««-  · CWU MEMOiRS 0x4E · -»»

========= C00LeS WaReZ UNiON * HiSToRiCaL mEmOiRZ * cHApTeR #0x4E =========

DaTE:     1995-10-12 aT aBoUT 20:30

LoCATi0N: sOMe mOpED gANG'S hARdKorE mEETiNG pLACE, LiETeVESi KiRKoNkYLaE

PrESeNT:  mR.mEgAsTuFf / C00LeS WaReZ UNiON
          MoTHeR WaNKeR / fORMeRLY C00LeS WaREZ UNiON
          + sOme MopED gANGzTaHz

===========================================================================

SAMPPA: Korhonen came 'ere with that there Mika Tossavainen!

TOMPPA: Good birthingsday, Korhonen!

MASA: Righty-right.

EERO: Man, yer now allowed to ride yer moped even on the public roads!!

MASA: It ain't mattered afore either! Them cops never patrol that Lahopää road anyway...

SAMPPA: Yeah, but anyhow!

SAMPPA: And yer now allowed to drive tractor also.

EERO: On public roads.

MASA: Yeah, well, that's a bit tuffer thang there.

TOMPPA: And whose boys d'ye belong to? Were ye that there Sari's little bro?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah...

TOMPPA: I'm not fuckin' trustin' Sari and I won't trust ye!

TOMPPA: So, if ye wanna be in our gang ye gotta take the long way to prove yer trustability!

SAMPPA: Well, maybe we should give him the chance...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Don't fuckin' think that I'd be like her!

TOMPPA: Well, at least yer tawkin' the Helsinki faggot dialect like some pro-EU moneylord!

EERO: Ye know Savonian too, right?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, I know it...

TOMPPA: We've also heard some stories of that there computer gang of y'alls! Y'all steal boats and worship Satan...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Korhonen was with us in that there boat thang also!

MASA: Yeah, I got it started and drove it...

TOMPPA: So, 'twas all aboot Korhonen's knowings there.

TOMPPA: I actually let that there Masa's pal here now 'cause he might know sump'n on his own as well.

TOMPPA: That he would've got a kinda skill or whatever to give our gang that we ain't got otherwise.

EERO: I've heard ye've got the master key for our school.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah...

TOMPPA: Well, d'ye have it with ye?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I, well, err, forgot to take it with me...

TOMPPA: If ye ain't got that there key with ye now, then we don't believe that ye had it to begin with!!

MASA: I've seen it that he's got it...

SAMPPA: The master key would be really useful to get to that there woodworkin' classroom.

SAMPPA: Them there Abloy locks in our schools are too fine, our pickin' skills ain't enuff for 'em.

SAMPPA: I heard there used to be easier locks there...

TOMPPA: But now that ye ain't got the key, we canna count it as naw reason to take ye in.

TOMPPA: What else have ye got?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well...

MASA: At least he canna tune a moped anymaw than what I've taught him.

SAMPPA: Well, hey, would ye know some of them there hacker business?

SAMPPA: Like, ye could like break into a bank and put heaps of money to some account we can get it from...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, we've got them dArK- I mean, two guys who've been doin' them there rootings a bit more.

TOMPPA: But we ain't talking aboot 'em but ye! The other fellas were some traitors and all, weren't they!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, right, I could maybe know it too, in principle...

TOMPPA: Ye've gotta prove that too afore ye get to the gang!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Allright then, let's prove it then...

SAMPPA: And what aboot games, would ye know how to cheat in 'em?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I know sump'n...

SAMPPA: Like, how to get money out of Pajatso?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I bet there could be some cheatin' methods for that...

TOMPPA: But ye don't even reach the Pajatso moneyhole yet, do ye!

TOMPPA: Guess ye only know aboot computer games...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Hey, come on, I do -

TOMPPA: And startin' them there Helsinki faggot dialects once again.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm tryin' to tawk Savonian then.

TOMPPA: What aboot d'ye know anythang else, sump'n ye could actually prove?

MASA: At least there'd be them there alderdolls...

SAMPPA: Oh, yeah right, them!!!

EERO: So it's comin' to all crackpot stuff now?

TOMPPA: Wonder if they've been even workin'?

MASA: Well, actually I've now gotten laid by that there Elina...

EERO: Whatta hell! I ain't never managed to!!

TOMPPA: For real, now? After ye'd wanked to that there alderdoll that looks like Elina?

MASA: Yeah... except that Kuusinen had to like activate it first afore it started workin'.

EERO: God-bloody-dammit! And I reckoned that them there Satan-worshippings would've been total woo-hoo!!

TOMPPA: Yer name was Tossavainen, right?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yah...

TOMPPA: Tossavainen... would ye know how to activate alderdolls?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Of course I know!

mR.mEgAsTuFf: It's just an instructions from some computer textfile that says how it's done!

TOMPPA: Have ye got any other dolls ready there, Korhonen?

MASA: Well, there's one of Jaana...

TOMPPA: Wow, bloody fuck there!

SAMPPA: Jaana's comin' here soon also... or sometime aroond tonight...

TOMPPA: Have ye got that there Jaana doll with ye, Korhonen?

MASA: Nope...

TOMPPA: Are ye keepin' it at home?

MASA: Right there, right...

TOMPPA: Fuck! Ye've gotta start ridin' back home now and bring the doll here!

TOMPPA: Put it in some bag so it stays hidden. Ye can't let Jaana see it.

TOMPPA: And once we've got it here, we're gonna activate it with Tossavainen and then try if we'd get laid by Jaana.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I've got one extra condition...

TOMPPA: What's that?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: I've also gotta be allowed to wank at it.

TOMPPA: Okey okey then, that's a deal.

TOMPPA: Guess ye deserve gettin' laid as well, if yer becomin' the witchdoctor of yer gang.

MASA: But this boy's startin' the ride now.

EERO: Could we already start them there kiljus in the meantime?

MASA: Start 'em right there, that's why they're here... for my birthingsday... as long as y'all don't drink all of it!

SAMPPA: I'm gonna bring 'em 'ere canisters in.

MASA: But nuffin' but howdy-ho then, and let's see y'all again after some hours!

TOMPPA: Howdy-ho...

EERO: Yeah, bye...

TOMPPA: I guess it ain't worthy for ye to start yet, Tossavainen, 'cause it's now important that ye do yer formulas sober...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Well, err...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: They've usually worked for us only if we've first drunk some. Just a little bit.

TOMPPA: Really?

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, guess it somehow frees yar mind or sump'n, takin' that booze, so the magics get out...

TOMPPA: Okey then, guess we've gotta give that there kilju to ye also.

SAMPPA: Take the first draught there, Tossavainen. The witchdoctor's draught.

mR.mEgAsTuFf: (glug glug glug)

TOMPPA: Guess that'd open ye enuff for the magic to work...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, I believe so...

EERO: (glug glug glug)

TOMPPA: (glug glug glug)

SAMPPA: (glug glug glug)

EERO: (glug glug glug)

TOMPPA: (glug glug glug)

SAMPPA: It's somebody comin' in!!

EERO: Guess it might be Jaana now.

JANETZU: Hi...

JANETZU: WHATTA HELL??

TOMPPA: Is sump'n wrong there?

JANETZU: WHAT'S THAT HERE FUCKIN' MIKA DOIN' HERE???

TOMPPA: He's in our gang now that he left that there computer gang...

mR.mEgAsTuFf: Yeah, I've gotten to my senses and quit all them there computer shit... and Satan-worshippings...

JANETZU: Okey then... but I wouldna let ye in there still!!

TOMPPA: Take some kilju too, Jaana, and maybe yer gonna see too how good fella Tossavainen is!

JANETZU: (glug glug glug)

SAMPPA: He ain't all that bad once ye get to know him a bit...

EERO: (glug glug glug)

TOMPPA: (glug glug glug)

SAMPPA (glug glug glug):

JANETZU: Well, let's see... are ye fellas gonna skip the school tomorrow?

SAMPPA: Ain't needin' to, 'cause not goin' to school anyway anymaw...

TOMPPA: We reckoned aboot gettin' blasted like hell tonight!!

JANETZU: Guess I'm gonna get too then!!

JANETZU: (glug glug glug)

««-  · CWU MEMOiRS 0x4E ·  nExT cHApTeR -»»