««- · CWU MEMOiRS 0x02 · -»»
========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x02 =========
DaTE: 1994-07-04 aT aBoUT 22:00
LoCATi0N: hUkkASuON vAJA, hAutAtAiPALe, LiEtEvEdEN KuNTA, FiNLAND
PrESeNT: mR.mEgAsTuFf cAmE WiTH "tUnTuRi" mOtORcYcLE
dA dArK ELiTE cAmE WiTH BiCYcLE (LAMER!!!)
FaTHeR FuCKeR cAmE WiTH BiCYcLE (LAMER!!!)
MoTHeR FuCKeR cAmE WiTH "tUnTuRi" mOtORcYcLE====================== bEGiN cAsSeTTe tRaNsCRiPTiON =======================
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Allrite...
dA dArK ELiTE: Are we still waitin' for Korhonen to come?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah... ya mean MoTHeR FuCKeR and not Korhonen!!!
dA dArK ELiTE: Do we fuckin' hafta start usin' those stoopid "handles" with each other as well!?!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: We must! All da ELiTE ppl ALWAYS use handles when talkin' to each other!
dA dArK ELiTE: For the fuck's sake, at least I'm not gonna say...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: EVERYONE IN DIZ CREW addresses each other by handle!!! Also applies to dA dArK ELiTE!
dA dArK ELiTE: AMONG US I'M GODDAMN JUSSI AND NOT ANY FUCKIN' DARK-ELITE!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Come on, Darkie, you've gotta start acceptin' ur handle already...
dA dArK ELiTE: WHATTA FUCKIN' "DARKIE"...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Now there's some brumm-brumm soundin'!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Wonder if it's MoTHeR FuCKeR... yeah, it is.
dA dArK ELiTE: Yeah, it's Masa, right.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But, fukken fukk, I'm still pissed off 'bout that... but great that I've made up a plan!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: HOWDY!!! Wassup with that important thang that's come? Or maybe it ain't important at all...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Diz is da most important thing in the history of CWU!!! I mean... fuck it, I can't even say it!!! Could FaTHeR FuCKeR say it instead???
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Ya know...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Hohohoh, all the way up to "ya know"! It's that Helsinki slang...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: But, I mean... it's about Sam Alarastas.
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Hohohoh, SAM, what's Dark Man been doin'?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Sam has... snif... god-fuckin-damn, HELP ME!!!
dA dArK ELiTE: Sam has gone 'head of us in eliteness!
FaTHeR FuCKeR: He's putten a board of his own AFORE US!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Whatta fuckin' BOARD???
dA dArK ELiTE: AN ELECTRONIC BULLETIN BOARD SYSTEM, ye fuckin' gas-sniffing redneck... the kind where we got those there GIF porn pics...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Right, SINCE WHEN HAS SAM BEEN WATCHIN' PORN??? We're livin' strange times, right!?
FaTHeR FuCKeR: We don't really know if he's got any porn there to begin with...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: The actual point here is that A CREW NEEDS TO PUT UP A WHQ BOARD OF ITS OWN, AND WE WOULD'VE LIKED TO BE DA TOUGHEST GROUP IN HAUTATAIPALE AND PUT UP DA FIRST BOARD IN DA VILLAGE!!! But that FUKKEN SAM BEAT US TO THAT!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Is Sam now startin' to get all the new porns afore us???
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Dunno if he even wants porn, but he could get it MANY MEGS ANY TIME as he's got that board of his!! And we don't have a board yet... I was finkin' about putting up a board once I've got a TERBO MODEM for birthday, but that's only after da school has started.
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Guess I might believe then that we're tawkin' aboot some quite grave thang.
FaTHeR FuCKeR: But didye Mega have some plan? Didye -
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, been finkin' about this some time already and this may be da only way...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Tell us about it already??? Pleeze, tell us, PLEEZE???
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Wait a sec, I'm preparin' myself...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Guess it might be a damn tough plan!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: This is so terrible emergency plan that...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: TELL US, TELL US??? PLEEZE???
dA dArK ELiTE: For whatta fuckin' sake are you chewing that bulldung there once again like some FINE GIRL!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah... "I'm da Mister Uproar and I fancy about da cryin'!"
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Shut da fukken up now ya fukken bullmouth now!!! But yeah, I mean, I guess we must... (gulp)...
dA dArK ELiTE: SHUT DOWN THAT CRYIN' ENGINE NOW DAMMIT!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, I mean, (krhm), I've been finkin' that... WE COULD ALLOW SAM INTO CWU!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: WHATTA HELL!!!!!!!
dA dArK ELiTE: GODDAMN HELL!!!!! ARE YE OUTTA YER MIND????
MoTHeR FuCKeR: GOD-BLOODY-DAMMIT!!!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I know this may be quite a shock for ya...
dA dArK ELiTE: THIS BOY'S NOT AGONNA BE IN SAME GANGS WITH THAT THERE DARK MAN!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: All the way up to SAMULI "DARK MAN" ALARASTAS! The cock of honor is not singin' for that rescue plan of yers right now...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Couldna we just take some payback against him??? Like, steal his computer???
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah, or just that modem... that's what he needs...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: We've only got one problem there... THERE'S ONLY ONE NODE IN OUR HOUSE!!!
dA dArK ELiTE: Whatta fuckin' "node"???
mR.mEgAsTuFf: A TELEPHONE LINE INSTALLMENT, DAMNIT!!! Don't you get it know, SAM HAS A LINE OF HIS OWN just for his board, so he can keep it up 24H!!!
dA dArK ELiTE: How's he even managed to get such a thang...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ain't he livin' in some fukken row house???
dA dArK ELiTE: Yeah, he's livin in that there row house nigh the school...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: It's way easier to get another node in a row house than a detached house! Therefore if we want a proper 24H board and not any fukken nightboard we should have a sysop who lives in a row house!
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah, so we canna steal Samuli's modem and put our own 24H board with it...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, I can't get my own node in our house until sometime after xmas, 'coz da workmen need to install dat new cable in da polez. Our WHQ would then be some lame nightboard for many months...
dA dArK ELiTE: But, I mean... won't all of those blokes in junior high be laughin' at us 'cause we've got some wimp like Samuli in our gang???
mR.mEgAsTuFf: CREW, goddammit!!!
dA dArK ELiTE: Yeah, crew...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: They wouldn' laugh, IF WE TRAINED HIM TO BECOME A TUFF DOOD!!!
dA dArK ELiTE: WHATTA FUCKIN' HELL FOR THE REAL!?!? THAT'S SOME THICKEST BULLDUNG EVER, I MEAN GOD-BLOODY-DAMMIT!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Wonder if that's guy's ever becomin' any dead tough fella...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I mean, hey doodz, for da fuxx sake, I've been finkin' 'bout diz for real! It's better to get Sam into da gang than to let him boast on his own with some 24H board!! Everyone sees that we're lamer than Sam and we've then gonna get more swirlies than him... I mean MORE SWIRLIES THAN FUKKEN SAM!!! If we took Sam into da crew and trained him to be a tough guy, then EVERY DOOD IN HAUTATAIPALE WOULD KEEP THE LINE against those town clowns! I mean, d'ya get it? After all, Sam IS from Hautataipate despite bein' slightly lame... town-dwellers are even lamer than Sam...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah, that's right truly true!! At least I think we could take Sam in...
dA dArK ELiTE: Right, it'd be quite shitty if one Hautataipale-dweller made others into a laughin' stock... we villagers need to band together like real brothers-in-arms or Finnish warriors...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: So it's okay for ya that we get Sam in our crew??
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah, it's okey for me...
dA dArK ELiTE: I'm still a bit mistrusty...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: He wouldna need to be any full list-member from the begin with!!! He could just keep our board...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Okey, if he just keeps our board then it's allright...
dA dArK ELiTE: FUCKIN' HELL, I give up. Let him come, even straight into bulldung...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Good that we got some common understandin' here so we don't need to kick anyone outta crew dammit!!!
FaTHeR FuCKeR: But would he accept this???
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I mean HEY, dontcha know Samuli? He'd do ANYTHIN' to get that sort of acceptance from us... or to get to ur crew and trade warez and be a tuff dood! BUT WE DO HAVE DA CONDITION DAT SAM'S GOTTA MADE INTO A TUFF DOOD DOOD OR OTHERWISE HE'LL FLY OUTTA DA CREW!!!
dA dArK ELiTE: Yeah.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: LONG LIVE DA UNITED HAUTATAIPALE SCENE WHERE EVERYONE'S A TUFF DOOD!!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: For the fuck's sake with ye. **vittujee teekäläesennii kanssa.
dA dArK ELiTE: Guess we at least might laughin' out hard once he gets to that there TUFFNESS TRAINING or whatever it was...
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Yeah, it's a given that Sam's bein' there in our trainin'!
dA dArK ELiTE: **Tokkiisa. Korhonen, is yer new kilju already cookin'???
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Sure it's been bubblin' there some time already, so we're gonna have some sauced time for the whole gang on Friday!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Sam's also gonna get blasted with kilju then, bwahah.
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Hohohoh, it's sure gonna be right**off to see Sam boozin'!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, and we've gotta let him taste tobacco as well.
MoTHeR FuCKeR: Hohohoh!!
FaTHeR FuCKeR: Bwahahahah!!!!
dA dArK ELiTE: BWAHBWAH!
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