««-  · CWU MEMOiRS 0x3A · -»»

KUULUTUS: Hakaniemi - Hagnäs.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: It's really so much cooler here in Helsinki than in da countryside, metros and trams and everything! I wanna move here now!!

dR.cRaXoN: Ya wouldn't adapt to livin' here 'coz yar such a shit-smellin' hillbilly!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I will adapt! And then I'd also like to join yar crew -

dR.cRaXoN: GET IT ALREADY DAT YA FUCKIN' WON'T GET INTO CyBoGaNG!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I'm gonna do everything to become a real Helsinkian!

dR.cRaXoN: Yar fuckin born in some forest where ya ain't got no slightest smell 'bout any urban cyber stuffz!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I could perhaps learn -

dR.cRaXoN: Da only one in CyBoGaNG who ain't pure Helsinki-born is CHROMEBURNER who was born in Turku which is a city despite bein' in Lapland...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I don't fink it's in Lapland but -

dR.cRaXoN: Fuckin' everythin' north of Lahti is in Lapland!

dR.cRaXoN: I ain't never visited anyplace north of Lahti and won't, period! My head would fuckin' explode from seein' some Turku or Kotka fieldmorons!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: All fuckin' right then, let it be.

KUULUTUS: Kaisaniemi - Kajsaniemi.

dR.cRaXoN: Good dat ya've at least stopped askin' me to join yar retarded countryboy crew.

dR.cRaXoN: S'pose yar still usin' some fuckin' boardz and tradin' some fuckin' PC gamez -

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Of fuckin' course we're usin' -

dR.cRaXoN: And yar makin' some goddamn demos like dere'd still be something elite in 'em after all deze yearz!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Whatta fuck? Has demo-makin' gone out of fashion somehow too!?

dR.cRaXoN: If you weren't such a bumpkin ya'd know dat demoscene died da very day Amiga 1200 came out!

dR.cRaXoN: And da final death came when Commodore went bankcrupt!! It's total vain to make demos in today's world!

dR.cRaXoN: Any PC or AGA demos ain't fuckin' demos to begin with, but some Assembly-lamers' "multimedia presentations"...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: To hell with some damn Assembly, all that makes me puke like hell!! We're makin' demos only for real true parties!!

dR.cRaXoN: CyBoGaNG ain't made no demos after Commodore's bankcrupt... dere's no glitter anymore in any game-lamer kids' multimedia shit!

dR.cRaXoN: And we quitted board tradin' when da high end of PC-top started to have only country hillbillies!

dR.cRaXoN: Besides all da slightly meaningful parties are somewhere in Rovaniemi or Iisalmi nowadays, da whole scene is some total fuckin' countryboy crap!

dR.cRaXoN: Might maybe visit dat Boozembly dat's gonna be next to da fair center durin' Asm... with good luck dere'll be somebody elite dere...

KUULUTUS: Rautatientori - Järnvägstorget.

dR.cRaXoN: We're gonna leave on da next station. cHrOmEbUrN is dere waitin' for us.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay... but what's CyBoGaNG then doin' nowadays?

dR.cRaXoN: We're fuckin' one true cyberpunk crew! We're rootin' all da megacorp servers and gather influence in da virtual matrix...

dR.cRaXoN: Jotaa demoi voi kuka tahansa nysvää vaik yksin jossaa savutorpas keskel Lappii! Ilma mitää kiinteet nettilinkkii tai spessuhardizt!

dR.cRaXoN: All da real elite bizniz needz ya to live in an urban cyberpunk megacity where's optic cables and all kindza underground tunnels...

KUULUTUS: Kamppi - Kampen.

cHrOmEbUrN: Hi.

dR.cRaXoN: Hi.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Hi.

cHrOmEbUrN: Is that da hillbilly cousin of yars?

dR.cRaXoN: Yeah.

cHrOmEbUrN: Can he talk so that real people get it?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I can.

cHrOmEbUrN: Okay... I'm cHrOmEbUrN and I'm da kinda cybercowboy of da future...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay...

dR.cRaXoN: I still fink cowboys are countryside shit even though I get da metaphor... but deze underground tunnelz are cyber for real, hey!

dR.cRaXoN: Dere's a fuckin' network under da ground here in Helsinki dat bumpkins can't even dream 'bout... one real underground megacity!

cHrOmEbUrN: We've got all da most secret megacorp servers and Internet backbones here...

cHrOmEbUrN: If ya wanna root one of those, then ya've first gotta break into da EMP hall via da tunnels from here and then jack in...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Damn, that would've got all kindsa possibilities!!!

dR.cRaXoN: One of da tunnelz is over a hundred km long... all da waters and foods come thru it from da country here to Helsinki.

cHrOmEbUrN: Yeah, da only tunnel longer than that is in New York.

dR.cRaXoN: Dat meanz when we're gonna get true cyberpunk megacities in da year 2000, den NYC's gonna be da first and Helsinki da second.

cHrOmEbUrN: We've got one secret document that says that before 2000 half of Helsinki is underground for real...

cHrOmEbUrN: And da subway's gonna get ya to Helsinki by then, no need to rise up to any shitty sunlight at all anymore!!

dR.cRaXoN: So, Helsinki really is a million timez tuffer place dan any bumpkin field in Lapland!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, I'm convinced 'bout this for real...

dR.cRaXoN: We ain't still got dem Internet optic fiberz to home dat much, so we've gotta keep watch in all kindsa different placez...

dR.cRaXoN: Like at some university premises and CompuCafé dat got da fiberz.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: CompuCafé?

dR.cRaXoN: It's a restaurant preferred by da cyberpunk people, where all da elitest doodz see each other... wouldya wanna visit dere?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: It'd be quite tuff to see that!

dR.cRaXoN: Okay, let's go dere den... can ya cHrOmEbUrN send a message to IRC now while we're walkin', so cApTaIn hExMaRk comes dere too?

cHrOmEbUrN: Okay...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Man, ya've got a GSM phone of yar own!!!

cHrOmEbUrN: Come on, I'm that grade of cyberdood dat GSM is da minimum for me... maybe in 2000 I've already got some kewl cyber implants.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: And can ya write some message to IRC with that phone?!

dR.cRaXoN: Fuckin' bumpkin, don't ya even know dat da GSM network's got a megacyber feature called SMS!?

dR.cRaXoN: Ya can receive da kinda short text messagez and da new Nokias can even send 'em!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Wow!

cHrOmEbUrN: One guy's got some GSM gear attached to his server so I can send a string to his number and da IRC bot will then say that on #cybogang...

dR.cRaXoN: Guess he ain't coded any system dere dat'd allow to reply doze messagez.

cHrOmEbUrN: I don't fink so... but gues Heksa's gonna come there once he gets da message, 'coz he lives there quite near.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: That's totally fuckin' unbelieavable!!!

dR.cRaXoN: Dat'z exactly why yar never gonna become a real Helsinkian, 'coz yar all amazed by such everyday thingz...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I FUCKIN' AIN'T!

dR.cRaXoN: Ya've gotta improve some to get to our level...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay, we'll try -

dR.cRaXoN: Ya mean yar bumpkin crew? Ya'd maybe better leave it if ya wanna become better.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: But I ain't got nuffin else before I move to Helsinki!!!

dR.cRaXoN: Shit happenz den...

dR.cRaXoN: But hey, here's this CompuCafé now.

cHrOmEbUrN: Da meetin' place for da whole cyberpunk elite!!

dR.cRaXoN: Let's get in den.

dR.cRaXoN: Hi, cApTaIn hExMaRk.

cApTaIn hExMaRk: Hi.

cHrOmEbUrN: Hi.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Hi.

cApTaIn hExMaRk: Are ya dat mR.mEgAsTuFf?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah.

cHrOmEbUrN: This one was finkin' 'bout gettin' helluva outta da backwoodz and move to Helsinki.

dR.cRaXoN: And I still fink dat ain't gonna work!

cApTaIn hExMaRk: Couldn't ya cHrOmEbUrN like crack into some of da city's rental apartment server?

cHrOmEbUrN: D'ya fink that's easy somehow? I still ain't found no fittin' 'sploit for that...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Is it like everyday routine for ya to crack into such places?

cHrOmEbUrN: We've got roots to all kindza placez... but I'm not gonna reveal 'em at public placez 'coz enemy crewz may hear!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Could ya crack into like Enso servers? One goddamn dickhead is da boss at one Enso factory and -

dR.cRaXoN: Whatta fuck is some Enso anyway?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: It's a kinda forest industry company...

dR.cRaXoN: I guessed it's gotta be some bumpkin shit!!!

cHrOmEbUrN: It ain't worth da effort to crack into some country bumpkins' basic production fingz... virtual fingz are da only onez dat matter!!!

dR.cRaXoN: Hear, hear!

cApTaIn hExMaRk: Da material sector's got a bit different methodz dan crackin'... couldn't ya like get da man assassinated?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Who in hell would agree to do it!?

cApTaIn hExMaRk: I've got one contact... but guess it needs quite a lot of extra money to get him do a gig in Lapland.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ya don't need to get to Lapland...

dR.cRaXoN: All dat's north of Lahti is Lapland, get it already!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Oh, right...

dR.cRaXoN: And CyBoGaNG wouldn't be less interested in dealin' some gigz in Lapland!

dR.cRaXoN: And especially not help some fuckin' Laplanders move to Helsinki!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I'M NO FUCKIN' NUNNUKA LAPLANDER DAMMIT!!!

dR.cRaXoN: YA AIN'T EVER BECOMIN' ANY REAL HELSINKIAN EITHER!!! WHO CAREZ!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: FUCK YA!!! I'M GONNA SHOW YA THAT OUR CREW'S GOT DA KINDA POWER THAT CAN EVEN BEAT HELSINKI CREWS!!!

cHrOmEbUrN: Right, yar gonna find some bank server rootin' as if it were a new thing, when all da elite crewz have moved on to da next fing...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: We've got da kinda secrets that ya posh Helsinki people look down at like hell! AND WE'RE GONNA FUCKIN' BEAT US WITH 'EM!!!

dR.cRaXoN: Yeah, yar gonna come here wearin' shitty caps with fuckin' ractors and drive over us or something like dat... YA BUMPKINS ARE SO FUCKIN' AWKWARD!!!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: WE'RE GONNA BEAT US SOME TIME!!! WITH TUFFER TEKNEEX THAN YA CAN EVEN BELIEVE!!! AND I'M GONNA KEEP THIS WORD!!!

««-  · CWU MEMOiRS 0x3A ·  nExT cHApTeR -»»