««- · CWU MEMOiRS 0x25 · -»»
========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x25 =========
DaTE: 1995-02-18 aT aBoUT 14:00
LoCATi0N: hOEnTToELaEN aUTiOTaLo, hAutAtAiPALe, LiEtEvEdEN KuNTA, FiNLAND
PrESeNT: mR.mEgAsTuFf wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY
dA dArK ELiTE wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY
WaRe FuCKeR wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY
MoTHeR FuCKeR wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY
dArK sTuFfEr wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY
WoRLD HeR0 wHO dA pHUKK cARES aB0UT HiS vEhiCLE aNYwAY===========================================================================
dA dArK ELiTE: And now it's the time for an emergency meeting just like after the first day of school?
dA dArK ELiTE: It somehow feels, Tossavainen, that yer patterns are makin' rounds a bit...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Good that ya can already guess da obvious...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: But it's good that ye called us to Hönttölä for the "emergency meeting" and not Hukkasuo...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: It's like two metres of snow in the field... and damn freezin' cold!!
MoTHeR FuCKeR: This guy's already put fire in da stove but it's gonna take time afore it gets warm...
dA dArK ELiTE: After this I'M NOT GONNA BELIEVE THE SLIGHTEST THAT ANY OF THEM SHITTY "HPA TEXTS" OF C.O.P.ERS OR OTHERS WOULD WORK A SINGLE FUCK!!
dA dArK ELiTE: And y'all could also stop worshipping that there Satan!
dArK sTuFfEr: I still reckon those files are efficient, we just hain't understood them properly!
dArK sTuFfEr: And that's why we need that C.O.P. training session absolutely.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I've started to fink 'bout not coming there, 'coz I feel that they've just been jokin' on us all this time...
dA dArK ELiTE: Yeah, it feels they're havin' some theatre there!
dA dArK ELiTE: At least when Erkka delivered them there floppies for y'all, he had such a big show that I was aboot to laugh out loud at him!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, maybe they're testin' how gullible we are... just like when we were makin' those captur-
dA dArK ELiTE: RIGHTY! Guess they had some tape recorder there behind the corner for gettin' a capture of us!
dArK sTuFfEr: Tossavainen, don't listen to that fuckin' Christian sceptic lamer...
dA dArK ELiTE: Like what?
dArK sTuFfEr: YER JUST TRYIN' TO MAKE US THE KIND OF SHEEP YE ARE! YER SUCH A CRUSADER NAZI WHO FORCES PAGANS TO CONVERT AND BURNS WITCHES!
dA dArK ELiTE: D'YE WANNA PIECE OF ME? I've been practicing once again...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: There would be five against one then.
dA dArK ELiTE: Whaddya mean five aganst one, don't you...?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: It's all true what Stuffie's tellin'... I believe ya spoiled this attempt with yar Christianity!
dA dArK ELiTE: Startin' to get quite thick, yer accusations!
dArK sTuFfEr: Ye left awasy from our ritual and instead prayed for yer impotent sadist god and its bastard son...
dA dArK ELiTE: I wasna bloody prayin' anybody!
dA dArK ELiTE: And it was the last time ever now that I took part in yer "pussy raid"! Y'all can became municipiality-championship clowns all yerself!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay then, yar handle's then gonna change for dA dArK WaNKeR 'coz ya gave up the gettin'-laid-project!
dA dArK WaNKeR: Won't matter a shit to me what ya write in that there NFO file...
MoTHeR FuCKeR: I wouldna either dare to be in any of yer pussy project...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yar now MoTHeR WaNKeR...
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Won't really matter...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Anyone still wantin' to be in our crew's official wanker club!?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: No? Okay, good!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I've been finkin' 'bout some more concrete reasons for our miserable failure.
dA dArK WaNKeR: Well, what kind of theory d'ye have then?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I guess that I, y'know, misestimated when I said that gettin' laid would get da priority over computer thingz.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: 'Coz it's precisely our computer eliteness that gives us da power and skill to be better than da town lamerz.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: That's why we should primarily use da computer for gettin' laid, and all those HPA instructions primarily work on boardz and da Internet...
MoTHeR WaNKeR: What's this bulldung once again...
dA dArK WaNKeR: Guess there ain't many boards with girls callin' in?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: There ain't many on boards, right, and that's why I've been finkin' 'bout doing kinda super-efficient pussy raids on IRC...
dA dArK WaNKeR: So, we should use all the same lines there?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, we can vary them a little...
WaRe FuCKeR: But what aboot the phone bills!! What aboot the phone bills!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Oh, yeah, right, guess da phone bills will come next week, and I'm sure ya've been callin' da Internet a fuckin' lot!
WaRe FuCKeR: It's been terribly hard to limit myself enuff!!!
WaRe FuCKeR: And mum's been nervous aboot it ever since she heard rumors about the bill Mikko got...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Right, now that we don't hae any darkboxes we must do as short and efficient raids as possible, and get da IRC girls call our boardz...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And then we can chat and flirt at our own boardz like for hours and arrange dates.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: They're all livin' in some Helsinki or Oulu anyway, so we've gotta plan longer before we get to see 'em...
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Wasn't that computer pussy like bloody boring and ugly, was it?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, I don't really know 'bout that...
dArK sTuFfEr: I believe there are some pretty chicks there too!
dA dArK WaNKeR: But what about the tradin' section?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: We shouldn't really trade a lot anymaw, 'coz all da elite boards got V.34s and we've just got some fuckin' Terbos dammit...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: We wouldn't survive in PC-top with 'em, and we don't have to compete against Mikko either, so who cares!
dA dArK WaNKeR: Right, who cares about PC-top as long as there's somethang new to play every now and then! Although I've only been playin' Civilization lately...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: We can trade enuff for that at least... but all da outwards calls from now on will be primarily for gettin' laid!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Keep all tradin' at minimum!
dArK sTuFfEr: Nytte ku ulospäen ee raaski ennee soetella niin paljoo nii pitäskö joka iikan pykätä nytte omat kannut tulille?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Joo, hyvä idea.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I've got those PCBoard configs ready, so I'd get the board online for this night if I just tell Reijo 'bout it.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And I might also get a 24H node if I keep cooin' to Reijo enuff, and maybe agree to take Tim as some zero-level cosysop...
dArK sTuFfEr: I've also got PCBoard configs ready, and I might talk to my parents today for gettin' it online already for tonight...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: What's da name of yar board?
dArK sTuFfEr: It's something like DECREPiTUDE...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Quite a kewl one!!!
dArK sTuFfEr: It's the name of a Burzum song...
dArK sTuFfEr: And what aboot yer board? Are ye gonna reuse the name of Mikko's late board, would suit that project of yers...?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: IT'S NO BLOODY FUCKIN' PILLU PAIKKA SBBS, I ALREADY SAID IT'S PCBOARD!!!
dA dArK WaNKeR: Heheheheh...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And ya've fuckin' seen those configs earlier, so ya'd know quite well it's Warehouse 2000...
dArK sTuFfEr: Okey, a joke it was... but what if I call it like tonight?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: No, don't hurry so much with that callin', let da chicks call first!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ya could call IRC tonight too...
dArK sTuFfEr: But what about if those Tech Institute nodes beep busy?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, then we must be waitin' for 'em to free up and not callin' other people's boardz.
dArK sTuFfEr: Oh, yeah, right, dammit.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: What 'bout da rest of ya, have ya already thought 'bout names for yar boardz?
WaRe FuCKeR: We're gettin' to make boardz of our own!!! We're gettin' to make boardz of our own!!!
dA dArK WaNKeR: Ye might wanna share that PCBoard on floppies so we'd save in the phone bills?
WaRe FuCKeR: Me too! Me too!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay, go copy it from like WoRLD HeR0 tonight, I wouldn't wanna take any more risk with Reijo now...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But what didya fink 'bout namin' yar board, Darkie?
dA dArK WaNKeR: I was reckonin' aboot sumthang like RINTAMALINJA...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: SUCH A FINNISH-LANGUAGE SHIT NAME??? YA MUST CHANGE -
dA dArK WaNKeR: Fuck, there's Neuvosto-Savo -
mR.mEgAsTuFf: IT'S AN EXECPTION! If real high-level elitez make -
dArK sTuFfEr: I guess it changed it name for Euro-Savo lately...
dA dArK WaNKeR: Fuck it then, let's change it for English then. What would it we?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Eeepäv I don't really know... does WoRLD HeR0 remember?
WoRLD HeR0: Would it be something like Frontline...?
WoRLD HeR0: I'm not sure, better check it out in the dictionary before you make fool of yourself.
WoRLD HeR0: And also check the board list if there's already a board with that name...
WaRe FuCKeR: I'd like the board to have some really c00l English-language name!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And we should suggest it to ya?
WaRe FuCKeR: Well, y'all know better...
dArK sTuFfEr: I reckon it's some clown business to get others to make up a name for yer own board... Do y'all remember that one total lamer?
dArK sTuFfEr: Who whined at GateNet.BBS or something that "could you pleeze pleeze make up a name for my board because I don't really can"...
dArK sTuFfEr: Fortunately he got some pricky replies to that, like Horse Shit SBBS...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I recall he was some fuckin' MIKKO, bwahahah!
dArK sTuFfEr: Right, Mikko Löppönen...
dArK sTuFfEr: What a fuckin' lamo, he couldn't even put a blank line between the quote and his own text!!
dArK sTuFfEr: And he always quotes the whole messages with all the taglines and stuff and can't delete the extra lines!
dArK sTuFfEr: And then always puts a space before the question mark, looks so fuckin' stoopid!
WoRLD HeR0: I've once seen a caller who was lame enough to write his own text ABOVE the quote...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: YA CHEATIN' ME NOW? CAN'T BE AS LAME AS THAT!
WoRLD HeR0: It was on my board's local areas...
WoRLD HeR0: I deleted the message right when I saw it and twitted the lamer hell out of my board, it'd spoil its whole reputation if it had message writers of such low level!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Count on me when I say that IF I SEE ANYONE OF YA WRITING YAR MESSAGE ABOVE DA QUOTE, THEN YA'LL LOSE DA CREW MEMBERSHIP RIGHT AWAY!!!
WaRe FuCKeR: I guess lame quotes are okey with a fake name?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, ya can be as lame as ya can with a fake name...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But have you made up any name of yar board yet, Warie...?
WaRe FuCKeR: I want to have a Burzum name too...
dArK sTuFfEr: ALWAYS APIN' OTHERS! Ye hain't even listened to them much at all...
WaRe FuCKeR: Perhaps something like TOMHET...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Is that something for real? Sounds totally weird...
dArK sTuFfEr: It's a Burzum song for real...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, okay then, let it be that.
WaRe FuCKeR: Yeahh! I'm gonna start configs right away once I've got PCBoard!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: What 'bout MoTHeR FuCKeR, I mean MoTHeR WaNKeR...?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Oh, yeah, right, ya've just got that uncle Osmo's v.22, so it's maybe better that ya just call da IRC with it.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: I hain't even called a lot with it, but now that I've got the captain's order...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Have ya even got that Tech institute number that lets telnet to Freenet with the local rate?
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Naw...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay, someone's gonna give it to ya, and also some instructions 'bout what commands to use at da dialup server.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Allrighty. Yeah, computer pussy. Are there any good pussy places in that there Internet?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: At least there's a lot of girls on #freenet, and what was that pussy-beggin' channel founded by the Doomsday guys...?
WoRLD HeR0: #kukka...
WaRe FuCKeR: #kukka is really megagood!! And then there's also #superkukka which is supermegagood...
WaRe FuCKeR: #nuoret is quite shitty 'coz it's full of posh folks who just give bans and take all the chicks to themselves!!
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Allrighty...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But ya should always ask da chicks to call my board first.
MoTHeR WaNKeR: So, ye should always get the first turn, right?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, I'm da leader of da crew, so ofcoz I must always get laid first!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And if some girl̈́'s gonnas message aroud on my board, then ya others can write to her too...
dA dArK WaNKeR: Did I now understand this right? We others would just arrange pussy for our supreme leader?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I'm da leader of da pussy project... and it's a better idea to centralize all our activities in one board, so it won't disperse among too many boardz...
WoRLD HeR0: I'm still the only one in the crew with a 24H board...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, I'm gonna get that 24H node soon too.
WoRLD HeR0: Oh, right...
dA dArK WaNKeR: It still makes me a bit suspicious, 'cause Reijo is not one of the stablest men I know aboot...
dA dArK WaNKeR: And especially that ye have to take Tim as yer cosysop!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, I can make that sacrifice...
dA dArK WaNKeR: I guess there might be alternatives... ain't there still a phoneline coming even to this house?
WaRe FuCKeR: There's been nobody livin' in this house in like ten or hundred years!! How would it work!! Even electricity doesn't work here!!!
dA dArK WaNKeR: Don't ye get it now... it's attached to the grid pole, just like the electricity line!
dA dArK WaNKeR: Ye could very well call the phone and electricity companies and tell 'em to switch the lines back and start sendin' bills! And then just bring the board machine in...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Would get too difficult... I would then have to visit here for chattin' with chicks and heat up da house to keep warm...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Speakin' of which, did da fire go off already?
MoTHeR WaNKeR: Yeah, and we're out of wood, so I should get some more from the woodshed at home...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, we should maybe finish this soon before we freeze to death.
WaRe FuCKeR: I might still want some hints aboot what to put in my board...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ya've drawn some ANSIs for us before...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But don't get too proud of yar skills, ask someone like dArK sTuFfEr to draw 'cause he's better at it! Ya would just take that fuckin' ugly Thedraw stock font and use it as da basis for yar logo!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Thedraw has fuckin' lost its all reputation 'coz all da lamers use its stock fonts, ACiDDraw rulez...
WaRe FuCKeR: Okey...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And then remember that NO PLACE IN DA CONFIG MUST BE LEFT DEFAULT!!! Ya must change everything, preferably with PPEs...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Ask those guys for a bunch of PPEs and then install them in yar PCBoard...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But remember thatn that they're our PRIVATE PPEs and ya must not share 'em on any file areas, IS THAT CLEAR?
WaRe FuCKeR: Yeah, it's clear...
WaRe FuCKeR: Is it worth to put in some door games?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, there can be some of them, but don't install any fuckin' LadaRace or any other shitty PD-lamer joke games!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Global War or something is all okay, even if ya wouldn't get too many players for it...
WoRLD HeR0: I'm workin' on a new PPE, by the way...
WoRLD HeR0: As you know, normally all boards have that HATE.PPE that allows you to set a hate on a user and then it keeps a hate chart and once you got enough hates, your levels will go down...
WoRLD HeR0: Then I had an idea about LIKE.PPE where -
mR.mEgAsTuFf: WHAT A FUCKIN' LAME IDEA!!!
WoRLD HeR0: Oh yeah?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Fuck it, that's EXACTLY DA KIND OF FLUFFBUNNY SHIT I'VE PROHIBITED FROM OUR CREW! DA ONE WHO PUTS IN SUCH A FLUFFBUNNY PPE -
WoRLD HeR0: But wouldn't it be good if we get those girls in our boards, that we could give them likepoints?
dArK sTuFfEr: I reckon it's not worth losin' yer reputation...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Right, it definitely ain't!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: NUFFIN' WITH THAT KINDA "LIKE" SHIT IS EVER GONNA PROSPER!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: IT'S A TOTAL FAILURE FOR AN IDEA, AND ITS INVENTOR WILL BE LAUGHED TO THE LOWEST CASTE!!!
WoRLD HeR0: Allright, I'm gonna abandon the project then...
WoRLD HeR0: Or at least release the PPE thru some fake crew, so all the lamers will then put it in their boards...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Joo, no tieteski vois duunaa jotaa iha vitu lamei PPE:it jotka kaikki lamerit laittaa kannuihinsa...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But there's the problem that our crew won't get any fame for that prank, so it's better that ya won't get any such projects after that "like" crap!
WoRLD HeR0: Yeah, okey.
WaRe FuCKeR: What else should there be in my board?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, if ya want messages, then ya should probably join some nets.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: I'm gonna put in my own application for at least GateNet and SikaNet as soon as possible...
dArK sTuFfEr: Yeah, I could also join at least SikaNet, 'cause it's got all the 666 areas, and its zone number and area prefix are also 666...
dArK sTuFfEr: And tuff messages there of course, and even at least one girl...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: But we won't fuckin' join any goddamn FidoNet!! It's full of some tight-arsed nazis moderating it to death...
dArK sTuFfEr: Definitely not any fuckin' FidoNet!!!
dArK sTuFfEr: Hey, what aboot founding some CWU-net of our own as well?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, that'd be cool, and then there'd be some private area called ELITEONLY, so no lamers wouldn't get to read our secret messages.
dArK sTuFfEr: Yeah, a good idea.
mR.mEgAsTuFf: CWU's gonna become a fuckin' PROMINENT POWER IN THE WHOLE 97X-AREA-CODE BBS SCENE...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: And I wonder how many small municipalities like our own even has so many boardz!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Even Suonenjoki has only two boardz, and Pielavesi has fuckin' none, I fink...
dArK sTuFfEr: Have ye already decided aboot the skiing holiday, by the way?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, I have...
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Hey, it just came to my mind... WaRe FuCKeR, could yago check if there ain't any folks eavesdroppin' us right now?
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Go around the whole house, there can be people in just 'bout any bush!
WaRe FuCKeR: Okey, I'll go!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: (Come a bit closer, I'll talk quietly...)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: (Reijo's been all nazi lately that everyone in our family should get to Tahkovuori for da skiin' holiday...)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: (He even told Sari that he would get her by force and tie her up in the car if she won't come otherwise... that's for real...)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: (Ya shouldn't tell the following TO ANYONE and mention a single word 'bout it if that loudmouth is in the hearing range... Is that clear!?)
dArK sTuFfEr: (Yeah, clear.)
WoRLD HeR0: (Yeah.)
dA dArK WaNKeR: (It's all clear.)
MoTHeR WaNKeR: (It's clear, let it come out now.)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: (It's our purpose to start the trip in da Saturday morning, 'cause we've got da hut reserved since then...)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: (But I'm gonna run away from my home in the Friday night when da others are sleepin'!)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: (We should discuss details only one-on-one in trusted places where there ain't nobody else around...)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: (And ya WILL NOT KNOW where I am during the skiing holiday, even if ya actually get to know it, DIDYA GET IT?)
dA dArK WaNKeR: (I'm not gonna mention anything 'bout it... Quite a tuff plan!)
dArK sTuFfEr: (Yeah.)
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, WaRe FuCKeR, was there anyone out there?
WaRe FuCKeR: I dinna see nobody!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: Okay, good, I just wanted to make sure that there was nobody there listenin' to our stuff!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: That'll be da end of da meeting, so let's continue configurin' our board software!
WaRe FuCKeR: Yeahh, I've soon got A BOARD OF MY OWN!!! TOMHET SBBS!!!
mR.mEgAsTuFf: PCBOARD, GODDAMMIT!!!
WaRe FuCKeR: Oh, yeah, right, sorry.
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