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========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x05 =========

DaTE:     1994-08-12 aT aBoUT 17:00

LoCATi0N: hÖnTTöLäN aUTiOTaLo, hAutAtAiPALe, LiEtEvEdEN KuNTA, FiNLAND

PrESeNT:  mR.mEgAsTuFf  cAmE WiTH "tUnTuRi" mOtORcYcLE
          dA dArK ELiTE cAmE WiTH BiCYcLE
          FaTHeR FuCKeR cAmE WiTH BiCYcLE
          MoTHeR FuCKeR cAmE WiTH "tUnTuRi" mOtORcYcLE
          MyStERiA      cAme WiTH BiCYcLE
	  DiCK PUNiSHER cAme WiTH hIs fAThER's "mERcEdES-bENZ" cAR

====================== bEGiN cAsSeTTe tRaNsCRiPTiON =======================

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Now silence... da last CWU TOUGHNESS TRAININ' starts now!

dA dArK ELiTE: No vähänx jee.

FaTHeR FuCKeR: Wuz it fun at da Assembly exhibition???

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Assembly exhibition...? IT FUKKEN WASN'T!!! DA WHOLE FUKKEN PLACE FULLA SOME KIDZ PLAYIN' THAT FUKKEN DOOM!!! AND NO ONE THERE WHO WOULD KNOW ANYTHING 'BOUT SCENE OR OTHER COOL DOODZ' THINGZ!!! I'M NEVER GONNA GO THERE AGAIN!!! DA LAMEST PARTY EVER!!!

DiCK PUNiSHER: I fink it wuz quite fun there...

dA dArK ELiTE: AND WHAT'S THAT THERE GOSHDARN TIM PIRINEN DOIN' AROOND HERE!??!?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: WHY ARE YOU BLABBERING FUKKEN BACKWOODS SHIT DAMMIT?!??!

dA dArK ELiTE: Fukken SORRY, I mean WHAT DA FUKK IS TIM PIRINEN DOIN' HERE???

mR.mEgAsTuFf: He's not "Tim" anymore but DiCK PUNiSHER, and...

dA dArK ELiTE: BWAHAHAHAHAH!!! DiCK PUNiSHER, ye say!!! Tim's now made up quite an ELiTE handle!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: DiCK PUNiSHER is our sample master... sAMPLE cREATiONS mAN... he's makin' samplez for us so we don't have to rip them from Purple Motion anymore...

dA dArK ELiTE: Fukken okay.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: In case you didn't notice, we're starting da junior high next week! Except for DiCK PUNiSHER who starts da sixth grade, bwahahah!!!

DiCK PUNiSHER: Yeah, fuck that.

dA dArK ELiTE: WE HAVE NOTICED THAT, DAMMIT...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Has everyone already had all da youth magazines?

MoTHeR FuCKeR: I've still got some left...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay, read them quickly then. But one thingie we need before school starts is CAPS... All da kinda caps and otha clothez are very important if ur in a crew!! Many crews have crew t-shirts but crew caps would maybe suit our crew best. If ur wearing a crew cap then everyone gets that you belong to some really elite gang... and ya'll get to tougher circles and avoid swirlies...

dA dArK ELiTE: I mean whatta hell???

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Don't ya all have caps at home? Like, steal some HANKKIJA or VALMET cap from ur dad if you ain't got ur own...

dA dArK ELiTE: I'M ALWAYS KEEPIN' A VALMET CAP IN MY HEAD, GODDAMMIT!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: WHY ARE YOU BLABBERIN' BACKWOODZ SHIT!?!?

dA dArK ELiTE: I rather shut up than mumble some bulldung Helsinki gentleman language.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I got some CWU stickers done at Assembly exhib- I mean ASM... ya've gotta stick 'em on ur caps! AND DA ONE WHO'S NOT WEARING A CWU CAP ON DA FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL WILL FLY OUTTA DA WHOLE CREW!!! GODDAMMIT!!!

FaTHeR FuCKeR: Okay...

MyStERiA: Yeah, at least I got it, I mean grokked it.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ya ** dammit... but if ya don't have a cap wif ya right now then come get a sticker anyway.

dA dArK ELiTE: Was there anythin' else???

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yet another thing... IF YOU'VE GOT DOOM THEN DESTROY IT!!! SUCH A FUKKEN LAME GAME!!! ONLY FUKKEN LAMERZ HAVE SOME FUKKEN DOOM AND PLAY IT!!! NO ONE WITH DOOM IS NEVER ALLOWED TO BE IN OUR CREW!!! Once you've deleted Doom ur TUFF DOODZ who're completely ready for JUNIOR HIGH!!! (except DiCK PUNiSHER, bwahahah)

DiCK PUNiSHER: Fukken hell dammit.

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