««- · CWU MEMOiRS 0x03 · -»»
========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x03 =========
DaTE: 1994-07-08 aT aBoUT 20:00
LoCATi0N: hÖnTTöLäN aUTiOTaLo, hAutAtAiPALe, LiEtEvEdEN KuNTA, FiNLAND
PrESeNT: mR.mEgAsTuFf cAmE WiTH "tUnTuRi" mOtORcYcLE
dA dArK ELiTE cAmE WiTH BiCYcLE & a CoUPLE OF CiGArETtES iN PoCKET
FaTHeR FuCKeR cAmE WiTH BiCYcLE
MoTHeR FuCKeR cAmE WiTH "tUnTuRi" mOtORcYcLE & CANiStER oF KiLJU
MyStERiA caMe WiTH BiCYcLE (LAMER!!!)====================== bEGiN cAsSeTTe tRaNsCRiPTiON =======================
MyStERiA: Hello? I-is there anyone here? ... HELLO!! I'm leaving if there's nobody here! ... HELLO! ... (oh hell!)
mR.mEgAsTuFfin ääni: ARE YA MyStERiA?
MyStERiA: OH! ... Y-yeah, I am, yes, I am...
mR.mEgAsTuFfin ääni: ARE YA SURE DAT YA WANNA JOIN C00LeS WaReZ UNiON, DA TUFFEST SCENE CREW IN BACKWARDS SAVONIA???
MyStERiA: Y-yeah, I'm really sure...
mR.mEgAsTuFfin ääni: "ARE YOU SURE, Y SLASH N"???
MyStERiA: Y-yeah ...
mR.mEgAsTuFfin ääni: "ARE YOU SURE, Y SLASH N"!!!
MyStERiA: Yeah, yes, or, I mean Y!
mR.mEgAsTuFfin ääni: ARE YA SURE DAT YA WANNA GO THRU A C00LeS WaReZ UNiON JOINING ORDEAL WHERE WE TEST THAT YAR A FUKKEN TUFF ENUFF DOOD???
MyStERiA: Yes, I am...
mR.mEgAsTuFfin ääni: "ARE YOU SURE, Y SLASH N"!!!
MyStERiA: Y!
REVELATION!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Here's a NORTHIE TOBACCO for ya. Ya've gotta smoke all of it!
dA dArK ELiTE: Ever smoked tobacco afore?
MyStERiA: N-no, I haven't smoked...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Put da cig in ur mouth! ... Like that, and now light it!
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Are ye nervous!!
MyStERiA: A l-little...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Suck harder! DOWN TO THE LUNGS, DAMMIT!!!
MyStERiA: (cough cough)
dA dArK ELiTE: Right there, good boy! Now take another one and down to the lungs this time!
MyStERiA: I d-dunno if I want it yet...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fukk! D'ya want in our crew or not!!!
MyStERiA: Yeahh.. yes, I want to be in your crew...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Then ur gonna breath another smoke, and down to the lungs then dammit!!!
MyStERiA: (cough cough)
dA dArK ELiTE: That was a bit better already! On the third time ye'll know how to breath to the lungs like some good fella!!!
MyStERiA: Yeah, wait... Okey, now...
dA dArK ELiTE: Like that, and ye dinna even cough at all!
MyStERiA: This cigarette is ending soon...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: We're not even near da end!
MyStERiA: Now it went out...
dA dArK ELiTE: Bloody hell, I'm puttin' the light back then... like that...
MyStERiA: (cough cough)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Guess that's enough already, ya can stub it out now...
dA dArK ELiTE: Guess it might be the time for the next test...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ever been ridin' a moped, MyStERiA?
MyStERiA: N-no, I haven't...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay, ur gonna get to drive soon. Ya've gotta ride MoTHeR FuCKeR's Pappa-Tunturi, ready?
MyStERiA: Yeah, I am...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay, so let's get outta da house then...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Are ye nervous!!
MyStERiA: Y-yeah, I'm a b-bit nervous...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: That's the way. Sit there on that there saddle and get to brummin'.
dA dArK ELiTE: Right! Can you kickstart a moped? There's that lever right there...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: NOT THERE IN DA HANDLEBAR!!! RIGHT WHERE YAR FOOT IS, FUKKEN LAMER!!!
MyStERiA: Sorry... is it this one...?
dA dArK ELiTE: Yeah, now kick it!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Try again...
MyStERiA: I don't know how to do this... **äh... **äh... no, now it started up!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Now, that's the way.. now just turn that gas ** there in the **crossbar so it'll start movin'...
MyStERiA: W-where do I have to ride this?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Just ride 'round da yard at first and come back...
MyStERiA: O-okey...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Hohohohoh, now he started brummin'!!!
dA dArK ELiTE: Bwahahah!!! Hohoh, he's just usin' the first gear all the time and can't change it!!!
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Hohohoh, there he's comin' back now!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, let's teach him da gearz...
MyStERiA: Alright, made it...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ya didn't make anything 'coz you didn't change da gears...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: That stick there is the gear switch... kick it lower so it'll get to gear two...
dA dArK ELiTE: Ride to the end of the road and then come back...
MyStERiA: Y-yeah, I-I'll do it...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Hohohoh, now he started again... Doin' good.
dA dArK ELiTE: Bwahahah, now it went off midway... and he's tryin' to start it again...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Ain't it like bwahahahah!!!
dA dArK ELiTE: And the trip continues... hohohoh, now he's comin' back!
MyStERiA: Did it go better now???
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, I guess we can accept it...
dA dArK ELiTE: Was it nicey to ride???
MyStERiA: Yeah, it was quite fun...
dA dArK ELiTE: Wouldye like to ride some other time too?
MyStERiA: Yeah, sure I...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But now let's get to the third and final test!!!
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Are ye nervous!!
MyStERiA: Not so much anymore...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: MoTHeR FuCKeR, go get those KILJUS!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Allright.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: As da last test ya've gotta get god-fuckin'-damn wasted by kilju-boozing with us!!!
MyStERiA: O-okay...
dA dArK ELiTE: Everbody's gettin' one **huikka at a time from the bottle and then givin' it on... and ye canna stop until the bottle** is empty!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah, and I've even got another bottle** if we can't get sauced enough from one...
dA dArK ELiTE: Right there, open that bottle...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Allright... BLOODY FUCK!!! IT'S BURSTIN' ALL OVER!!!
dA dArK ELiTE: SO GET IT IN YER MOUTH QUICKLY SO IT WON'T GET LOST!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Fuck's sake... mmmm... bloody hell... now it **settled.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Give da bottle on to MyStERiA so he'll get da first official **huikka...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Are ye nervous!!
MyStERiA: A l-little...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: So get a **kulasu **kitusiis and no need to be nervous anymaw!!
MyStERiA: (glug)
dA dArK ELiTE: WHAT A **GLUG WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE, NOW TAKE SOME MORE DAMMIT!!!
MyStERiA: S-sorry... (glug glug glug)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Allrite, I'll get da next draught... gimme that... (glug glug glug)
FaTHeR FuCKeR: (glug glug glug)
MoTHeR FuCKeR: (glug glug glug) ... and 'nother round???
MyStERiA: (glug glug glug)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: (glug glug glug)
FaTHeR FuCKeR: (glug glug glug)
MoTHeR FuCKeR: (glug glug glug)
MyStERiA: (glug glug glug)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Whatcha fink, MyStERiA, feelin' dizzy already???
MyStERiA: Y-yeah, it feels a bit dizzy already...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I'm already so dead drunk... I wanna say to you MyStERiA that I THINK UR SOME BLOODY GREAT DUDE!!!
MyStERiA: Yeah, well, eh, thank you, you're too...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And I fink ur board is da best board in da whole Backwards-Savonia! IT WOULD BE A GREAT HONOR FOR US IF UR BOARD BECAME DA C00LeS WaReZ UNiON WHQ BOARD!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: IS THE BOTTLE DOING ROUNDS OR NOT, DAMMIT???
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Oh... I'm already so drunk that I didn't notice... (glug glug glug)... there...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: (glug glug glug)... I'm also SO DRUNKEEEN!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: (glug glug glug)
MyStERiA: Bloody hell... isn't there anything left anymore...
dA dArK ELiTE: There's those dregs in the bottom... just drink those too...
MyStERiA: Eww... (glug .. glug) (cough cough)
MoTHeR FuCKeR: I'm gettin' another bottle for y'all...
MyStERiA: At least I'm quite enough drunk already... heheheh... FUCK... BURP.. BLOODY HELL, I'M PUKIN'... (BURRRRRRP)
dA dArK ELiTE: Like that, that's a good boy! Pukin' just gives ye some bonus points!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ur so great guy... MyStERiA... ur at least as tuff as us...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Now we've got another bottle... BLOODY FUCK, THIS ONE'S BURSTIN' ALL OVER JUST LIKE THAT!!! GAWD-FUCKIN'-BULL-DAMN BLOODY HELL!!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I'm just sayin' welcome to C00LeS WaReZ UNiON... ur a great guy... as a full member...
dA dArK ELiTE: WHATTA FUCKIN' FULL MEMBER, GODDAMMIT???
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Pukin' in da ordeal gives so much bonus points that we'll get ya as a full member... Ya'll get our... (hick)... copsie-games and pussy-GIFs... lemme give ya a kiss on yar cheek... (smack)
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah, and ya'll get to our porn ring also!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah... my mutta always get those Anttila mail order catalogs and they're circling 'round our crew... Matti, I mean MoTHeR FuCKeR now has the newest one... you might be the next one to get it... next week...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: It's got some damn nicey underpants pics there... the manjuice flies so fuckin' well when you wank to them!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah... but yar also gonna get da kinda pussy GIFs ya watch with yar computer, and all da sluts are all naked there... so da fuckjuice flies even better... (hick)... FUKKEN FUKK, NOW I'M PUKIN' TOO!!! (BURRRRRP)
MyStERiA: Am I already in the crew???
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, ur in da crew... (BURRRRRP) oh, goddamn sorry for pukin' on ya... I so much love ya and I'm so sauced...
MyStERiA: It's allright...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But remember then... WE'RE DA TUFFEST DOODZ IN DA WHOLE BACKWARDS-SAVONIA!!! Especially all da town-dwellers are so fukken lame!!!
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah, and we always do the best PRANKS!!! Even nobody in the town can make so good pranks as we!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah, bwahahaha... like last spring... HOHOHOH...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, last spring Kassu, I mean FaTHeR FuCKeR, HOHOHOHOH, our whole gang went to his FATHER'S DATSUN, AND THEN WE STARTED DRIVIN'...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: And then we HIT SOME TREE WITH THAT THERE DATSUN... BWAHAHAH
mR.mEgAsTuFf: WE'RE SO FUKKEN TUFF!!! DIDYA GET IT!!! ...
dA dArK ELiTE: (glug glug glug)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: OH HELL, we've still got that other bottle there... give it to today's hero next!!
MyStERiA: (glug glug glug) ... NO, I CAN'T DO THIS AT ALL... (BURRRRRP)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: DOUBLE BONUS!!!
MyStERiA: (BURRRRP)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: YAR SO GREAT FELLA!!! LONG LIVE DA ETERNAL UNITY OF HAUTATAIPALE SCENE... LONG LIVE C00LeS WaReZ UNiON... WE'RE DA TUFFEST DOODZ IN DA WORLD FOREVER!!! RIGHT, MyStERiA?!?
MyStERiA: Feeling so bad... bloody bell... (burp)
««- · CWU MEMOiRS 0x03 · nExT cHApTeR -»»