rules applies to us anymaw!!

dA dArK ELiTE: 'Cause that there fella was demandin' all kinda mindless crap from us... like learning some posh Helsinki faggot dialect from some letter pages of Suosikki magazine, and wearing some fuckin' CWU cap...

JYRI: A-ha... well, I still reckon that the thing ya did yesterday was so fuckin' tough... and that's why I started to want to get into yer crew as well! Ye know how to fight back and not be any sissies... ya've got like attitude...

MIKKO: Are y'all in the scene!?!?!? I'd like to copy some games with y'all too..

mR.mEgAsTuFf: CWU'S IN WAR AGAINST TOWN CLOWNS AND WON'T TRADE ANYTHIN' WITH 'EM!!!

MIKKO: I'm not calling a lot... except for Pelit BBS, it's got some good games there...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: AND YA FINK DAT YA'LL GET ANYWHERE WITH THAT KINDA LAMERY? YA FUKKEN PELIT BBS LAMER!!! Hey, didya geddit guyz... now after yar outta CWU ya've only got this MIKKO as yar only WAREZ CONTACT, with his glorious "MO'EM" he calls PELIT BBS with!!! No, really, I've gotta go outside and laugh there, runnin' outta oxygen here...

JYRI: I might wanna copy sump'n from y'all, in case y'all now allowed to copy it to others as well nowadays...

dA dArK ELiTE: Well, bring some floppies to us tommorrow and I'll copy some games to them.

FaTHeR FuCKeR: I heard you've got a real soundcard so that third version should work too...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Bwahahah, Scream Tracker for a beginner like ya!! D'ya really believe dat ya'd learn to make something with it in two days!!! Ya'll probably just load some Purplie's tune there and then -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah... just like you just tried that fukken PLAY command with your fukken MSX!! Dat Scream Tracker there's a little bit better program than some MSX BASIC, hey... ya've gotta have some real SKILLZ to get any kinda sound out from it... and no fukken PLAY QUOTE MIKKO IS NICE QUOTE AND THEN TWENTY GOTO TEN... ya'll be so bitterly disappointed!!

MIKKO: I've got some proggies too... like such a proggy-makin'-proggy called Turbo Pascal... if yar like that kinda proggy-makin'...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, some fukken lamerz' TURBO-PASKA... bwahah... almost as lame as dat fukken MSX BASIC!! Suits Jyri very well... ya can't even do any real men's plasma effect with it, ya just draw circles and then fukken PRINT QUOTE PELIT BBS RULEZ QUOTE!! And it's so fukken mindlessly lame to call compilers "proggy-makin'-proggies", learn to speak ya fukken clown...

dA dArK ELiTE: Dammit then, Mikko's surely not our only warez contact!! There are other warez fellas as well here in the junior high... on the 7B class... and on the ninth grade -

FaTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah, there's them there cULT oF pOWER guys on the ninth, at least they are...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Bwahahah, just go there and beg PEECEE COPSY-GAMES from fukken cULT oF pOWER, and they'll just spit on ya if anything!!! They won't even dare about givin' ya a swirlie!!! D'ya Fathie really fink dat AMiGA ELiTEZ would wanna have any kinda business with PC LAMERZ like that!? Bwahahahahah... I've gotta get somewhere else to laugh -

dA dArK ELiTE: Amiga was a fuckin' crappy, wasn't it? Ye can't even get a hard drive or a monitor for it... ye can only play games...

MIKKO: Yeah, it's just like that, everbody's who's got an Amiga should buy a fuckin' peecee or hang himself!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Get this down already you goddamn lamerz... AMIGA'S A FUKKEN MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN ANY PEECEE DAMMIT!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, that's 'coz UNCLE OSMO's not knowin' anything 'bout Amiga!!! I did believe him back in the days but then I realized that he doesn't really know dat much about computers... But really, all da fukken elementary-school gamer lamers have spoiled Amiga's reputation though it's da best computer in da world, for real! Everyone finks dat all Amigas are like dat...

MIKKO: I got an Amiga once, and BLOODY HELL it was crappy, I fired at it with a shotgun right the same day when I got a real men's peecee!! There's nothing good in that...

MIKKO: Just go and KICK AN AMIGA BASTARD ON THE ARSE WITH A REAL MEN'S KARATE KICK, THEN HE WON'T SIT IN A WEEK!!! All the fuckin' Amiga bastards are like that...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, just go there and show those helpless kicks to fukken cULT oF pOWER... ya'll get such LASER SCENE KICKS back that ya'll get to da hospital!!! To EMERGENCY ROOM!!! Ya know nuffin' about AMiGA ELiTENESS! Ya'll get to be in an ALL-BODY PLASTER CAST and fink there if it was worth for an ULTRA-LAMER like ya to pick a fight -

HILKKA-OPE: Well there, has group number two already set its milkshakes on the table?

HILKKA-OPE: So, what are you waiting for there then, sit down and enjoy your meal!